wait, i can do this.... sorry what was i supposed to do again?

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Rempit of Ramadhan....

I remember how i used to say what the hell is wrong with these rempits seriously. riding their bikes without any care of their well being nor their passenger or how it may affect their loved ones so badly. yes... i do not understand how these rempits find exhiliration in looking stupid in which i usually think its just a stupid stunt to waste their lives on something so dangerously idiotic.

however... i take some part of it back. the rest of my life, i could actually count how many times have i rode a bike as passenger (yes... i dont knw how to ride a motorcycle... you got a problem with that?). since before ramadhan... i think i've rode on a bike probably like 5 times? one of them was an easy rider... so that's like a given factor gempaksss to the max la. that's it. but since its ramadhan and my alim housemate usually does his terawih full, i decided to try my best to join him as well. and well... he goes on a motorcycle. dear god... the adrenaline rush... awesome. hahahaha. and when it speeds up... you could feel the windchill factor just coating you up and just giving you a nice breeze of spring. and the fact that i wear a kopiah only instead of a helmet and kain pelikat... just pushes it up another notch. hahaha. yes... im the rempit of ramadhan. i still stand by my words though... how major KL rempits deserve a smack on their faces till they go silly and pass out for most of the stupid things they do just to piss off everyone in KL.

My past ramadhans....

I'll always remember...
the time of my early puasa as a kid, i just started writing a diary... and somehow... my mom read it... and corrected the grammar. it was one of the biggest embarassment of my life, felt quite pissed that day.

I'll always remember...
I almost had a full puasa as a kid when i was around standard 4 i think... but then on the the nite of the announcement of puasa, my closest cousins from langkawi came, as usual it was havoc, and everyone skipped puasa knowing the next day was not raya sadly. i lasted only until around 10am. my dad was the only person left who was fasting. felt so bad not eating with my dad on the table, he invited me to eat with him since he probably needed a friend. i was just too embarassed for skipping.

I'll always remember...

my first puasa in boarding school, where the seniors one morning for our sahur, i woke up ontime, only to find my sandals were missing. and then every form 1 students sandals were actually missing. we only found out like 10 minutes after looking for our sandals, our seniors used our sandals to make writings three storeys below... of 'Selamat Hari Raya'.

I'll always remember...

how me and like 40 of my schoolmates, for our last puasa in high school, on the last day of school before raya holidays, we went from one room to one room of every junior, woke them up like hell crazy. banged on their lockers, we grabbed the four corners of a bed of a kid, and just shook it until the kid falls off the bed while shouting 'WWWOOOOII SAHUUUUUUUR LAAAA!!!'. i bet they were fucking pissed. the neighbouring school thought we had a riot.

I'll always remember...
how me and my uniten buds wanted to bukak pose in Mines, only to be stuck in traffic during bukak pose. luckily faqar brought some dates ke gula2 ntah. so we had something to bukak pose with. this guy in another car had to bukak with korek hidung.

I'll always remember...

my first puasa in Scotland... it was seriously... like nothing at all. wake up around 5 am sahur... tido.. bangun, tengok tv, main game,pick up my sister at 2 - 3 pm, 345 pm... bukak dah. best giler.

I'll always remember...

my first puasa in US. when we were taking our Sahur compliments from the Dining Hall (oh dear god i forgot what's the name of the dining hall!!), our bags were named 'Rama & Dam food'. I think the ignorant americans thought Ramadhan was like an indian god Rama & Dam kot. bongok giler.

How can i not forgot also, that was the time of my first Thanksgiving Shopping there. Abe and Todi makan McD... yes during puasa. BUT... i should've joined them actually. Malas nak bayar punya pasal tuh jekk. because... i found out actually... memang Harus. sesetengah Mazhab mengatakan Harus nya umpama hampir dgn Wajib tapi tidak jika musafir. hehehe. so abe and tod mmg tak salah la. dierang bayar ke tak tuh tak tau laaa. heheheheehhe.

bersahur with joey dgn burger liat & sejuk from the dining...

walking in the thick thick snow with hishamuddin looking for my freakin car to go to the masjid for bukak with the muslim brothers. damn it was a struggle.

bersahur dgn taroi kat tempat pizza tuh with all sorts of food that'll make you FAT!! oh and enjoying some turkish made food... well that's what the turkish guy said... but he made the food with marinara, chicken spiced up with parsley, basil and oregano. then bread that's made of the pizza dough. and he claims it turkish-ish. ntah laa.

one of final days of bukak pose, went to Julie's place, and redah all their food sent by the parents, or even made by them. yes... very good indeed. back then boleh laa... now... really have to take care of what i eat. cepat sakit weyy.

