Cock and Bull....

as i was blog hopping, i stumbled upon one of my good friend's current excerpt and which i think... a topic that SHOULD be a concern. thank you encik sung for pointing it out... btw... it was high time you update your blog. i keep reading when creative ppl get funny ke apo ntah.

so... yes... im muslim. most of my friends are. of course not all are good muslims, including myself. however, i still have basics, and prayers are very important. although i say that, sometimes i still accidentally miss it. so... judge yourself where do you stand. and i know im not the best person to conduct this theory on islam or anything to relate to that. but i do have some pieces of mind that i would love to share.

this problem has actually been a while around the environment i live in. stories saying islam is that and this... based on word of mouth. of course it makes islam sound like the coolest religion and all. however, is it right to give people the spirit of islam, and explaining to the non-muslim, using lies, fibs, myths, untrue stories?

myth one: as my friend sung explained, neil armstrong was a muslim, right after he went to the moon. and it turned out... NOT. please sung, if you have this article anywhere, which you could share... please do tell me. it is an opportunity to open the eyes of others as well.

myth two: during the timor timor incident few years back, there were articles in papers, saying that these groups of extremist christians were about to burn down a mosque. as they were about to approach that, while massacring the muslims who were defending the mosque, a group of 'people' in white came out of nowhere, some with horses, and defended the mosque without having a scracth. the christians were scared, some converted, some ran, and the mosque was safe. MAIN question is... is it EVEN TRUE? was the journalist who was there... was actually.... THERE?

myth three: okay... as a sabahan... im sooooo offended. totally. after the Greg Storm... came up stories of how these kadazan/dusun individuals make orgies, totally drunk, they even gave a cat like... one chug of tapai. some of them had sex with each other's wives, some even agreed that their kids have sex with their friends, or their friends' kids. and as the result of that... He showed his wrath. i was there during the aftermath. shipping containers on side roads, boats on the shore, some of them were even on the road, a LOT of roofs came out from the strong wind. now... question.... was there any pictures? any proof? any actual proof from someone who WAS actually there?

of course there are much more stories of explaining the power of Allah. those myths were just to name a few. now... are those real. ive even heard some of it used as a tazkirah, taklim when i was i high school. wont the person be having a big sin, since he's telling the whole jemaah (community of islam that attends the talk at that time) of this cock and bull story? and nt only does is end there... these jemaah would then tell others. and others to others. so... make sure... YOU HAVE your sources right. dont say... ive heard. this is not a ghost story. its about islam. please. one true... the turkey earthquake... the rest of the building in this area fell... except for this one masjid. now that's something to ponder. google it up.

btw... please feel free to show me any proofs on the myths that i explained earlier... IF you have any RELIABLE sources. better if you have someone of personal experience... for example... if you can get neil armstrong to say it himself... that he actually IS a muslim... then... please do show it to the whole world. you can even start here. :).

till then... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (fact... nih bukan tahun baru untuk islam. tahun baru islam end of january... AWAL MUHARRAM! hahaha. well good info for non-muslims who dont know rite?)

Reaching out....

it was a cool weekend... friday... went clubbing... saturday... bowling... and at nite clubbing again... then the next day watched a movie. of course... although i have to admit king kong was NOT fun to watch... but the fact that i was watching it outside bintulu... and actually spent time away from bintulu for 3 days... it was priceless.

and what a cool way to end the weekend... by going on a scooter with a friend.by the beach, tak pakai helmet.... i must say... my balls were left at home. i was the bitch. hahahaah. rasa cam such a rempit moment of my life. hahahha. but fun though. quite fun.

anyway... its the new year's this weekend... and... IM HEADING TO KK!! damn i miss sabah. heck... going to miri was already quite a blast as it was a far cry much more better than depressing bintulu. probably going to shennanigans. but in the morning i'll probably be heading out to kundasang to meet up with my friends.... we'll see how it goes eh? coz i soooooo want to see my miss melody. all cute and cuddly and mencairkan and all. huuu huu. who is miss melody? like the hottest filipino girl that has ever actually talked to me!! heck... hottest girl who actually ever DID talk to me!! sorry ija... she's much more hotter. hahaha.

anyway... i was sitting down... and thinking... the chances we make sometimes... are they all worth it? seriously.... what kind of choices must we go for? waiting for a love that's not being returned... no matter how high the hopes may seem? you must know... it's still just... a hope. is it worth waiting for someone who's been pushing you to the gutter god knows so many times? is it worth waiting for someone who is still in a relationship?is it worth breaking up with someone who has actually been there for you for so long... that you're so accustomed to their way... that sometimes.. when they're gone... you just feel... incomplete? is it worth sitting down waiting for a new job... a job that definitely fits your every criteria, a job that you know, you'll wake up smiling and feeling so eager to go to?is it worth just waiting, and watching the person of your dreams smile and pass by you everyday, without actually knowing how you feel?

at this point of life... somehow... my Carpe Diem... doesnt really seem to apply as much as it did back then. but it still does apply on certain aspects of my life. and i think... in terms of deciding whether that risk is worth taking or not.... i think it's up to each individual. buy that expensive custom made les paul guitar if u want to, as long as you think its worth the risk, get the girl, buy that expensive car, take that job, as long as you know... what to do... what to react... if things... just dont happen the way you dream it to happen... coz if you dont see it coming... it will SUCK... and you know, you will... feel like CRAPT....

reaching for the sun.....

Elsewhere....

just got of the phone with one of the most adorable ladies i came to know... my dearest kakak... lana-chan. congrats in your freshly new job. :). it kinda dawned me... that most people i know now are working... being adults... heck... people dont call you by your nick name anymore. things are really changing. one difference though... so far, right now, i know that working people are looking forward to weekends. as for me... i dont even feel its a weekend. it just passes by like that. basically... if you're in bintulu... time is nothing much. you grow old, but you wont even feel a thing... because... most of the time.... for spare time... you do nothing. that's the thing i would love to change now. start some outdoor thingy... full pump of testerone and all... yeapp.... but somehow... i think non-locals around here really need gorgeous women. sigh. but everyone knows... growing up... is not the best thing we're looking forward to. being able to be young, play around, hang out and watch TV with your friends, throwing snowballs at each other, and where teenage drama is widely displayed... by yourself... as well as by others.... heh. how would i trade my current life with the past four years and relive it again... no matter how sucked it got towards the end.

random thoughts... i never knew that speaking sabahan, not caring where you are... eventhough a densely populated area with semenanjungs... could actually attract a lot of ppl. i dont know if i should apply it in semenanjung. hmmm. maybe... we'll see. i'd probably need faidz's help on this one... introduce me to new group of ppl... and speak sabahan as if ive never stepped foot in KL before. heheh.

i dont understand sometimes... how people say that want to care about certain people... and say.. 'i understand what you're going through' and bla2. honestly... that's a load of crapt. what's more loaded with crapt are those who are trying to help those in dire need... without understanding what predicament they're going through. and what's waaaay more loaded crapt than the previous ones... are those who cause all these predicaments... and act as if nothing has happened, and think they can just patch things up the people they hurt around them after the other crashed and burned. understand this.... those people were there for you when things were fucked up for you back then, those people were there for you when everyone wasnt there for you, those people were there for you for a big portion of your life... regardless how you treat them, what they're condition is, REGARDLESS.... they were still there for you. and dont think they can just smile and act like nothing happened. please... understand.... some people may not have it easy like you do... so please.... understand......

weird... you know... being a pizza delivery guy... who's working on a Friday night for the past three years... ive developed the strangest habit. when my colleagues or friends start making plans for a friday night... id be thinking suddenly whether i'll be working at Pizza Bella, and till wat time will i be working. who will be working with me... and dreading the rush hour that's about to hit later in midnite and somehow... almost everytime... 30 minutes before we close. i know i wasnt having much fun working at the pizza place... but the fact how it really got to me after these three years... it was weirdly awesome? somewhat. heh.

hear from you guys soon... oh and fera dearest.... please do call me when abe and marien are there. i sooo want to hear to all three of you. dpt skype pun dah cukup cool. take care guys....

Pretentious....

it was another hectic weekend. and to make things worse... im eating like a pig. pigging out on excessive unnecessary food. i had my first shark fin soup... no only do i feel guilty of pigging to it... but also feeling guilty for creating a demand for shark's fin, hence causing an illegal hunt and killlings of these innocent magnificent beasts of the sea. yes... i did think that. i cant help it... im an animal lover. dammit.

so far... there's one hot girl here where i work. sadly... she's leaving soon to join MAS cabin crew. damn it... the good ones always slip away. hence leaving me the poor lonely fudger association here in good ol' bintulu.

im sitting down at this hotel for this conference thingy right now... and im beginning to develop some random thinking. how some individual are so pretentious.its already bad enough that they lie to others, but the worst thing is that they're lying to themselves... and not even noticing the fact that things are probably are going to screw up if they keep this up.

if an individual deserves a recognition, deserves something better than where s/he is currenlty, but the environment somehow could not allow the change, DONT demotivate them, dont purposely mock them up in their face. and you wonder why i hate corporate bullshit. from GE, microsoft, and overcontrolling right winged media... (CNN one example).

i cant wait to chill in KK this new year's meet up with sum1... AND meet up with faidz this coming january. hehehehehe. we're going to paint the town red my brother. with or without abe, sadly. wish you could be here nnt bro. but obviously you're chilling with fera and marien and todi in the UK... so bleerrgh to you guys instead. heheheh.

random thought..... are we going to make ourselves be the ones who do not take the risk, and just actually say fuck it to all our to-do list in life? and just look back 10-15 years later and regret for all the could haves and should haves? i think we should do something about it.... as for me... i have to wait.... till im financially stable......

missing something in my life rite now...

hidup ALIF TA WAU association... with regards... -> jiraiya sama.

