wait, i can do this.... sorry what was i supposed to do again?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Lineweaver, Hanes-Wolf, Non-linear....

I've been working hard last night... so, so hard. but not hard enough to keep me awake. woke up pretty early... dapat semayang subuh... felt... different. good different. i've heard from someone, kalau tak semayang subuh, usually hari kita takkan fulfilled. hopefully it will today, and starting to feel it is. Worked on my project and lab, both of them due today and tomorrow respectively. but 'technically' i cant finish the lab tomorrow because of this strangely LOOONG nusantara rehearsal. I'm swamped with all sorts of excel data, trying to figure out stripping factor (wish it sounded like i've never heard of it before... hehe), L'/G', looking at minute writings of badly scanned material by the professor, having eye patches just trying to figure out what was one wrong command from all the hundreds of data. and you know what i hate? it sounds soooooo soo cool, but it isnt. monte carlo simulation. i've hated that thing since i first went through it in MAU class. wish the class involves me escaping from a hell hole prison, became rich, powerful, skillful swordsman, and have my sweet revenge on every person who put me there. man... that was a good movie. hahahaha. eh.... wait a min... that's monte cristo. ahahaha. buduh... i'm not going to delete that... just keep oooooon typing. damn monte carlo simulation. they should've called it 'pain in the ass simulation'.

wow... suddenly i'm very hyped with this macho character thing as i was writing about the monte cristo. haha. if anyone has read 'The Godfather', one of the BEST book every written, it was by Mario Puzo (i've read most of his book, and i think it makes you wise, and feel like shooting people from the back while they're peeing standing up). When Vito Corleone and Sonny Corleone was shot, Michael didn't do anything. he didn't do anything for i think it was about 5 years. and at the end, everything just kept coming to all the 4 families that betrayed the Corleone family. they didn't see it coming... at all.

Kill Bill (another kick ass movie... especially with the cinematography) kinda did the same concept, when Uma Thurman was paralyzed for i dont know how long (probably 6-10 years coz her daughter was already around that age when she came to see Bill), and then she was well, and swept through all the people who took her life away. And they didnt see it coming either.

Then there was Count of Monte Cristo. slick, efficient, elegant, classy, and imminent. man, that was a cool book and a movie. learned to read and write and play swords, and went out to the world with Yaccomo as his own right man, and just gave it to the face to each people who took his life away.

all the three movies had one thing in common. and Kill Bill and Godfather had roughly the same saying... "Revenge is a dish... best served cold...".

Still praying for the best everyday, although it may not seem it could happen, but who knows... i wont stop anyway. thanks to all who kept me on my feet... including you.

Thursday, March 17, 2005


Shit... wtf did i write last night? wasnt feelin' so right. hahahah. anyway... job interview tomorrow... freakin out lil bit although i dont really care as much. i really want to go back home to malaysia. there i can feel better everyday than how i already am here.

honestly... if this thing ever happens to me in Malaysia again... I'd definitely punch the person right into the face... spit on him... and go out with my brothers to Nasi Lemak Panas Ampang right after. that'd be great. Here... I'm an outsider... in other's territory, aper org buat tolak kepala kita pun, kita nak lawan balik pun pointless. kita kene bodoh jekk... tengok jekk how they take the best thing from you away like you're nothing. nothing.

I dont know what i'm doing right now... i dream everyday... nice sweet dreams about blank. i refuse to wake up sometimes because i wish the dream was a reality. but instead, reality is not nice to me. i feel like shit everyday... falling apart everyday... and i only receive sharp stares instead of nice round eyes that wrap the hands around mine when its bored and no ones around. nothing anymore.

Allah... berikan lah aku kekuatan... tunjukkan lah aku jalan yg benar semula... dan sedarkanlah aku dari niat jahat syaitan, manusia, dan diri ku sendiri... apa yang ku doa kan ini... ku doa kan untuk dirinya juga....

i'm soooo in love with laura prepon....
Breeze Driftin on by....

Floowin'.... I must say... I've never felt more vigorous, aaaand floowin'. put on my aviator, smokin' my cigar, watch that thing burn... damn it... makes everything feels sooo cool. Birds flyiiiin' hiiigh, yoooou knooow how i feel... nina simone... you made one of the best songs ever created on earth. listen to it people.... nina simone, feelin good. then listen to the Muse's version on Feelin' good. especially when you're flowin'... everything will seem like a breeze driftin on by. life's never been better.