Our bukak pose with the gang... in Chinese buffet dekat Latham. yes... i miss that. so much. the laughter... todi yang makan tak control, ferr's cute tersangkut2 laughter, abe's sarcastic jokes, sung's blurriness, mary's dialogue that will always go with 'Serious weyyyy'.

I'll always remember...

My first puasa in KL after the states... sahur with faidz kat mana ntah tempat tuh. went out to watch four brothers... met lili there the first time. oh well citer dah lama. moving on now. my first bukak pose with faidz with his family and damn the mom cooks good. and my first bukak pose at San Francisco Steak house. i dont think we went maghrib prayers did we dude? hahahah. abis tuh straight pi main bowling.

I'll always remember....
being the Rempit of Ramadhan... going back and forth to the surau as a pembonceng, and during the whole ride... will suddenly phase out... and think of what I've done in this life to make it worth it so far... and how to make it worth it.

Seriously... i dont think i've done enough for others... especially for the community of those who needs the attention more. rather than spend my money this ramadhan eating out for bukak... i should do something with it... that benefits these group of ppl. i just... really... need to do something.... please God... give me the chance.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

99 problems... and a bitch is probably like erm.. 1%?

i'm not jay-z enough to have no problems of any girls at all. but seriously i think... jay-z has 99 problems... of course... a bitch isnt one of it. BUT, i think he has 100 problems... and that 1 problem... is a bitch. but technically she's not a bitch since he probably loves that overrated beyonce so much. hence... she's not the problem. so THAT's why its 99 problems....

right now... staying here in bintulu... im feeling empty. seriously. im okay during the day time since i keep myself occupied. but, when im not occupied... i start thinkin a lot. i honestly know... this Health Safety Environment thingy is bullshit to me. i mean... okay... i went to 2 trainings and 1 conference... im tellin you... i see ppl who are very excited and passionate and talking or giving formulas to memorize that regulations and all. you know what i think though? i think they're just a bunch of suckups, phonies, that i seriously need to smack them in their faces and tell them to get a fucking life. yes... that ran through my head. till now. however, i know i cant blame them... they love what they do. they have passion. regardless how the person is a silent type or what... if the person has passion in what their doing... they'll excel. seriously. they'll probably climb up to corporate ladder BS without any slips and fall.

as for me... i know ive been disliking what ive been doing since i started learning it. chemistry... really not my cup of tea. law and regulations... seriously... leave it to the dorks and nerds in the lawyer-ing world. as for me... please.. i need ppl's reaction, readings of interesting materials, figuring out what another person is thinking, figuring out the background of a company, to have the satisfaction and results of them putting their trust in me.

must i succumb to the mishaps of another and say 'dunia itu kejam' and basically wants everyone else who's having the same problem as he is to be miserable. i dont know if corporate malaysia is ready for the new vocalized generations of malaysia. a more positive, stronger group of individuals who will do something about something if they think something should be done. ignorance of us... MY generation... i would say... will prove detrimental to them. we just need guidance. to make them all... understand... who we are... what our thoughts are... and how we can improve in the malaysian way of thinking.

well... besides all that talk... lately i find myself listening to mellow songs because its really nice to listen to. mostly norah jones and joss stone. lately... i find myself... occupying my daytime... trying not to drown myself in the seas of emptiness and sadness, but once i get back... i find myself... contemplating all sorts of shit. being in such predicament really sucks big time. yes... i do think im stronger now. but... in this part of my life rite now... there's much more to worry about than just girls or getting A's for exam. i start worrying... about my life... my future. to succumb without any effort... would deem pointless and imprudent. wondering... most of the time... how did i tangle myself in such a web, and struggling more would just result in tiring myself... and just sucks the life more out of me. i really need to do something... something big. not just lying down in front of the tv thinking of the what if's.