Ulu nyalau...

i must say... last weekend was the most hectic weekend since i got to bintulu. the young executives club (YEC) were assigned to give some motivational talk to the locals. initially, i was assigned with about 6 other committee members to give some motivational stuff for the kids. in the plan, there was suppose to be bout 20-30 kids under 12 only. but it turned out to be 50 kids under 10. and entertaining them really did suck the life out of me. and most of the time... we DIDNT even follow our program tentatives. it was fun for the 1st hour. but then things started to get really shitty when i was tired... and they followed me everywhere i went. im not trying to say im a good entertainer to kids or anything, but dear god... i just did one magic, and helped them cheered a lot... somewhat. but then honestly... i felt like i was some head mafia gangster... coz these lil boys kept following me wherever i went. totally suffocating. i couldnt even get some rest. and it started from 1030am till 430pm. imagine having at least 30 kids connecting to you like glue. it was fun... but it really got tiring towards the end. but hey... anything for the kids..... (do i sound like father of the year or what? hehe).

the kampung was awesome. what they dont have... cellphone network... electricity.... and water. basically, their electricity comes from generator, and their water comes from the rain that they collected throughout the year. but seriously... minus the kids... it'd be one of the most relaxing place ive ever been to. no cellphone ringing... just winds blowing, and nice ppl to talk to. i mingled around with locals easily as i speak some brunei. 'au tah... bulih tah ku berkurapak brunei sikit, tapi batah banar ku indak berkurapak, payah banar'. :D. heheh. but anyway, the makcik2 were cool, i had kari kijang for the first time, didnt get the chance to taste the pelanduk though. but then the pakcik2 has already offered to take me hunting if i wanted to. and dude... another manly thing to add to my list. hunting with a bunch of men holding a rifle in the dark nite and bbq-ing wild deer right after we skewer him under the fire. yummm....

all in all... it was awesome... of course the kids were getting annoying... but then again... they were just... kids. there's a lot more they need to know. for the time being... the best thing to teach them is... how to have FUN. no skema2 thing... just pure kick ass FUN. and the kampung... full of culture, tradition, and education....

mari sorak... sorak lagiiiii..... (i really lost my voice)


irfan blaine in action....


more kids... tearing up my spirit bit by bit


the last bit of my energy... about 1 hour later....


di kerumun.....


notice how i cant get them off myback. wish i could bred them into a bunch of triads and get to serve me when i need them for whacking someone.....

setting sun of nyalau



blood screening test for the elderlies....


sate buntut ayam....


ps:- i tried one bit of buntut ayam. BLEEECCCH!!! tak sedap bodoooo. jangan try... JANGANNNN. not only its high in cholesterol, but also tak sedap.

CITY OF GOD....

Probably a lot of people has watch City Of God... but i just did last weekend. its a movie that revolves around the poverty of transferred slaves from africa to Rio De Janeiro, Brasil. basically... it was about brasilian hoodlums. little kids at the age of 8, 10, already started snorting coke, smoking joints, and worst of all... murdering people. some of them deserved it... most of them... didnt. kids around this age was already owning a hand gun. what scary about the movie was... it was a true story revolving around the 60's to 70's. i would love to give away more info about the movie... but, it was SUCH A GOOD MOVIE, that i prefer to leave to my readers and watch it themselves.



the cinematography, the script, the story line was mind blowing. ive always thought the best mobster movie was snatch, lock stock, pulp fiction, godfather. however... i must say that this movie... top it the most. the story teller was part of the story himself, and how he try to stay away from the hoodlum life, and his observation of how the hood in City Of God grew gradually from the start of 'the tender trio', 'lil Ze and Benny', to how he actually jump start his career by benefiting the situation in a legal way. i cant even come to explain the drama, the climax, the gore, the action, and how each different set of characters were able to make you concentrate and just leaves you sitting on your couch in awe. its definitely a movie worth watching. although the main character, which is the story teller is not that good of an actor, i think, personally, but seriously... the whole story totally made up for that. it was just... unexplainably... AWESOME. it kinda made me thankful, that i did not have to grow up a hard living, in a fucked up neighbour hood full of coke, weed, sex, and murder. would even be able to go to US, nevertheless SAS. ntah2, i wont even know how to speak english, and pillaging innocent lives for their daughters and money. god knows the what ifs. and i thank Him for putting me here. of course its bintulu... it sucks... but its not that bad. yes its not exactly KK, or KL, but im still breathing, and making money.

well... watch CITY OF GOD... it'd be cooler if anyone would buy me the DVD... hehehehe. WAY COOLER. WAAAAY COOLER. ehem. thank you... take care... and later....

Firasat....

work is... okay... not bad... but okay. although most people who has been there aren't as psyched... which technically really really brought me down initially... but alhamdulillah... i got into a really nice section of department. cant imagine id be working in a clinic. hahahah. but im not like a man nurse or something. one thing i cant stand though... the oil palm being processed... makes me nauseas. but other than that... it should be okay.... i think... i'll give it a chance.

anyway... my cellphone ran out of battery so i had to wait outside the plant for my housemate in the sweet smell of polluted air of palm oil. i remembered my ipod and slipped it into my ear. then tup tup... firasat by marcell was on. then memories start flashing by....

i remember listening to that song and appreciating the cloudless sunset at the hill that overlooks houston field that's just beside mcGiffert. at first it was just me... sitting down... smoking my cigar... and just stare at the horizon... staring at the sky that eventually turns red as the world turns. just some cars passing by... it was my 30 mins getaway. after that... i decided to share it with tod and fera... then abe and sung... then with everyone else before ferr and sung went back to Malaysia on the 20th of June. it was just like yesterday. sometimes... i wish that moment would never end. heck... if it ends... i was hoping that there would be one of those places here in bintulu. if it was me ferr abe and tod... we'd be lighting up ciggys and a cigar... and talk about what life would be like after we all went back. how would all the our of us would be like after... would we actually still be the exact some individuals if we were to actually meet again? and just catch up with lost times.... at night... we'd be sitting down at the same spot... looking up the sky.... with those whole lot of stars... (yes it sounds sappy... but you guys should've been there... then you'd know). really wished it hadn't end.

to the mcGiffs... let's chill 5 or 6 years from now... somewhere in KL... where i can actually afford to go... hahah. look for a nice location... and just chill. with chips... dips... ciggys and cigars. and catch up. yeap... definitely missing you guys. we could recruit faidz at the same time. itd be great.

I'm Not O-fucking-Kay....

Well... nothing much about work. not going to say anything about work in this blog as much as i can... as this will be my real job as an Exec(Occupational Health and Hygiene). as far as i can say... today... things turns out to be pretty cool anyway. no more bad perceptions... (well not as much)... and has been positive more than ive ever been since i stepped foot here... so im okay.... trust me... =D.

I got a pretty cool room for a cheap hotel with a depressing set of night club singers singing some really bad choice of songs where id prefer not force myself be online in the lounge so that i could get away from the song. but today i came prepared with a set of head phones and some angry songs that just keeps me really hype up.

bintulu is... well... well basically not the run of the mill of my life. as kampung as troy is... come on... i LOVE troy. honestly... i loved it since i stepped in as a freshmen. sabah? okay... i regret saying how boring sabah is... honestly saying... even from locals here... they say this... Kota Kinabalu is like the best town in borneo. period. cant wait to go home... and just chill... and going with the flow....

rite now... all i know... is i cant wait to go up and throw my head on the pillow and just totally sink in and waking up as late as i can. and my 'as late as i can' is actually 8 pm. heh. btw... this sucky hotel does NOT have a gym. SUCKS!

well im bummed out... tired... if you guys are bored or anything... feel free to call me. laterss....

Surreal... but Sweet....

So many things happened in just 3 whole days.... probably the best moment of my life in Sabah. just going with the flow... if it happens... it happens... if not... ive learn so many things and i dont think id be pissed if it didnt work.

