i've been in this place now coming to my sixth year. currently im so sick but i cant afford to take annual leaves. there's so many weddings i have to go to this year, it involves me traveling from here on this damn island to KL so many times. which in turn, costs more money.
im sitting in my dark room with one light wondering when will i be able to move on to a new place and really pack my things properly so i can store them again properly in a nice permanent place.
my friends are slowly resigning from the company, and some are transferred, which eventually leaves me alone here uninspired. this cant be. i've always wondered as a kid, things only get better when you get older. less depressing and shit. but no, actually it can in turn be worse if you dont play your cards right. so right now, im holding to my cards, waiting for the right time to fold and leave the table to a new one. however, right now, im still stuck.
sometimes its so hard to believe that my room is now stuffed with 6 years worth of shit in here. i dont put my books and all other nice stuff i have out in the living room because its a room i rent with 3 other guys. if it was a house that i stay with my wife, sure, why not.
basically, right now, im always wondering, when will my cards turn up, or at least when will it be the right time for me to fold and leave and sit on a new table.
i've been literally sick for the past 2 weeks that its ridiculous. my throat hurts and ive been stuffing myself with random meds i dont even know what the effect will be. i got an antibiotic that smells so bad like rotten egg. why or pharmacist why must your create such capsule? cant you create a capsule that tastes like oreos? at least it'll make me wanna swallow more of the meds.
you know you got a good set of meds when you wake up from sleep, and you're walking to get a drink, and during all that, you're feeling like you're floating and at anytime you can fall, but you're not. great feeling, but shitty feeling because it makes me break with cold sweats.
worse thing is, im working tomorrow and my job consists of me running around at the field managing people and getting things in control. if i cant do that, then fuck me what the fuck am i doing at work?
Witty... or not so witty?
i'm not so sure if i have any witty thoughts for now. oh wait here goes.... wait... nope its gone. i had one but its unoriginal. well, talk about relationships. how bruno mars say, he'd catch a grenade for the girl?
first of all, why is the girl being thrown a grenade at in the first place?
second, is it that easy to get a grenade for someone to throw at people just because they dont like them? where is this? Colombia? Afgan?
third, my close friend got punched unnecessarily by a group of idiots because they werent satisfied the girl one of them likes preferred my friend. people kept asking "so was she worth it?". well, i guess she must be. because if she isnt, then dude, you've just set the bar for the next girl so high. professing your love will be difficult. now you might really have to jump in front of the bus or really catch that grenade so they wont go saying
"you got punched for her! what would you do for me? hah? hah?"
and come back to Bruno, yes, if you're already catching that damn grenade, it doesnt work out, what is it gonna be like for the next girl? hug a nuclear bomb? my friends, the lesson here is, start small. catch a tossed crumpled paper for a start. at least it's subtle.....