Monday, September 18, 2006

its not the best day to die....

so yeaps... as i was getting out of the car suddenly i dont know why... i thot... damn what have i accomplished in my life so far? heck, let's just go for the day. i woke up. subuh, then got ready for work, napped on the couch waiting for my housemate to get ready, went to work, which.... most of the time, i was just preparing for tomorrow's Health Workshop and basically went through names and typing their stupid name tags which i think honestly, they're better off be written by the participants themselves with a magic marker, had lunch, met Dr Sher the career leadership counselor (most of you know him from AF2 as the counselor), then went home not feeling any better, went out with the guys, which at the same time turned out to be a gay-ish nite since 2 guys wanted to do a haircut while me and my other friend just wanted to chill, but since we hate to wait, we had our haircut as well. so basically 4 guy friends facing mirrors, reading a magz. yupps. gay-ish. but we're confident of our straight sexuality. so... im cool. ate sugar bun (not exactly the best fast food chain around), then jamming, and finally came back to write this entry.

no accomplishments at all. damn if i were to go at this moment. it'd be really sad and depressing. i really i hope ive accomplished some stuff, something that changed ppl, that strengthen the new generations, and they'll say something like, 'abg irfan tolong kiterang nih nak sampai where we are'. sheeesh. i wonder what can i do. sad sad world i live in if i have not achieved any positive accomplishments at all.

btw... went to a gala dinner last nite. was trying out this new style i looked up from a website. dont know if its cool.

finished reading freakonomics... genius writing and thinking. currently reading my new book... Confessions of an Economic Hitman/span>.... damn good so far.

view of le meridien of i wish i shared with someone....

Gala dinner with Sara....

Faqar n I....

hot Prem and I....

Friday, September 15, 2006

weird... weird... weird....

so yes... it has been a truly weird, mixed feelings moments of the month. probably, even the quarter of the year. i dont really like to write down my feelings which i may think personal and intruding. so... in the words of Will Smith in bad boys 2, 'we'll put it in this box, lock it, and throw it into the ocean... where no one could ever find it'.

back to reality... the conference... okay... ive been hotel hopping unintentionally. ahahah. from sunway lagoon resort, to berjaya times square, to faidz's house, to le meridien. and damn... out of ALL the hotels... ALL the hotels that ive stayed in ever this has to be the best... from the facilities, to the breakfast, to the DAMN AWESOME ROOM (which i will be posting the pics soon), to the hotel ambience that's filled with scented candles. yes... this is THE BEST. THE BEST. I cant imagine what Hilton would actually look like. Last time, le meridien, i got a small room. somehow, now, im on the 'Starwood preferred guest list'. im like... DAMN SON!! for the price, compared to hilton... this is BREAKFAST INCLUSIVE. awesome. the bathroom siap lengkap dgn pemancut jubur. mmg bagus... layan jekk berak. yes... if u stay here... please make a point to crap as much as u can. OH yeah... and also... the fucking view... seriously... for my room... is like overlooking KL... and im like.... whoaa. simple as that... whoa. just made me wish that i could share it with someone. =). aaawwww. sappy tak? well fuck you guys. HAHAHAHA.

i did a lot of wall climbs this time. got into a nice conversation with this adorable canadian girl who works there and leaving for thailand to teach english next week. she told me she just graduated, doing anthropology of culture, and rite after graduation, she got a job here in Camp 5 OU (the wall climbing place), then she got a job to teach with all living expenses paid in thailand, and then after that she'll go to new zealand to work at the outdoors stuff there. before this, during summers, she spent her time in africa working teaching english, doing research on cultures and what not. after all this, she's thinking of going to barcelona to continue her masters, coz apparently in her major, only masters get good jobs. but anyhoo... during listening to all that... im like... wow... she's non muslim, she young, she's cute, but she's accomplished so much more than i ever did. staying in communities that are hard to reach, actually educating them to make a difference.... i have not met, a young malaysian person, around my age, who has made THAT much difference. i think im around too much glamour. too much brand conscious individuals, which made me a brand conscious person too. i think i shud start changing that.

honestly, if im not bonded at this age... id definitely want to go to these job opportunities, exposing myself to different cultures, hidup susah, struggle, and open up my eyes... that some ppl... just dont get the glamour aspect of life... but they compensate... with growing up with family, friends, and hardships. no ghetto shit... just livin.... how i wish... i was given... a one whole year opportunity of making a difference... id try my best to do it to every different group of ppl. regardless their religion, skin color, political views, or watever.

im happy with my selekehness, my surfer dude style, and honestly... i think... its high time i hang my collared t-s... and wear them only for meetings... and revert back to my old hippie self.... slightly toned down... only reminscing of the flowing stuff.... all i need is my health, my great friends, my family, my religion... and myself... and grow up.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Litturu Tokyo desu....

note:this is a loooooot of writing. baca sket2 satu hari satu segment cukup la. tak yah la redah sumer.