I dont know what to say... because usually when things actually starts happening... i become reserved... so... yeap... i dont know what to say. ahahaha. but i do miss Miss Melody.... with her lenggok, and her down to earth hi, and sweet sweeeet smile.... she's definitely my number 2 girl rite now. sorry atiee, fera, mary, i have to bump you guys up. who's number 1? well it involves a lot of driving and a lot of coffee and partying.

when i was chillin at shenanigans, i accidentally met 2 of my primary school friends. hahaha. and one guy didnt expect to see me the way i am, and the other guy, i didnt expect to see him the way he is. he was surrounded by 4 TALL hot chicks... like duuuude!! did NOT see that coming at all. and now he invited me to chill at his bday party at the beach... he told me there's going to be a LOT of girls... and he doesnt think he could actually handle all of them... hence needs some back up. hahaha. i dont know if i should help him out. but i do know that the girls are really hot. however... i dont think looking for girls would be a problem as much for me now. probably not that much interested anymore. (this is where i say thank you to faidz... thank you PAIZZ!!)

i never knew how Sabah could actually be awesome, and most of all... magical. most of my times ive spent by going to CC, and just become a supir for the family. (supir = driver). but now, there's so much more out of it. you could actually walk by the beach at nite... with fish jumping out of the ocean. next time id definitely bring in a fishing rod along. then there's this nice dessert place... small and quite nice of a chinese setting... with really good ais kacang.

then there's my random trip t my cousin's beach house... where suddenly they have 7 lobster freshly caught... for free... and we ate there scrumptiously with my cousin. it was so damn awesome. then i took a walk on the quiet beach... and felt relaxed and peaceful. also... i didnt know there's a shisha place in sabah. again... just by the beach. come to think of it... a lot of cool stuff by the beach. heh. so guys... i'll take you guys around if you ever are in Sabah...

anyway... i'll be working soon... something suddenly kinda triggered me inside to have a career change... but ntah laa... we'll see how it goes. like i said... let's go with the flow. probably i could actually be one of the top guys in petronas legally, and actually do own a mini cooper, or a mustang 2005. definitely.... well i cant wait for more randomness to happen in my life... and guys... i Carpe Diem-ed... and it worked.... so... you guys should.....

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir & Batin....

woke up early with a plan to pose enam on raya kedua. but turns out... my sahur alarm didnt work as i took that strong allergy pills. heh. anyway... as i was chillin down at my grandma's and my Mak Tua's home yesterday... then i remember what'd i missed. that family jokes and loudness. i do come from a loud family. and man... i have like soooo many nephews and nieces... i seem to lose count and name of who's who. my second raya is about to start... and only to find out that my favorite aviator... the original ray ban is lost somewhere in my kampung. luckily we're going again today... so im going aviators hunting today.

anyway... i would like to say Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir & Batin to my dear friends... the terror trio... you guys should've been there with me last nite? where? hehehe... involves a cigar, hot women, 1 hot filipino woman, and some skills i dont even know i actually have. :D. anyway... you guys are like the coolest ppl to me. so, i would like to say Selamat Hari Raya for any cheap short jokes, any bad jokes ive did. it's all cool guys. to the McGiffs 303.... around this time of year... usually we'll start watching cheezy movies the whole day... and indulge ourselves with all the instant raya thingys you could get... rendang, lemang, ketupat, serunding (by this time i think they'd probably came up with instant nasi ayam or sumthin). and you guys do the best thing with me... redefining chillin... alif ta wau... missing the flow with alizee and led zeppelin in the background while kita balas pantun and sambung ceter. you guys rock... cik atiee... dont be sad celebrating raya with just aliya. you know you have ur love of ur life me :P... and then ur boyfriend armand after. hehehehe. if ur ever bored and down... there's always me to call. armand the bf would probably wont be available as much since he'd be living it up indulging himself in rendang and all... SAS le pacte... i know i havent been there as much due to my absence almost everywhere currently, especially being in Sabah.... i know if i were chilling wit all of you... we'd be livin it up ampang style... represent.... RPI hommies... thank you for all the experiences... the great times... great food... ija, taroi, jebat, nawaal, adilah, elle, julie... miss you guys so much... lain kali... kita buat movie gathering kat midvalley ke aper... hopefully. my batch... really miss crashing to ur place and just sit down and flip thru the channel while gluttoning into your hari raya food three days in a row. :D.

basically.... to all... Selamat Hari Raya... Maaf Zahir batin.... you guys rock... and forgive me for all the mistakes ive ever done to you all... kalau ada hutang ke aper... please do tell me... i'll do whatever i can to settle it.

My malam takbir raya, and malam raya were... all about carpe diemming. ive not carpe diemming all out. just taking my sweet time... although time i know would not be on my side as much... after that... its work work work... and 'news' is work work work far far far.... but ntah laa... backing out kot.... quite intimidated... you understand abe... hehehe. you do.... take care guys....

around this time last year....

So... its almost hari raya. why am i not psyched? the fact that i'll be celebrating raya in a 6 year old baju melayu with kain pelikat? no... the fact that its raining and i cant light up the pelita? no... the fact that i could not enjoy my hari raya since ive been a hypochondriac? err... maybe... but mainly because... celebrating raya 4 years away from home... and having the time to spend with really close friends, and do nothing but eat and watch cheesy malay movies, and watch chick flicks where the chicks who were watchin it end up sleepin, and the balls end up watchin.... yes i love my family... of course... but ntah laa... i think even my dad kinda accepts the fact that i am who i am now... an 'orang dagang'. 11 years of my life... ive been bunking my friends place, hostels, campus dorms, ive actually grown accustomed to that situation. and i really do miss chillin with my friends... and around this time of year... me and pizha would hit the cinemas, watching scary movies, from the first year... the ring... then texas chainsaw massacre... then Saw. and around this time of year we'd be still going to class although it was raya. and eventhough they have dull takbir raya there... but the nice crisp breezy weather, was nice.... what can i say... that's the path i chose since i was a kid. the path i chose to grow up in. and one of the reasons why i think Allah sent me to bintulu. ive been given challenges from time to time... dat now its my life. i bet im going to tackle this one insya Allah... and go scuba diving, caving in Mulu, boating and fishing in rajang. probably even kayaking. hmmm... thinking about it is already making me psyched to go. but anyway... i miss all those little things of my four years of raya abroad. but hey... its life... and changes, challenges, are things we have to accept....

HAPPY BDAY NAWAAL YG COMEL. sorry tader present this year!!! take care!!!!

Boredom... it kills....

yes... i am so fucking bored. i know i shouldnt say this, but i soooo cant wait to start work. at least im getting a lot of cash, and meet friends, and probably even new people. heck, i'll probably try my best to learn how to speak sarawak. sigh.

so basically kotak dari pakcik2 emwhy patut dah sampai dah... 3 BULAN YANG LEPAS!!! demmit laa... i packed my current baju raya, my songkok, my work clothes, all that shit in the boxes. and i honestly, i'll be wearing my old baju melayu hitam johor with KAIN PELIKAT!! ah fuck it... hari raya is just not the same without my friends anyway.

i forgot to mention this last time, when i was in KL, as faidz and i were about to exit his homely home, i saw one of the gayest thing ever on Malaysian TV. one of my closest friend doing the gayest thing ever... Abe, saying 'Saya nih memang peminat Adam lah... cara dier menari, sangat cool lah.' well something in that line laa. about adam joget and all. and it doesnt end there, my other friend, marien, who was sitting across abe, just had to spice it up with 'Saya pasti Adam tuh boleh laa penetrate international market.' basically something along that line laa. nice act guys. you're faces were rather priceless... and might i add... 'convincing'. hahahaha.

so i got back from a medical checkup yesterday, and turned out i have an excess of earwax problem, especially on my right ear. and hence, i had to use this earwax softener last nite, pouring it on both ears every 2 hours till i get almost completely deaf. then went to see the doctor in the afternoon today, and he completely sprayed out the wax. and dear god i must say, the whole chunks of earwax that came out, especially from the right ear, are big enough to be a single bead of un grinded black pepper. and it came in all sorts of color, dark red, red, orang, yellow, black. i dont even want to know how long has that thing been in my ear. i was just laughing my ass off with the doctor as i watched that whole pile of crapt being cleared out of my ear. its just soooo amazing. so remember people, get your ears checked once in a while. because this is a normal case, and one of the reasons is basically the shape of the cottonbud itself. instead of taking out the wax, it only cleans the wall of your ear, and it actually pushses more wax into the ear. and seriously, after that session... my ears are SO CLEAR. BIG TIME!!!

im happy for a very good and great friend of mine rite now. although no one, including himself knows what is his position right now. but he's carpe diem-ing. and the whole team is behind you dude. honestly. strangely enough, i dont know if i could ever actually really move on. people say its hard... but never did i know it is this hard. fuckar... hate to think about it so much right now. i dont know if im even ready yet to actually start jumping off the river and leave all my belongings like James Blunt.

probably work life is not as cool as college life, but that college life, will always be in this 23 year old executive. muahaha. college life fucking rules. sipping green teas dude. well.. im getting really sleepy. have fun for the rest of week people.... wish me luck... in wutever... if you know what i mean. hahahha. (whose line is it anyway.... )

miss you guys!!

Se7en... my turn....

