wait, i can do this.... sorry what was i supposed to do again?

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Ferr... congrats... you're a quarter century!!!

hey ferr... ur a quarter century!! that's half way to 50!! 75 years to go to reach 100!!

the last time i met you was around end of august 2005. that's almost 2 years from today. the last pic i have of you is only in my cellphone with your new geeky dorky glasses that you still make it look hot with. i wish i could upload it in on my hard drive (the only thing i live on now).

all i can say, is you've been there for me when i was in slumps which really sucks, and i try to be there for you the best i can as well. despite the distance... amazingly we still keep in touch via sms at least once a week. now... that's definitely something.

I cant wait to see you in KL soon. gonna hug you so much. hopefully we can do as much catchups as we could, and just chill... catch up... videos, pics.

I still remember our breezing days in my room A201 and definitely in mcGiff and who can forget boston. we totally re-defined chilling. now... we need to catch up on as much chillin as we can. live bands, spend time at the old folks home, spend time with orphans, chilling at a jazz bar, or just at a park and talk with the gang. anything... anything!! okay... obviously we wont do the latter one because of the EXTREME humidity and CRAZY hot temp here in malaysia. so... please PLEASE do be ready for the hot weather.. and make time for chilling!!! after this is another year for me to see you.

so again sweetie... HAPPY Birthday!!!

on a another note

i didnt even know when AF started... but all i know... im happy that the hype isnt as much as it used to be. THANK YOU!!! for those who still do... please carry on with a better life. the show is just a way to suck you in and make you a zombie and a slave for the media bullshit to make extra money out of people's misery and personal life... and worst thing is, the ppl who are actually voting for the show consists of people who cant afford a lot of stuff. support our local football team, or your local political party, or your local school, something... as long as it doesnt consist of the whole malaysia crying for something so fucking trivial.

wicked random thoughts.....

so weirdly enough... during a meeting... this thought came out... how heavy is a severed human head averagely weigh. i dont think it would differ much with everyone's head rite? because i think everywhere in the world, our heads are just almost the same size as the other. the brain differs though through some ppl's oversensitivity and stupidity of judging something practical. you cant force people to do something they dont want by saying 'nopes nopes we're not forcing' but just keeps on yammering the same FUCKING thing all the time. (that's just my personal thoughts though. heheheh.)

what would it feel if i could just run away from the world i have now... to somewhere like hawaii or australia, work for a restaurant until i could open my own restaurant with attached scuba dive shop + surfer shop which i'll call big cojuna. all i do is work... then i go surf. have that surfer abs ive always wanted and just not give a care about the world at all. no ties no nothing. just a normal dude... who goes to work with sandals, hawaiian shirt, and shorts. then after that i'd probably continue part time study as a marine biologist... and then work with dolphins. hmmmm. that'll be the highlight of my life.

i wonder if i could sign myself up to go to poor countries and make a difference anytime soon. at least to one person's life. sudan... africa... india... afghanistan... indonesia... etc, etc. i really want to. if i was given a free trip for the opportunity to travel either to paris to take pics and shop til i drop with a 5K of pocket money or those countries to help out while living like them... i'd take the latter. just to get away from all the pretentiousness, bullshit, the selfish world... and do something else to make people feel more appreciated, to lift up their spirits, i dont mind. i dont mind at all. hopefully i get to do all that one day... one day....

Sunday, March 25, 2007

writer's block....

okay, so obviously i dont know what to write lately. especially with the fact when i do have an idea to write, i dont have a laptop to update it. and when i finally have one, the idea dispersed into oblivion like a black hole warps in every single thing around and close to it.

i dont even have any new pics to update you guys on. Wow... to think about it, I've been here for a month and did not go out at all. this is my first whole month here this year. What did i do anyway? nothing? just filled my life with suspense. strangely enough relationships at this point of my life doesnt really matter. freaking amazing. so... no phone calls and text msgs except to my buds and family.

so okay... i really dont have any idea what to write... except about this.....

I've seen this movie god knows how many times... but i think it's probably one of the coolest movie ever made... Amelie.

Yes... I've seen this movie so many times... and yet it still attracts me in so many different ways. the script writing... how everyone in the movie was highlighted in every single way. the minute important things in each of their lives. their likes and dislikes... which is something not everyone understands or agree... but it is something that the person is very comfortable with. how Amelie likes to dip her fingers into a bag of grains, or how she likes to turn around and look at people's expression while watching a movie, and noticing the intricate details of the movie itself... as well as the other characters, Nino Quincompox (god knows how to spell it), Monsieur Dufayel, and others. One thing that i think most people probably dont know about me is... i dont like bihun goreng (except for the white ones, the red ones are just weird), i dont like mayo... dont hate it... but i certainly can live without it, and im not a fan of cappucino. i do like making my bed in the morning, stare at moving water (waterfall, fountain, river) and get lost in it for 5 minutes and i love watching feel good movies around europe and again wondering how do i get lost in it. and i like the feeling of sand around my toes by the beach which makes me smile and make people wonder if im crazy. and these are the things that i literally... just noticed. how bout you? those little things... that doesnt even matter to you or others... but u do like it.... amazing script Amelie....