Well... it was a week of mixed feelings, from slight pressure, to being all oblivious not giving a care in the world, to happy, to sadness and now back to static boredom and about to go oblivious all over again.

work sucks... like usual. I seriously think there's so much more meant for me than what i'm currently doing. The past two three weeks, when i went to training, i see how some people are quite enthusiastic in sharing their personal experience in the training relating to the job I'm doing, but all i can see in their faces are blaas, and yadaaas, and i think they're just a bunch of phonies that deserves a drop kick from me. actually, they dont deserve a drop kick from me. its just that, you know, you're at that point thinking, why in the rush of us being audited (we're gonna be audited by SIRIM btw for our ISO renewal BS), I'm not feeling one drop of panic but i'm doing my job, really, what was told to do, I've mostly am 3 - 4 steps advance than they could. not because I'm passionate, or enthusiastic, just that, I hate last minutes, i hate BS from top mgmt, i hate dealing with my work which involves with a LOT... A LOT of legal BS. no numbers, no technicality, none whatsoever from the thing that I've learned 5 years ago.

I've started to accept the fact that... life's a bitch few months ago. and I really feel that being a bitch back to it is the best way initially. but, it turns out... life's much more stronger that a person is. all i can say is... i wish for something different for generations after me. i wish them to have a better clarity, better view, better understanding of the future, and what they might be doing or handling in the future, and tell them... 'when you actually get what you wish for, you'd probably get much more than you can handle'.

Talk about patriotic....

Talk about patriotisme in Malaysia and all. on our merdeka nite, i was sitting on the couch with my friends watching silent hill, and paused it for 2 minutes just to wait for everyone to shout merdeka and sing the national anthem, WHICH, btw, we just flipped the channel 2 quarters of the song and continued with Silent Hill the movie.

what happened along the way for malaysians? of course, yes, given a code red situation, i'd say everyone would connect just like that and do anything they can for the country regardless race, political preference and religion. but rite now, everyone is very complacent, and not seeing, appreciating how far malaysia have grown. sadly, honestly, i'm probably one of them. yes, malaysia came up with the tallest building in the world once, and trying to break world records by records (some of them i'm sorry to say, are very unnecessary and would only put malaysia on the wall of the freaks), having a multi large corporation that has saved malaysia's business so many times and actually IS generating like 3/4 of Malaysia's revenue. But still, I'm seeing stuff in a different picture. why? why? why? I'm not an anti government guy (to my friends who are in the opposing party, sorry, but frankly, i dont actually give a fuck about politics), but i just cant accept the fact that Malaysians can actually be much better, but they're all just really too comfortable, too stable, too complacent. either that... my work has actually gotten to my head and im not actually having any passion at all to be anything close to patriotic. i seriously hope, that i was never bonded, and i could go do something else after i graduated from uni. something... different... something... ME. it's just not rite.... this sucks.

Talk about marriage plans....

okay... i'm not planning to get married. seriously. so what im about to say doesnt reflect me making any plans to get married in the very near future. but, since between the age of 24 - 27 is probably the season of where my friends are getting married, suddenly, out of randomness, i wanted to know how can they actually afford getting married?? so i went around an electronics store, and i calculated, for basic electrical appliances (TV, fridge, stove, washing machine, kitchen appliances), it would be around RM 13K. okay. let me put it more nicely....

Basic electrical appliances: RM 13,000
Bed room Set : RM 6,000
Living room set (furniture): RM 7,000
Kitchen Set : RM 3,000

so that totals up to RM 29,000 rite? yeaps... you could probably afford it. WAIT. That's just the stuff for marriage. you have to include the Wedding Day (or DAYS depending on your preference), AND the Hantaran.

So, that's like RM 40,000 for a hotel reception, for the wedding day... rite? i think? or am i underestimating? then there's RM 20,000 for the hantaran. seriously, i NEED to know, to ladies out there, what is the 'just nice' range for a wedding ring? if i got married to ferr she said she'd go for RM 5 - 7 K. is that habib? T&C? cartier? i'll try hard ferr, but for the time being, u have to settle for my handsome looks :P. if i got married to Sza2, she said RM 2 - 3 K. if i got married to atiee, she's a biiit difficult, she has to ask around she said. what if she asked anak sultan? mati weyyy matiiiiii. :P missin all the girls confidants i have. im seeing varieties here. so please, ladies, men, feedback please.

SO, basically... that totals up to RM 89,000. Let's say la ada other stuff, like special wedding potrets, aaaaaalll that blaaas. so let's just mark up the price to RM 100,000. SO, i wonder, how the hell can some people afford getting married at an early age?? unless

1. dah kumpul duit since 15 tahun... mmg baik punya planning
2. Keje kat US/UK. damn it... u guys are verrrry luckky.
3. their dad's are a colombian drug dealer. My dad is, so yes, i'll be getting married tomorrow.
4. they're a freakin trust fund babies

So... how can ppl get married early? HOW??? please, tell me, did i overestimate? nih tak masuk beli rumah and all that shaits lagik. kawin nak amik loan... just seems so wrong... and scary. burning all that cash for one whole day. for those who are already married, congrats... for those about to, please tell me.