As most of my friends know me, im not really good in playing soccer. if there was an award for a sucky soccer player of the world, id probably be on the top 100 list. but then again... it doesnt mean that i dont have any cool memories of it. somehow, suddenly, while i was playing futsal with faidz and his crew, i suddenly hve this flashbacks of my very first goal. if im not mistaken, i was in standard three, and if most people remember, during primary school, there'd always be more than 11 people in one team. and it was during PE period, with two different classes, so i was playing for my team. growing up as a lil kid, with my chronic asthma, lack of fitness, i was always overlooked, and in fact, some of my friends weren't really nice to me. heck, if i think it over, i wont even regard them as friends. so being able to play that day was pretty much made me feel excited. and i remember how everyone would swarm over the ball like hungry wolves trying to get a kick at it. and somehow, i wasnt part of the swarm. then sudenly, someone kicked the ball, it went up, and got in front of me. i dont know how i did it, but i dribbled (well being the not a good soccer player, it wasnt even dribbling, it was probably some sort of nerdy kick), and got to the front of the goal post, and i kicked, and this kid, who was in yellow, (that time i was in red), chested the ball, hence, it bounced back to me, and i kneed it, and it went back and forth for the second time, till the third time, i kneed it to another side, and hit the goal. it was probably one of my most memorable moments in primary school. and my classmates were jumping on me, and cheering and all. although things revert back the period after, but the fact that they actually cheered for me during that time was... well priceless.

Faidz's blog had this seven things of bla bla. and it seemed pretty cool... so here's mine....

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
-> Hike up Anapurna (i heard its challenging, and having a sherpa carrying ur stuff sounds so damn cool
-> Own a chain of restaurants called 1999 Burdett Ave. (with the setting that me and my friends been dreaming about, which is a classic nice old school setting)
-> Make out with and Unduk-Ngadau, and she'd actually sincerely say, i was the best!!
-> Sky Dive.... (without a tandem)
-> Scuba Dive in Sipadan
-> Be a cool TV host
-> Taubat. Then baru buat haji.. (strangely enough, this wasnt on my list, till i watched National Geographic, on the documentary of Haji, and comparing it between three different individual from three different continents. VERY AWESOME)

7 Things I Can Do
-> Scuba Dive!!
-> Suddenly coordinate the shortest route from one place to another, taking into account the amount of traffic at that particular time, the number of traffic lights and what is the distance. (i blame this during my 3 years as a pizza delivery guy)
-> 3 different Martial Arts (Silat, Taekwondo, Capoeira) and actually be into it, so in this, id have headstand, handstand, flip, i have yet to be skilled in backflip, but i am trying)
-> Do what i think a very good scottish/irish accent
-> Imitations.... best imitations of scottish, popular school girl who thinks she's the coolest girl in her class, my hated warden
-> Make a pizza... probably even a good one
-> Fishing... it sounds boring, but it is very cool, especially if its in the middle of the ocean


7 Things I Cannot Do
-> Ping Pong
-> Play Guitar (currently, i only know how to play 4 songs. that's it)
-> PROGRAMMING!! I HATE IT!!
-> Sing... hahah sadly... i wish i really could. my 'best singing' are all in a vehicle
-> Dance... (the best thing i can do is do the robot, id probably should try real dance one day)
-> Eating without regrets... (as most of my friends know, im a lil hypochondriac. so when i eat a lot, id always feel bad for doing so)
-> BACKFLIP!! (i'm practicing, almost though once.)


7 celebrity crushes
-> DENISE KELLAR (id love to be with her, heck even once, heck, if she kisses me, id be happy enough)
-> Angelina Jolie
-> Alizee (french singer, look her up... hotness i tell you... HOTNESS!!)
-> Heidi Klum... mmmm
-> Meg Ryan... back in her short hair under 35 days... so cute....
-> Laura Prepon... what can i say, i have a thing for tall women
-> Gabriell Union


7 often repeated words/phrases (mine arent that much different than Faidz's haha)
-> duuudeee
-> serious shit??
-> fuckerr!!
-> damnnn....
-> bollockss laa wey...
-> shaiit
-> tension siall


7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
-> Bubbly... in a cute way
-> great personality
-> being able to blend in with my random thoughts, and join in as well
-> Being slightly possesive when she sees competition... slightly
-> childish at times
-> height... somehow im attracted to tall women, as tall as i am, maybe slightly shorter, or slightly taller. im weird... what can i say....
-> English... have good grasp of english... so i can complain, and she could actually understand, and give her 50 cents in english
-> Great sense of fashion... stylo...

Loaded complex....

In Memories....



Semoga Allah Mencucuri Rahmat ke atas Roh Beliau... i may not know her... but she did so many things to create the best individual in all of us... insya Allah....

She's Beautiful....

right now im sitting down in quiet ol' sabah. last week, on tuesday, i was called up by petronas at 1030 am to come for an interview in Bangi, hence i had to be there by the next day with my own money to go to KL. i dont know why'd they need me there, but i was excited enough because... hey... its KL. the sucky thing was, i had to cut my hair. and then later around 530 pm, when ive packed and all... petronas called again, saying that i dont have to go to Bangi, because they made a mistake, and im now posted in Bintulu. sigh. unrefundable tickets, but hey, i kinda really need the break from my family and stay there in KL. and strangely enough, i still went to the interview.

so stayed at faidz's, and i must say, he is a great friend, and my stay there was very VERY cool. no wonder abe loves him so much. i went to the interview with sneakers, shirt, unironed slacks, and armed only with resume and my copy of diploma. mainly because the person told me the day before it was an informal interview. and strangely enough, they asked me for my thesis, all my sijils and all. mainly because ive never been in a job interview here in malaysia. hahaha. but you know what... i got it jugak. hahahah. i can say i really blew them off. but then i had to merayu at KLCC for me to be posted in Bangi. but sadly, to no avail... im now posted in Bintulu. so if u guys are EVER in Bintulu, do look me up.

went to watch 4 brothers... with a cool group of people. cool enough, i think i clicked. faidz's friends were great. met lili, the sabahan stewardess... trying to build some networking there... probably she could introduce me to some businessmen later when i do... business... things like that. she could probably introduce me to some stewardesses, who also may have some connection to other businessmen that i can talk business with. things like that. its called NETWORKING. ehem.... anyway.... had a pretty smashing time, havent had a sabahan friend who's from around kk, and lives like 5 mins away from my place. so yeah... NETWORKING.

then the next day bukak pose in Souled Out. met more of faidz's friends. got some more talking, some more networking. had really really good lamb shank. yummm. then went to uncle don's, with faidz, lili, fairul, and lili's hot stewardess friend. she's like, cute, sweet, dark, tall, cute, friendly. but of course unavailable. but yes... its all about NETWORKING. her boyfriend probably knows a businessmen as well. for my business later in the future....

i must say... staying with a kelantanese family... is actually VERY cool. i really have to listen what they say. and the cool thing is, i understand. i dare not speak it though, probably i'll be laughed at. but hey, its fun knowing that kecek kelate is not that hard to understand. and faidz's mom cooks really really GOOD. honestly, i prefer eating at home than outside. hahaha. and a very cute niece. feels like gigit2 jekk the 6 year old's pipi. (okay... that sounds sooo gay).

on sunday, we went to mid valley, and man, i havent been there for like 1 year. that place is HUGE. im not sure which is bigger, OU or midvalley. but midvalley definitely has sooooo much more people. period. felt slightly suffocated. went to san francisco steakhouse. great steak... great steak. and met with more of faidz's friend, and a his friend brought a model friend. pretty, petite, cute, model-like laa basically. but then again... its all about networking. she probably knows a modelling company that is interested in my business... and all.

the last day, i went to uptown... which i havent been to for 4 years. and holy shit. it sure isnt the uptown i used to know. i thought i walked into petaling street or sumthing. freaking weird. but got some more aviators. hahahaha. me and my aviators. very VERY cool.

by the end of the day... i get to say that... it was a great stay. and yes... id say faidz, you really compensated with that Rexona thingy. hahaha. i get to do a LOT of NETWORKING, with men, women, and stewardesses. hmmmm... networking... a cool thing to do.... :D.

Speaking of the Devil....

remember last post, when i said livin it up? so here's a recap that day, i wrote that until aroud 10 am. took a bath 1030 am. watched tv 11 am. 1130 am my nephew called me up, asking if i want to join him for a speedboat ride. muahahahha. and you know how i love living life. i forgot to ask what was the top speed of the boat, but it is sure damn fast, and at one point the guy was only inches away from the sand, and then he made so many 360 spins, and the spin was so fast that one HAS to hold on the bar with both their hands, other wise they'll be flying out of the boat so fast, they wont even have the time to say their mother's name. so people... live it up!!

btw.. playing CS, 4-1 on the terrorist side is pretty cool. i just obliterated a whole team of counter about 5-6 of them in one go last night. hahaha. okay... that's a nerd talking there. now here are some random thoughts...

Crazy Frog....

oh dear god... can someone tell the entertainment industry in Malaysia to STOP playing those irritating stupid songs??? i mean seriously, its just some techno freaks replaying the famous 80's soundtrack and mix it up so badly, and makes it sooo irritatin 'ding ding ding!!!' the sound keeps ringing in my head. im sorry to UK and europeans but i definitely know that americans dont come up with those irritating type of songs. they come up with irritating rap songs, but now annoying froggy character that repeats the whole songs for 4.29 minutes.