Right now... t shirts... bell bottom jeans... aviators... cigars... 70s rock band... livens my life everyday. feels so liberating. Led Zeppelin, The Who, Grateful Dead... Irfan man... what have you become... hippie should be in again. SHOULD BE. strangest thing i've ever asked my mom and dad... what song do they listen to when they were back in the 70s? and i was hoping to led zeppelin, the who or what not... the funniest thing was my mom cant remember what she liked... and my dad told me he loved My Way... and then i went... which led zeppelin song is that... until i realized Frank Sinatra is not part of the band.

Hey, I've fallen apart... stumbled down so many times... now i'm making a point to pick myself up.... whatever happens next... it's up to Him and me. Dear Allah... I have sinned. I'm willing to change... and hopefully the other s will too. never hurts to have a prayer or two.

Man... really... one hand aquafina... aviator... cigar... listenin' to blues, jazz, rhytmic rock and roll, bob marley, shiiiit. sometimes i feel i should be in the 70s. in the basement... chillin' with foreman, probably even have a chance with donna or jackie... aaww man!!! to close all that with a nina simone... both middle fingers to the world... hahahah.....

Dude... i dont have any idea to write... hahahahaha wtf? you know what... i'm feelin' to cool to stop typing. today had silat practice... while practicing silat, ellias sepak, and i took the kick, flipped him down, step on his stomach, and... bunyi cirit terkuar... hahah... bunyi kentut basah. wtf? hahahah. sorry ellias. aku tgh hype giler skang nih. kalau nak soh aku edit... sound. aper lagik... i dont have much money in bank right now... but once petronas masuk duit... first thing i'm going to buy is a new set of aviators. the brown colored glasses.

Oh!! and one more thing... listening to maroon five while ur euphoric... makes you feel groooovy!! best gell! omg! tah paper tah si mamat cumil tuh? STFU!!! hahahahaha. nick names? what are they? manja names? what are they? just mere words like pudding poo to make you uplifted by someone you care about, or baby, or pumpkin... oh COME ON!! hahahah.... shiit.... i'm hype right now. i should stop typing. pfftss... hahahaha.. NOT!!

okay... how bout writing down the lyrics of feelin' good....


Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breezee driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom in the tree you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel

damn... i'm feelin thirsty.... probably lay down lil bit....

"Loving the pain... its a breeding ground for hate..." Silver Chair....

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


Okay... i dont think women have any problem with this. as disgusting this topic may seem... it happens everyday. So if there are any men reading this... kalau kencing berdiri kat toilet... tolong laaa angkat toilet seat. rule yg sgt mudah. pick up the toilet seat, pee... then put it down again. senang kan? if you guys were peeing with the toilet seat on.... and there's some pee around the seat.... make a point to clean it up by yourself. TAK SUSAH. disgusting tau tak? toilet paper ada... bersihkan tempat tuh utk org lain. i'm not lying... if i made the mistake... i'd clean it. with lots and lots of toilet paper. because its a public toilet!! so... kesimpulan... kencing duduk adalah lebey bagus....


sigh... something i have not been really good at. especially when its unknown men giving confrontation. if it was a lady, or a child, or a good friend of mine, i'd be really cool with it. probably take some nasihat along with it. but from a stranger, especially if it was insulting, man... i just have the tendency to blast back. i know i shouldn't. but i just do. and i hate it. that's why i hate insulting confrontations. regardless laa email ke, through other people's mouth ke. come on... doesnt hurt to be polite.... but then... i should be the better person and be polite in a mean way, just sufficient enough to make them say "alamak... malu ler plak.". which i think i know i should start honing. blargh.... one thing i wanted to do.... watch bridget jones diary... part where Mark Darcy kicked the crapt out of hugh grant. but then again... what goes around comes around. doa2 tetiap hari the best should happen.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Great Idea

I just had a GREAT idea... actually it wasnt mine. i friend of mine wanted to do it with his, and but didnt. So i'm thinking of continuing the legacy. it's openg to almost anyone. collect roughly USD 200. buy the worst piece of car that could probably run for 10,000 miles left. then drive down from here to Texas or Arizona or anything, into the desert, and drive it until the car breaks down. take the license plate, scratch the ID, and hitchhike to the closest bus station. Anyone? it's a cool idea isnt it?