But the movie didnt stand only on the script alone... it was the cinematography of the movie itself. How every simplicity of architecture, arts, and angle of the movie created the whole mood. If you notice... the almost every scene of the movie, there will be 2-3 dominant colors that's almost the same shade... and there will be only small color, that attracts the audience into a scene. it doesnt necessarily have to be at the center or huge... its usually one bright color that makes one concentrate on every scene, and its usually blue, red or green. it could be the eyes, a necklace, a lampshade, toothbrush... those very minute details.... it just makes the movie much more beautiful.

and finally... the France factor itself. Monsieur Collignon's store, the park where Amelie waits for Nino, the train station, the skyline... it just really took me in. and the amazing thing is... it's not even the center of the usual Paris... where the Eiffel Tower or Louvre is... its just in god knows somewhere... and yet... it makes u fall in love with the place so badly and make you feel the love, the adventure, of Amelie's quest in making everyone's life a better place in this world.

I so do love paris so much. i dont know when i'll be there... but i will. thank god i didnt go with any of my exs coz that'd be just a reeeeeaally bad memory after that. I dont mind going alone. just chilling, taking pictures, meeting people, listening to the nice early 1900s music on old record players... walking down the road where picasso started painting and cutting off his ears for the love of art...(BODOH gileee), sitting down in a nice bar or a restaurant and just watch passer-bys. and i sooo wanna go during the fall. i bet it'll be more than just magical.

well basically ive given a movie review of Amelie De Poulain. No other character could fit Amelie but Audrey Tautou. She fits the character just nicely.

When I'm in KL... im so gonna look for Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. that's another movie that;s just so very simple... just two people talking... its their amazing dialogue.

I think I'm changing into a very phlegmetic person. wow... that's mad weird.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Lap Topless...

I know its been a while since i last updated my blog. I definitely didnt do it for no reason at all. I dont even get to chat as much as well. and here's my oh-so-valid reason....

My dearest bud, my lifelong friend that has stuck through my side since 2003. Through the dark nights in my Colonie Apartments, through my hardwork doing my research online, keeping all my pics, watching all the cool DVDs, and yes, updating my blog... finally... it is time for my bestest bud... T40.. to go. He has shut down on me and i bet, the cost of repairing it will be expensive, and also, based on the age... is unworth it. luckily to the amazing technology of external hardrive, i managed to do a 'heart transplant' for a temporary host until i get a new laptop. I know im not one of those stupid weirdos who name their laptop, but, i've always told myself, the top 3 items that i treasure the most in my posession is definitely my laptop. hopefully modern technology will turn you into an antique.

Grey's Anatomy....

The past weekend was what i would say, a weekend that was very very fruitful. all i did was sit in front of my computer... and watched Grey's fuckin Anatomy. Yes, there's a LOT of drama. and now im so hooked. i know last time i mentioned that Sandra Oh is the best character. well scratch that. Addison Shepherd is. she is THE coolest. i dont understand wat's up with Meredith Grey anyway? she's just a horny woman. trying to breakup a marriage. yes yes addie cheated on him, but only because McDreamy dude didnt pay enough attention on her anymore. so who's fault is it?? and McDreamy made a choice, to be with Addie, so at least tryyyyy. Sheeeesh. okay, so how bout this for my name? McHotness or McSizzles? Ferr said im soooo McHotness. thanks ferr. mueheheheeh.

My first video....

so i did my first video for my company... did it using the Hijau song by Zainal Abidin in regards to the Environment Week here at the office. So far i've gotten good responses alhamdulillah. Hopefully it could be a stepping stone for me to get to directing expensive commercials/tvads, also making me closer into marketing stuff to the max with quality branding and all. and hence making me one step closer to young rich dude. My bosses were very impressed except this one lazy boring looking dude. but i think he's just jealous coz he wanted to be in the video, and then he delayed, i dont care who you are, if you're not punctual, and give me too much excuses, you're not worth my time. business is business. so shut it.

Deliberations, decisions, and thoughts....

As most of my close friends know me, yes, i like to look at cute gorgeous women. nopes, not desperate in anyway. well i used to before i had a gf. now, after long thoughts, i honestly think, relationships are a waste of time and money, and it will only deteriorate one's brain cell. for my friends who ARE in a relationship... good for you. im not opposing anyone, this is just my thought.

its too time consuming, and yes... initally i mentioned i wanna get married at the age of 30, now, i dont think i want to at all. i think la. I dont need a gf... i have my friends, which makes me smile most of the time even when im in the deepest shit. so... what more can i ask for? if you have a gf... ppl tend to cheat. maybe not her, maybe not him, maybe both, so what's the point of a relationship? just a status. fuck no? a relationship deserves better definition than that. and yes... one of the roots on that strong tree called relationship, i'd say, is Trust. thes days... and i bet most ppl agree... its hard to find someone you can REALLY trust... their loyalty and integrity.

another thing is, i was sitting by the fire last nite, at a bbq, didnt feel like mingling that time. I was looking around and saw adorable kids running around playing. then i noticed there were like 10-12 kids, and everyone was making fun of this one boy. calling him names and all. at that time, i wondered if it'll affect him later on in his life. being bullied and all. will it affect his confidence, his posture, his life. then i realized, that having kids are really really really a big responsibility. I've always wondered how did my parents raised my sisters and I. I'd say we're quite balanced in life. not too nice, not too fucked up. just in the middle. and i've always know my basics. so i wonder if i can ever raise a kid like that. Especially knowing how the questionable the discipline of a kids in school these days. but if you home school them, they would not have a normal life, and they will blame you for that. so how? how do we raise great kids who will be great to you and take care of you when you're older. HOW? Its a BIG responsibility, i dont think im ready... not now, not later... not anytime soon at least. you need the security and all.

so to my friends who are already married, and having kids and all, im proud of all of you, and wishing all of you a great auspicious days ahead of you. but as for myself, i'll stick to what i think until someone can change my mind and tell me differently.

damn... deep shit im talking about here....