C-Tea....

i was at the airport one time, waiting to meet my alam shah teacherss and there was a big screen TV on the ceiling, showing clips of sabah, and some informercials as well. so then suddenly pops up siti nurhaliza, drinking tea, you know the corniest way imagine, it would always go like this 'hi saya irfan, setiap kali sebelum saya ke pentas, saya menghilangkan dahaga saya dengan segelas teh T-Fan yang diperbuat oleh herba2 tempatan yang kaya dgn vitamin B kompleks.' then i take a sip... 'mmmm... enak sekali!!', then i grin. that was how C-tea's commercial was like. corny, and to put the corny level up a notch, they had clips of other extra drinking and saying... mmmm... enak sekali. sigh. Siti is a very good singer, she's almost impeccable, she's beautiful, she's so rich, i dont think she had to even do that commercial. those are just one of her agents trying to score some cheap money or so. poor her. but you got to love siti's voice though. that's her life. oh and not to mention her cute face. mmmm... comel sekali....

Second Dive on a big boat last weekend... coolness.....



Ze Zpeedboat from Ze Land....


The V8 engine....


The sweet ride....

Livin' it up....

In retrospect of dear ferr's past entry - Growing Pains, it kinda triggered me of how most of us are currently living our lives. ive seen myself 10 years from now, being out of shape, slaving under some corporation, doing something that they REALLY HATE eventhough they studied their asses for that major in college, without a decent pay, and debts of houses, cars all over. im ugly and single, and i sit at home every nite, INCLUDING weekends watching an illegally downloaded movie, and on certain nites, id go out to meet my great married friends abe, faidz, and ferr. hence, it dawned me... is that how i want to be living life? of course we need to earn something for a living, but to live an actual life... and living it... i think that's something everyone needs. everyone needs a certain mecca, certain getaway, to make sure there's always something to get you through life in these hard times.

yes... aku menganggur. ive had some ppl who kind of question me of doing the mtv audition, and even considering being an mtv host if i actually got it. some say it was a waste of college, some implemented it was a waste of time, some implemented i'll never make it. but hey, if i didnt even get it... im proud to say... i was very close to the best thing ive actually REALLY wanted to be than most people out there. most people who works a life that they bitch about, being bored, doing paper work, in front of the computer day and night. and say, yeah sure, work is okay, but what they actually want is to be a professional surfer, be in a rock band, own their own company, be a zoologist, be a doctor, in fact, be the best thing you can be.

and alhamdulillah, although being unemployed, currently, i AM living life. i dont always sit at home watch TV, chat, go to CC. ive always wanted a relaxing morning where i jog leisurely, beside the beach, in the jungles, breathing each and every breath, each and every second that He has given to me. i got my scuba diving license, something ive always wanted to do since i was a kid. discover new wildlife in the tropical forests, tracking my way through wild pitcher plants in the early morning mists, admiring the endangered majestic creatures that was made by Him, go on boat rides to the middle of the sea and fish, relax, and do leisure dives, watching creatures most people has only seen from a fish tank, on their plate, and text books. and yes... instead of being a wuss and going out of the stereotype of being engineers, lawyers, accountants, ive really actually tried for the thing that i really actually wanted to do. yes i know, adult life will most of the time be sucky, will be boring, but if you let it get to you, and always find your mecca, your getaway, it'll always remind you that you are alive.

so my dear friends... you have to question yourself, besides sitting down relaxing at home, watching TV, go shopping, chill with friends... what are the things that you have ALWAYS wanted to do but never did. surf? be a professional photographer? be a race car driver? be an equestrian? sky diving? wind surfing? travel somewhere so randomly alone? push yourself to do it... stop bitching about your life... and live it. and dont ever think im wasting my life away... coz i know... im living it.... :)

Selamat BerPuasa....

Back to you....

BeHold... En Nik Faidz's cool videoclip... one of his first steps into becoming at director. the clip may take sometime to load, but hope you bear through it. it's worth the watch.

So its a Sunday morning... and guess what am i going to do in 1 one hour. SCUBA DIVE!!! muahahahah. hopefully get to see some barracudas or better yet, baby whale or sumthing like that. heh. kakak lana-chan, i wish you were here, you could probably join us. :).

Earlier this week, i got a call from MTV. i was in the final consideration for a VJ. But i never got a call back after that. so i dont think i got it. bt strangely enough, i never thought i'd be even getting that close to the dream job of my life. big time. i was sad, but... it still amazed me that, i actually made it through one phone call. it was a great rush. and thanks for the support to my loving friends, especially abe and faidz. thanks dude. kalau korang tak tolak aku naik pentas arituh, mmg tak sampai sini laa gamak nyer.

my current past time, its not my favorite, but this is the only thing that gives me action here in KK is going out with my nephew and my biras, to the local CC, 3way.com. and damnnn... aku kini setaraf dgn cina2 lendir yang giler terer main Counterstrike. my favorite weapon is definitely 3-4 now. it lasts longer than an mp5navy. i gunned down 4 men in a row with that without having to reload. hahahah. shit... i sounded like a nerd. damn it!! i wish i got mtv, at least that would've compensated my coolness level. we'll usually play from 8pm till 3am now. hahah. and then hit out to the worst mamak ive ever seen, and then drive back home alone. sigh, i wish i could hit the clubs here. never actually been in a club at all. never really liked it. but i do want to know what the scene is like, here in sabah.

but then again... although im always surrounded by so many people here... i always still feel alone. its just not... the mcGiffs, the RPIians... not you....

Blind....

A lot of people are blind... not physically... but mentally. they're not aware of what the main issue is about, and refuse to listen to whatever advice from a friend, whatever public announcement, whatever their hearts tell them. why? the first time round of doing that, sure, shit happens. but if it happens numerous times... a big middle finger to your face.

blind 1
Lately, i see a lot of blind people. first of all... Malaysian Idol. wow... Daniel huh? he can sing? sure he sings better than i do. but what about farah? what about nita? oh come on. and yes the majority vote comes from teenage girls who are head over heels over daniel's cute face. if they dont realize it already... let me tell you this... he is soooo gay. even if he isnt, he sure acts like one. sigh. there are so much more better people than him, why'd be ignorant, and let him represent World Idol.

blind 2
the past week, i had a privilage of swimming with a turtle. it kind of dawned me, when i was a kid, i was one of the ignorant kid who enjoyed the turtle eggs. nice slurp with some soy sauce... yummy!! but then, it was pretty hard to obtain for anyone who sold it would be fined or jailed atau kedua-duanya sekali. then the cravings just went away, and then conscience starts kicking in. these are endangered species, and we as humans, as individual have all the right to keep the turtles live, these beautiful creatures, who get to live up to 200 hundred years old where, if you think about it, not only you get to see it, your kids, your granchild, and even your great grandchild would have the chance of seeing these amazing beauties dance in the ocean, and go up land once every 2-3 years, and tear out their hardwork, and only hoping to see their spawns would travel the world and experience it as they did. however, some of these blind, bloody immigrants, would tend to dig up their eggs, and devour it, and then selling them at a very costly price. big time. regardless how the public denounce such act, and penalize others who do such mindless act, some people would still prefer to turn a blind eye, and take the risk, not caring what this world might lose one day....

blind 3
dont you think hiphop is overrated? strangely enough, my sisters do not enjoy hiphop. which is good. but i know, how most of current young generations, like nodding their heads to hiphop. and i am mostly talking about the eager young minds of our country. most hiphop lyrics, videoclips, still evolve around how you flash your blings, how your rims spin, how many asses you get to smack, and how many ladies get to play with your magic stix. kids... (i think its high time i call them kids)... please... pay attention to the lyrics. no matter how uncool i may get, these songs arent only offensive to women, but also to the public. but there are some great rappers there with great mind who create the rhymes that actually matters. kanye, eminem (well most of his songs is about killing his mom, but there are other rhymes that talk about hard living and struggles as a discrimanated white trash), BEP, Jay-Z (although some of his songs are still about rims, hoes, blings and what not). but then again, i guess, its a way for the african americans say 'you can now kiss my big black ass white people!!' just another way of having their debts repaid after 100 years of struggle for their people. so people, listen and understand the song that you're listening to. its worth the brain cells.

blind 4
love? depression? alone? yeap... these are other criterias that could actually make a person blind. and individual even with the most beautiful intellectual mind, would be blind from such occurences. you might be missing someone so deeply, madly, and yet the other doesnt even care what actually happens to you. you might be having a crush on someone for years and years, and tend to oversee what the person would want to treat you as actually... an object. you might be depress and clouded by your current job, current assingment, that you tend to oversee that your relationhship is currently crumbling. Even your life is actually sinking deeper into the quicksand with you not noticing with the abundant workpile, whole sea of loneliness drowning you if you dont get a grip on what is real, what actually matters, and that your friends are the ones who are actually there for you, and listen to you, and remember... your friends now the best, no matter how you think that they just dont understand what you feel.... worst comes to worst... He is always there, even if you dont notice. He may not seem to be there... but then, you're still breathing arent you? are you one of those people who had their homes crushed by big fat katrina? sigh... if only i could make myself listen to myself.....

DIVERS INC....