WARNING: I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED ANYTIME SOON!! i can never afford getting married early, plus... damn im enjoying 'single' status life now. 'single' as in isi borang tanya kawin atau bujang, ko isi single. gf mmg ada la. so anyway... yes... i have no plans getting married. target... 30yrs old... i panic. 33 yrs old, i'll just tadah with what i have... i think. sooooo getting married early... NOT FOR ME.

Talk about sabah....

well... went back to KK to actually celebrate my dad's 50th bday. it's been a while since i went home, and when i left for bintulu today, i was actually really sad. i havent had that family time for a while. yesterday played scrabble with the family, which, btw, i just found out En Mahmud aka my dad is damn good at it, and uses psychoanalysis stuff to actually throw you off from the game. dirty trick for an old man. hehehehe.

the second day i was there... i did something i really missed during my unemployed days in kk. i went joggin barefooted on KK's sandy beach. damn i miss it. i went to ganu... but still... it cant top kk. i dont know why. maybe because it's home? but i think seriously... KK has much more view to offer. i love kk so much.

had dinner at this one nice place for his bday (my treat btw!) with the whole family. seriously... KK is getting more awesome everyday!! Sorry mcgiffs but i really am starting to think to settle down in KK. with occasional visits to KL though. heheh. the restaurants are getting classier, and yes... its nice. didnt have any pressies for dad, but had a nice dinner (my treat again btw!) and laughter and all. damn i miss family time.

went to centerpoint, kk shopping mall, and damn it... i bought something unnecessary. i seriously think im suffering a quarter-life crisis. i wanna buy stuff that i couldnt afford or never had as a kid or a teenager. i just bought a freakin adidas sweater that's very costly. not gonna tell u how much. but DAMN.... big regret. but when i wear it, i just try to forget it, because... the sweater IIIIIS nice!! but damn it... mahal giler... shit... must wear it now. plus... need to buy a lot of pressies this month. byk sangat bday orang in one go. my dad + anyet, my sweetheart lili's, and mom's. damn shudnt have bought that sweater. tapi cantiiiiik weyyyy. plus i havent shopped for unnecessary stuff for myself for a looooooooooong while. last time i did that was damn... i cant remember. march? i think? damn that's long.

then late nites, hung out with my KK entourage, which was fun, hilarious, as always. and again... the clubs are awesome, and dear god... the ladies... THE LADIES... i see much more hotter girls in KK these days than in KL!! maybe because i only went out to the wrong places in KL. but yes, KL, after office hours and lunch time.. is THE time to check them out. but... KK... damn... i say DAAAANG!! but yes... im in love with my gf. she's from KK too.

well... hopefully i get to go to KL again this weekend. seriously. pleaaaase la. wanna go wall climbing so much.

BTW... pizha... HAPPY BUNCIT BDAY!! (she has the same bday has my dad too.)

that's a LOOOOOT of writing. enjoy the pics.

jogging by the beach... atiee... jangan jeles....

again atiee... jangan jeles.... but yes... i am a lonely sap joggin by the beach alone without any companion. a big L-O-S-E-R to me.

happy bday dad....

yes yes i look like an autistic child...

nice restaurant... called TaTu. Mcgiffs, you guys should come to KK seriously. we'll rock it all out.

Family minus 1. when my other sis comes, i'll treat the family again. so far never treated them as a whole.

nice huh?

yes yes... perasan hensem... wutever....

happy bday dad!! again... u dont look 50 btw. and i hate it when i walk with my dad to shoppin malls, and ppl ask, am i his little brother? so wrooong.

my new adidas tokyo sweater... ding ding ding... fast and fuuuriooosss (teriyaki boys song. did it sound/read rite?)

scrabble and family....

romi's girlfriend... believe it or not... she's the key to a LOT of hot ladies in KK. FOR REAL. and not just any hot ladies... the unduk ngadaus and beauty pageants. SERIOUS.

Salmi's bday.... damn miss hanging out with them.... cant wait for raya!!

me and my nephew... tokyo stairu des yoooo....

ija's bday 2 years ago. it was a surprise bday party, that she forced me to tell her that there's a surprise party for her. merajuk nombor satu... macam budak2.