I've been dreaming of this moment probably half of my life, and ive been wanting it more than i could ever imagined when i graduated from RPI. It's one of the rush ive been looking for, the excitement, the danger, my testosterone list, and definitely one of my ways of viewing one of the things Allah has created on this earth. After three days of learning, adventure, sunburn, equalizing my ear, checking out asses as i come up the water from the beach, i have finally completed my courss to be an open water diver. and believe me my friends, insya Allah, i will not stop at open water. my next target is to be an Advanced Open Water diver FOR SSI, that way i could learn how to do a rescue dive, do night dives, and go to further lengths than an open water divers. and honestly, this are one of those times ive never been more confident. when i start work, i'll save money for one dive session at the end of the month.

my first day was boring, just intensive academic course, and sit down watch 5 looong VCDs and do quizzes and tests. it wasnt hard, but it was pretty tedious. but by the second day, things were starting to get pretty interesting. on the first day, i learned how to gear up my divng equipment, my air, my regulators, my BCD, and my favorite part of the whole gear, my wetsuit. honestly, there are only two types of clothing that i am not embarassed at all for wearing, and that is my Abada Capoeira pants, and my Wetsuit. heck, the wetsuit even made me feel like wolverine. aside the sixpacks and the whole cool beard, i was feeling pretty comfortable, and i could even float easily as the suit adds buoyancy. note to everyone, for my next birthday, please buy me a wetsuit, size LARGE. thanks. hehe.

the whole thing was alien at first, i had to start applying all the techniques from what i saw in the VCD, and it was actually quite easy. but i was never comfortable with the fact that i had to purposely fill my mask with all the salt water to simulate if the mask would cease to function properly. my eyes sting. but then things were just getting better and better. the next day was kick ass. we went in for 6-7 meters, and my instructor showed me this clownfish (the fish that was in NEMO), which he calls Mickey. Now mickey is a very cute fish. what happened was my instructor placed a pebble on his hand, and the mickey would start peeking out of his anemone, and looked at it. after that he'll take the pebble away, and place it on the ground. and he did it so many times as well. quite a rush. or so i thought. by the way, on my way to see mickey, my instructor grabbed an ikan sebelah or in english, flounder. i wondered how the hell did he see it. but man, ive always seen these creatures in documentaries. never knew i'd be experiencing it.

finally, during my final dive, at the early part, i saw something ive always wanted to see. a turtle. she was swimming by the corals, and man i was trying to catch it, but here, under the sea, im the turtle, and she's the hare. it was the best rush ive had in weeks. well actually the last rush as when i got to see the fireflies, but not as cool as this one. i was curious, looking aruond for barracudas. but sadly none, my next option would probably be diving at pulau tiga. the island where survivor season 1 was filmed. sigh. i wish i was diving again today, but probably my nitrogen level is high today. anyway... it was great. wish you guys were here....

by the way... im sooo gonna get you....!!!! hehehe. wish i'll be working soon..... sigh.

Membakut... an old style chinese outlet, pretty cool....


on the boat after first dive....


me, zurie (my nephew's cousin), and ben (guy from australia).....


on the way back on the first day.....


mr wolverine in my X-men suit....


me in my scuba gear....


my last dive, still estatic from seeing mister turtle and lil mickey....

What's Up....

For the past week, i've been going out a lot... going to CC's and finally let out the nerd i was when i decided to tuck him in 11 years ago. my days consists of online games, mainly Counterstrike, and amazingly... im getting pretty good at it. but still never that good in changing my weapon from primary to secondary as i reloading my primary. and damn it, i am not satisfied of last nite's game as me and my nephews ass got kicked by a bunch of nerdy kids who thinks they rock the CS world. as much as i hate to admit it, they're sooo good in organizing their strategies and attacks. very good teamwork. id say CS creates a leadership competency n oneself by interacting with his teammates and organizing what formation, or system they should encounter the problem. but then again, when the problem builds up and keeps on coming, the leader would also tell you to camp and get the damn wuss snipers....

here are some random thoughts ive thought about what i had the past week. strangely enough, ive heard in the radio that the malaysia is thinking of voting for the first malaysian astronaut via sms. WOW! that's soooo exciting!! might as well you put mawi in the run again and make people vote for him to go up the space next!!! oh COME ON ppl. dont you think the sms thingy has gone a lil too much? do you honestly want to do that to our country? what if you send the wrong person up to space? he or she could be the same case of what happened to War of The Worlds. their stupid RND screwed up on the fact that they cant drink the water on earth. this time its up to professional selection. brawns, intellectual skills are actually required to go up there. if i could vote sms, who should go up there in space, heck id vote for me. everyone wants to go up there right? we should tone this sms thingy down and just stick with singing competitions.

btw... im going scuba diving tomorrow my dear friends... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. selepas ini, udah memanggil aku irfan/ipeng... panggil aja aku ini... PENDEKAR LAUT.....

Random thoughts....

in my normal life as a single, unattractive, lonely sabahan, i kinda develop random thoughts so suddenly. so i'd share with you all my sudden random thoughts.

Reality Singing competition....

sigh... this season's malaysian idol sucks. big time. the singers are either not so good, or plain gay. in fact, i sincerely think, AF3 is waaaay better. and heck, mawi is waaay better no matter how much i cant force myself to actually like him. so yess... Malaysian Idol sucks. come on laa the best singers were voted at the first round. please laa people. vote them for talent. not face. sigh. but Rockstar: INXS... now THAT's a KICK ASS competition. they sing these old rock songs, and the fact that they RE-ARRANGE the songs themselves, well mainly their idea, and then write their own songs for the new episodes, they just blow me away all the time. and somehow, strangely im sooo attracted to jordis unga (and you have to say it fast). see that's what i dont understand. why does some of these rockstars have such cool names. some of them are real names. like jordis unga, MiG Ayesa, Dave Navarro, J.D, Brandon Boyd, Eddie Vader, Kurt Cobain, Eddie Van Halen, like dude... there's just sooo many more down the list. its so kick ass. if i was a rockstar, my name would be... hmmm Adrian Mode.... hehehe.

Healthy Eating

Man i can talk so much about this. as most of my friends know, im a freak when it comes to eating healthy... most of the time. nasi kalau bleh tak nak tambah... except when im invited for dinner i.e at dear ferr's. especially now being in malaysia, i rarely eat chicken. RARELY. nasi? kalau boleh nasihat saya kat korang sumer, kurangkan laa. not that im carb conscious or anything, but honestly rice has carbs and actually sugar content that could affect your health in the long run. also, kalau makan luar, mintak laa nasi separuh, kalau boleh mintak nasik suku pun, lagi elok. you see how much do they put rice on nasi campur? like a LOT. A LOT! you get fat just by eating all those rice! soda's? NO!! its NOT GOOD. especially kat malaysia nih. the sugar content here in a normal coke is actually higher than the states. TRUST ME. gatorade ke aper, like DAMN. sedey sial, since im a big gatorade lover. big time. but i had to force myself no to drink it when i arrived in malaysia. all i drink outside is warm water, with tea with no sugar. sad? yes... do i feel healthier... yeap. friends, ppl do actually die with heart attack at the age of thirty something now. please, cut down on sugar, cut down on teh tarik, cut down on fatty foods, try to eat healthier. sometimes i break my diet, but rarely. mainly because once in a while i know i have to pig myself out, because im a normal person. but then, health still matters to me. please friends... think... you are what you eat... and how much you eat.....

Cool if i was a VJ

it'd be soooo cool if i was an mtv VJ. heck if i made it to the final 5, i am already grateful. it'd be cool, to interview famous ppl that i adore myself, that i have celebrity crushes myself, and just meet new people all over the continent. be adventurous, and probably try starting my life as a host for travel and living like asha gill or jamie aditya. i dont even mind if it's something like warna2 malaysia. i'd definitely be adventurous, and heck, i'd jump in a big pile of bullshit if its a culture somewhere in africa. it'd be so funny to see reaction of ppl in KL to see me walk in with abe and faidz into a mamak with just pagoda shirt and a selipar jepun, and they'd whisper 'wey, to bukan VJ tuh ke? chet, tader laa hensem sgt pun. pakai pun rilek jekk'. it'd be a great experience to know that when i go to kedah, or sarawak, or sabah, peoeple would shout out 'VJ IRFAN!! DUUUUDE!!'. basically... its the life i want... basically... it'd be great to be a VJ. if only.....

Peti Ais....

wey... apsal peti ais kan, the freezer tuh... tader lampu? Apsal wey? ko bukak peti ais belah bawah, ada lampu, tapi biler kau bukak yang atas, tader lampu. apsal tak nak buat tuh ada lampu gak? aku pelik giler apsal. bongok punyer design saper yang start buat peti ais....

Family Guy....

haha... lawak sial. im going to download the fourth season. heck, i still watch the old ones on my DVD, and i still crack myself up. ALL THE TIME. his awkwardness, his idiocy, his ignorance, his family... a timeless CLASSIC.... and the baby? oh damn, who doesnt adore that little runt? i said runt....

Denise Kellar....

sigh... susah betol awek aku nih. comel sangat, pastuh kurus, tinggi, kiut, tapi tak call2 aku lagik. taper laa... sayang punya pasal... sabar jekk laa.
Denise Kellar....

Sappy songs....

very good... but just takes my soul away all the time... especially about being lonely, or being dumped, or bla bla bla. boo hoo. fuck off....

friends....

damn it... i miss you guys. i miss hanging out in Troy, with the whole lot of green teas, watching DVD on weekends, talking about problems, watching cheesy malay movies, gossiping... of course in a MANLY way. i miss hanging out in KL, and bitch about women, trying to get hot women, and why is it always the three of us hanging out at the same bloody place. those times... priceless.

well that's a lot of random thoughts... i'll return with more random thoughts in the future.....

Weekend of Getaway....

It started out where the night before, i was saying goodbye to my nephew and his cousin after 2 hours of counterstrike. his father owns a beach house in Binsuluk, which is after Bongawan, and before Membakut. or in layman terms, roughly about 2 hours from the town of Kota Kinabalu. So he invited me for a 2 days 1 night stay there where we'll be fishing most probably, and taking some of his mom's parent's around.

so the next morning, nicely packed, but only to realize i forgot my toothbrush when i was at my cousin's to wait for the others to meet up there. after a long wait and a long dull drive to binsuluk, i was amazed to find out it was a very big beach house, and really beside the sea, hence, the beach house name. after some lunch, i was already imagining myself fishing my ass of and laughing to myself thinking taroi would be so envious of me by now. hehe. but then my nephew told me we'll be going to see some proboscis monkeys. my eyes twinkled with excitement. if you dont know what a probscis monkey is, its actually an almost extinct species of monkeys, where their fur are brown, with red face, and this is what disinguish them the most compared to other monkeys. they have really long noses. btw, my nephew's mom's friends, turned out to be 2 Japanese volunteer sensei, and 3 other students. and i must say, i was brushing up with my ni hongo a LOT. hehe. loved it.

soshite, we went to see the monkeys, WHICH, was very very difficult, as we were not in the mangrove trees as they are. we were cruising in one small boat that my cousin owned and drove it there to the primates habitat. but before leaving, we dropped some binturs in the river. binturs are a 'bubu' version of crab catching system. pretty cool. so we drove to the monkeys habitat, and as we were cruising there, we saw some fishermen working hard in their boats to look for their halal rezeki. somehow that moment reminded me, how you know, when the boats drive by, in the movies, these locals would wave at random strangers and smile politely as if u were driving in a housing area where every knows you. and you know what? they really do DO that. i mean, they waved nicely as we pass by, and gave us honest smiles and nods. didnt think that was a fact until today. next thing i need to find out is whether african kids really do chase your car as you drive into their village. who knows, it might be true.

so we arrived at the mangroves, and like i said, it was really difficutl to see them, as they were jumping, running around behind thick mangroves trying to avoid contact from humans. but the second time when i saw them the next day, there was one monkey, who was sitting, red-faced, and stared at us curiously. at that time, i felt like i was jeff corwin or steve irwin explaining to the tourists the facts about the monkeys, the food that they eat, the defensive system, the hierarchy somewhat. only problem is, my knowledge was based on baboons that i watched from national geographic. eheheh. but they did almos the same thing. and their normal diet is very healthy, where they eat petai (like anyet, that's why she's a monyet), ulam, basically all bitter types of plants. and the monkeys only seem to go out around sunset by the river. probably like humans, they enjoy watching the sun setting in west.

that night, kondo sensei gave me the chance to wear a yu katta, a traditional summer casual attire for the japanese. and i must say, again, from my TV observation, i thought the reason they walked with small steps were just because of their culture. BUT as i turns out, the attire actually constrains one's movement and hence you can only take small fast steps if you're rushing to the groceries. eto, that nite, totemo yokatta desu yo.

i thought we were just going to retire for the night, only to find out later, we went kelip2 watching, or fireflies watching. i must say, it was so breathtaking. all we did was sit in the dark, by the docks at the river, and watch at fireflies that spark in the darkness on the mangroves' leaves, and they were like christmas trees that just sparkle in the middle of nowhere. i was looking up the dark sky and saw stars sparkle and looked down, and felt that the stars were down here with me and it was moving around probably mating, probably trying to look for something, and all i could say was... Subhannallah. it was great. later in the morning i could not imagine if the small lights in the distant in the forest were some potheads smoking some blunt and are amused by themselves and started waving their blunts around to entertain themselves with the light. hehehe. but it actually is fireflies, because i caught on, so rest assured.

the next morning, woke up at 5, and we started a boat ride again, this time not in the river, but to the middle of the sea. so i brought my fable fishing rod with me. we went to a 'bagang' where, it actually is man-made platform in the middle of the ocean on the deep waters, just right before it goes down all the way into darkness. the size of the bagang was roughly about a size of a family room, one might say like the room i used to have in colonie apartments. in the middle of it is a small pondok with a roof over it for the fishermen rest as they stay there and wait for schools and schools of fish. and i must say, there were a LOT of fish. i fished a lil but not for long because the tourists were getting bored. they probably dont know the value of fishing. heheh. and i must say, ive only casted like 6 times, and i got 1 fish. and that was only because i used a big hook on the first few times, and changed to a smaller one later. it was not much of a fight though, mainly because a barracuda had already injured the fish badly. and i must say, this weekend, i'll be going again insya Allah. huyeaah. i got to see the sunrise, and went back in the speed boat but through the river this time instead heading towards the that was beside the beach house. it was... breathtaking. all i ate there was fresh fish, fresh fish all over again. and it was so relaxing staring at the ocean and sip one cup of tea, and look how much ive been through in just one whole weekend. the feeling... priceless. later at night, as i was driving back, i was staring at the ocean in the darkness again, but was so amazed, where, like fireflies, lights were being lit up on the bagangs by the working fishermen, in the middle of the ocean. there were so many bagangs along the coastal line of the west side of sabah up ,until the end of daerah Bongawan. like fireflies, like vegas, heck vegas lights cant compare to what i experienced the past weekend......

on a barge heading to Kuala Penyu


on a boat to see Proboscis Monkeys. (no pics for monkeys though, google it up. so hard to snap the camera)....


Pakcik Puteh, the guide to our tour, while pakcik eddie was manuvering the boat....


Kondo Sensei to Watashiwa (yukatta o hakimasu) to Amy San, to Asaka sensei.....


The crew....


an example of a bagang....

hush....

yes... its been almost two months now since ive been in Malaysia, where, 1 month and 1 week i spent in peninsular, where 3 weeks of it i spent so sooo happily in KL. and frankly, in a MANLY-ish way, i miss the manly bonding of talking about unsolvable problems at mohsin, secret recipe, hartamas, nasi lemak ganja and all other food joints the trio can actually find.

so ive written about serious issue, and thus im moving to a less serious issue, which is.... okay im thinking about it... thinkiiiing.... not there yet, okay im lost. need a break for a sec.

so, its my best buddy's bday, and hope you enjoy your present, and sorry i cant be there to celebrate it with you as i always did in the past two years. but hope you loved the online flowers as well as the real ones. i dont know exactly where we're heading now. but i hope its somewhere better than where ive been the whole year.

hmmm... i still cant figure out any unserious topic. i could talk about myn's blender :P, but i dont have one. well one thing i have a great attachment to now. is my pick up truck. id wash her almost everyday. take her for some slow drive, and just enjoy giving smoke up jackasses who thinks they're bagus. then just crank up the mp3 player, and lay back and relax while i look straight in the ocean while wearing my ray ban's aviator. the car is so cool that id just smile and frankly i dont mind spending the night in the truck itself. i maybe have too much attachment to this car huh?

time for me to shadaaaaap

Corruption Junction, What is your function?

So, since i dont have as much activity as i would have in KL, i will then again start my ramblings. ~Boombiddy buzzing in headphones~> thus one of the unsolvable issues where people my age talk about in coffee shops or mamaks these days is the Corruption issue. yes i am usually weirded out by the fact why is our country one of the most coruppted countries in this world. and as sucky as it may sound, the one of the most corupted groups are the ones who enforce the law in this country, and the ones who actually rule our people. These groups of people should be a good example to normal citizens, but instead, they harrass us with blackmails, threaten us physically and mentally, and sometimes tend to do the same to the closest people around us. What is sad is the fact that this country is one of the third world muslim countries which is advanced, both technologically and culturally, and supposedly a country that practices Islam. With those attributes, the nation is automatically an example to most growing countries around the world. But with this attributes, how could we actually make a difference? with the strong corruption vibe in our environment, normal citizens also evolves into cavemens with very little moral values. hell, even the coffees paid in coffee shopes or mamaks by some people are for their 'duit kopi'. nak catch up konon, tup2 they're just trying to pay for the people's break time so they could actually sneak in some tight security so that they could get some really classified documents and leak it out to the public. i had roughly the same chat with En. Hatim, who i must say not only looks like a man with principal, but also acts it. he stresses out the fact how young accountants can be way much richer than he is now, although he has been in the accountant business for such a long time. yet he refused to take part in the 'trend' mainly because he knows if he would have done so, the education, the food, the roof that he has to offer his family, would be haram. as simple as that.

but basically from my own analyzation, money talks. as long as you dont start doing it, you'd be okay. but once you do, you know money flows to you like diarheaa. it just keeps coming. and you know the only way to stop it is true heavy medication, strong mental, and lots of tea. ( i dont know if drinking a lot of tea can actually help you stop corruption but i know it definitely works with diarheaa.) hopefully one day this is an issue that i dont need to be involved with, but if only the world is perfect. sigh. i think what actually matters right now, is our own values and how we take care of it....


@ Rexona "IT WONT LET U DOWN!!" (screamin it out till your throat tears).

1 month holiday.....

wow... now im back in luvly sabah. muahahah. after 1 whole month spending time away from home. i was only like 2 weeks in sabah, and was supose to spend only 10 days in KL. but muahahah... with some twist and turns, i was in langkawi for two weeks, and came back to KL for another week. i must say, thank you abe, faidz, fera, and sung who made my stay in KL heavenly. strangely enough, im probably hunted by bfs from around KL. muahahahha. no2 not really. tuh perasan namanyer. (right now listening to jammin' by bob marley).

so some recap of what did i do during my stay in peninsular. well one thing mainly.... BORA OMBAK. muahahahah. sigh. im missing that place already. such a cool place to chill, lay back, aaand relax. thanks ferr. muahahaha. and really really lay back and relax. while i puff away my first ever CUBAN cigar. hahaha. adik2 jangan merokok, tak baik utk kesihatan. tapi curut elok lagik, coz "cigar you dont inhale, you puff... it's style and class"... (from the words of a manager in havana club). anyway, back to BORA OMBAK. it was such a nice place to chill, especially with the nice ambience, setting, and quite nite to just relax with our pantuns kicking along. about pantuns, man, ive been doing that a lot during my stay in KL. muahaha. kat KL, kat bora, kat kedai mamak, kat keta Abe... yeap... sgt menarik.

Also, went to hani's party. i thought i would see some hot looking chicks there. yes i did. but mostly really snobbish. peh. but i must say, i hate fraternities BIG TIME, but damn it, i was such a frat boy during my stay in KL. hahaha. saksikan Rexona "No Sweat Challenge" episode 7 - 9, setiap selasa, jam 7.30 malam, di TV3. hehe. but seriously, what is up with malaysian audience? very attentive. come on, hype it up a little. like insturactor Furacao stresses, 'energia, energia, camaradas...'.

went to watch AF with abe and faidz while seeing faidz cry... priceless. muahahaha. well most of the time, it'll just be the three of us, me abe, faidz, chillin somewhere in KL, eating, smokin, and makan nasi lemak waterfall. hahah. so good. and like most of the time, itll just be testosterone, talking why the hell are we single, or just listening to someone talk about some girl... i wonder who. hehehe. and again... in a manly bonding way. very manly.

also, went to audition for MTV VJ. hahahah. sigh. hopefully dapat, if i got it, damn it son, it'd be such a rockin time. i could do shows with my dear denise... sigh. she is soooooo hot. period. with the skinny hips. it was like whoa. and she's like sooooo sweet. and ah man... i was seriouly on cloud 9 that day. that was like the only time in peninsular that i had that feeling. man. on that day. she's like.... sigh... tatau nak explain camner. my idea of THE GIRL. hahaha.

btw, arituh masuk TV... 3R. okay... i SUCKED. things just went blur, i wish i had more preparation, i didnt know that she'd be asking immediately after the movie. i couldnt even re-organize my thoughts. aah... blarggh... dah lepas. like did anyone even see it?

went out with Ili, i must say, (in thick english accent), smashing good time. and ungu violet... just so sweet. but then again, now i hate romantic movies. because they potray all that sweetness that someone should do to get a girl, or basically some media bullshit, saying its not that hard to get a girl. BULLSHIT. it just pisses me of because reality is NOT like that. NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. there's more back stabbing, cheating, heck even complaining about they're significant other to they're friends. one word... BONGOK. okay... let's put that topic in one box, and throw it away into the sea.

well kalau panjang sangat tader orang baca kot, but anyway, a great time, i didnt come back with any aquantainces, but i know i came back with the thought of satisfaction being able to chill with my great friends for the last time, before we all start going on with our lives.... to abe, may you have a great semester overseas, to fera dearest, hopefully i'll see you again in the future as prettier as ever, to faidz, may you grow taller when we meet again, to sung, may you become a family man with your new work, and to others... may we meet again sometime in the near future... definitely......

This sucksss....

so, its been a week im here in Malaysia. and right now, im already wishing i could get a job ASAP. honestly, it sucks. back in states, i have my own place, my own car, if i travel, i could easily commute in my own car. kalau travel, if i need a place to stay, senang jek. but here, its not what it used to be, back before i went to the States. now all my buds are grown up, and working. segan nak kacau. sigh. it sucks growing up. wishing i could be an indian TA teaching Heat Mass Transfer in RPI. back in RPI, i could just chill with the guys in front of the TV, and i must say, lay back and flow like old times in 201. boleh dgr ellias bercerita pasal life, pastuh tengok TV lagi, main chess lagi, pastuh bleh kuar tengok movie, chill with my friends. CHILL!! sigh. this is.... depressing....

Jalut... Si Tukang Urut.....

Obsession....

I've been here 5 days, and i could not stop noticing the banner, the advertisements, the articles regarding the 'BEST'show ever made in Malaysia. Akademi Fantasia!!! YEAAAY!! best giler weyy!! mawi tuh, nyanyi best, felix tuh kelakar giler wey!! lagu dierang nyanyi sangat laa hebat, pastuh dierang nih memang berkaliber.

first of all... for those who didnt get it... i call this sarcasm. secondly, those are the only two people that i know of, because ive heard felix's name coming out of my TV set in a commercial for nothing other but, of course Akademi Fantasia. As for mawi, i saw his name on the front page of berita minggu, and the endless flooding on the chatbox at astro's channel 15. check it out if you havent. it's a great representation of what our malaysian culture is. full of wonders, excitement, and supportive spirit. so full of it, that you may actually throw your remote towards the TV screen so it would stop. and while you're at it, you would probably purchase a rocket launcher from E-bay, and blast off the satelite dish that gives all the audience the great touching diari.

Yes, this time there are sabahans again, as it was last year. i would want to say im proud, but honestly, ive had it. i want to watch akademi fantasia, but yes, i've had it. not because of the show, not because the corporate bullshit i have againts astro's connection with maxis, but just maybe.. i think, and this is probably 90% maybe (i can come up with bullshit statistic too, just to make sure i can convince my readers), i think, somewhere inside me, and god help me, that i think, just MAYBE, is what clear minded invdividuals composed of 'ramai penonton2 belia' also think, the reason i refuse to watch AF, or most people who hate AF, is mainly because of the extreme obsession of AF BY the fan themselves.

there are more important issues to be concerned of in this world, if ur into current issues, you'd probably know that now at least 4 suspects have been identified of pakistani descendants who are also british citizens. if ur into something like sports, you'd probably know right now in the US is the beginning of baseball season, and you should start putting on your Red Sox hat and hope they win another world series just to show that they were always the best team in the 'world' where the past years of many2 games they were ALMOST the best team in the 'world'. if ur into economics, well... then you should try read the wall street journal, or read forbes, coz i dont really know what's current issue on that one. but then there's entertainment. now... AF is in the entertainment business. but dear readers, it is SUCH a BIG impact towards our lives. if we dont watch AF, i could actually hear someone crying out loud 'why oh why is AF not on the air? bodoh nyaaaa' yess... memang bodoh... pasal kau pi obsessed sgt.

if im not mistaken even datin sri hendon is irked by the fact that our community, harapan bangsa, are just way too obsessed with something that is just so trivial, that doesnt really motivate an individual to study, to trigger their minds and actually become an entrepeneur for our rising nation. damn im getting to myself. but honestly people, fans actually fight just to give a stand that AF is way better than Malaysian Idol, or fight their way through a throng of crowd with their kids (heck even a baby) in their arms just to grab that 10 ringgit ticket, so they can scream out 'Felix!! bangga aku bah!!' or 'Mawi!! ko idola ku!! ko nyanyi paling sedap sekali!!' compile all the CD's and actually be proud that you have all those episodes, even from season 1, and memorize their stats, AND the fact that you're over 30 with one kid, or heck even in the 20s, to be overly obsessed with such show. Im sorry dear AF fans, but honestly, a line must be drawn. there is a line between loving it, and obsessing about it. if u find that you wake up the next day, watching each and every reruns of AF, and getting constantly AND overly pissed by your favorite's dismissal, AND, you're over 20, please, PLEASE give ur self a REALITY CHECK!

okay, im sorry, but that's what i think. nak tengok, sila, heck i think after this entry, i'm probably going to watch some of it, just to know who's who, so i can actually cope with what's what, and if some people actually come up with these characters as an analogy, or heck even in spur of the moment topics in meetings, i think i have the right to know some of it than just being too ignorant. but please please PLEASE remember, tolong laa berkadaran, and just dont get way too obsessive about it. my family has actually stopped being way too obsessed about it, and alhamdulillah. the only thing they watch is the concert, which is only once a week, and dont even bring up the topic to the dinner table. very satisfied already.

20 years from now, these guys would probably be in a malaysian version of Surreal Life, and someone who is an equivalent to Da Brat would actually just say it to his or her face... 'dude... you're a HAS BEEN. PERIOD. you could've done better if you were doing real estate business.'

so dear fans, please PLEASE, give yourself a check to find out if you are OBSESSED with AF, or you just LIKE AF.

Thank you.....

(amazingly, im writing this in a pissy mode, and i have not cursed one bit. fuckin strange... hehe)