wait, i can do this.... sorry what was i supposed to do again?

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Connector....

believe it or not... this was one of the best Raya I've ever had. Somehow every year, something awesome happens. but somehow... this was definitely the best. filled with meeting lotsa new ppl, lotsa catching up... and most of all... lotsa lotsa fun.

My current main goal in life:
Making a positive impact and influence in the life of the people around me, and they get to create a chain reaction to be inspired to do the same.

Side goals:
1. completing my to-do list before i die.
2. Be a great connector, maven AND salesman to my friends.

I just love to meet people, and this time, its not just meeting them and forget about it when we part. but instead... meeting them and trying my best keepin contact, regardless if i've only met them once. karma... nice to people... people are nice to you. hopefully.

All i know, I'm leaving for bintulu today... and i really really really hate it. im depressed as soon as i wokeup in the morning AND yesterday's, knowing that i'll be leaving such a beautiful place filled with awesome beautiful life... and joyful great individuals. I cant help it... im not looking forward to work because the only thing i feel when i reach work is sad, depressed and oblivious.its painful, and all i could do is just fake it as much as i can so i wont affect others. seriously, please stop telling me what YOU know what is best for me. YOU ARE NOT ME!!!!!!!!

This raya, I met up with my cool nephews, cousins, high school bud, and awesomely new friends. I would love to elaborate more, but i know im just going to feel much more depressed as im leaving all of them, for something that sucks my soul and turn me into a person im not... every single day.

I've met up with jolly people friends and cousins of my nephew's girlfriend (yes complicated, like some friendster shit thingy, but it was fun), my bitchin about workin life buds here from my major Corp in KK; you guys were serious fun exploring a different part of Tuaran which makes me fall in love with KK much much more(probably such a good place to bring a gf for sappy talks), and a cool sweet lady with damn beautiful smile who i bumped into while i was reading a book in the middle of the ocean 2-3 months ago. somehow she was in town so my cous brought her around... friendly and great stories she has. all i wish is... they enjoy my company, and they enjoy having me around, and will always look forward for another hang out session with me.

will miss all of you.... (btw... i met a maya karin look alike... she was almost.... perfect).

Shooting randomly....

The best Puasa wish i got on the phone was from my cousin:
Bulan Ramadhan nih, kalau nak buat jahat, tepuk dada, tanyalah iman. Janganlah tanya Aiman... pasal nanti, kalau tanya Aiman... Aiman kata... "Aiman tak kesah...."

The best Raya wish i got on the phone was from my colleague:
"BarangSiapa yang mandi dingin di pagi sebelum subuh pada bulan Ramadhan, pastilah dia MENGERJAKAN isterinya di malam sebelumnya... Selamat Hari Raya PUASA....

I've had an 'ambuyat' eating session with my nephew's on his other side of family. it was fun. ambuyat is a brunei ethnic food especially during the war. it's just simple melted sagu, and dipped into yummy fish and bambangan (type of sabah jeruk/pickle). Refer to the video in easy steps to how to eat the ambuyat....

enjoy the pics... with a million stories behind it....

my first day raya... before prayers, i had lemang & serunding... oh and blue cheese with toast. weird man i am huh?

Nadhrah and I... my first day raya... siblings minus 1....

my adorable young2 nephews....

Chillin at Nins with Gerard. in Tuaran with a very simple yet beautiful road trip. Must i say, i should've taken the pics of her house. very simple yet... breathtaking. im soooooo in love... with her house!! muehehehe. Other than that... the simple short road trip offered gorgeous sceneries. i wish i was a pro photographer... than my pics would be really......

ambuyat togethering at Feizal's... good fun indeed but in true fact, i was so bloody tired because i just finished MY open house good fun though

Sunday, October 22, 2006

It's just another... lonely day

So around 8pm today... it is official. Hari Raya in Malaysia falls on a Tuesday. As for me here in KK... the minute i stepped on the grounds of KK... I was already so happy. I do not have to listen to the pestering sounds of my boss who's jumpy and very domineering as well. Weird how much effect he has on me. When i see him... i immediately feel so depressed and down, and even if i dont see him, listening to his voice... or a similar accent to his, would just totally wilt me down, making me drown in darkness and sadness... only hoping no one would save me so i'll just be lost in the depression for a certain time period.

Honestly... I need this break. I so need this break as i really love spending time in this City. although strangely enough, some of KK's best hang out places... i heard is actually run by chinese sarawakians. that's sad honestly... no sabahan locals irregardless of what race, is ready enough to step up to these domestic invaders who slowly creeps into the lives of the locals... and make money out of it to live somewhere far and convenient in sarawak. i honestly think its utter BS.

but either way... how i miss sabah so much. okay, i know i sound too over excited, but Borneo has finally opened their very own starbucks... and i'm proud to say... its in KK and not in miri or especially not in bintulu.

Oh well... I have roughly 9 days not to think about the job i hate so much... and I'll spend my best times not thinking about it and just chill and relax most of the time. here in KK... i'll never be bored... but i'll always be relaxed. heehhe.

on to a lighter note....

so... yesterday... I was doing some errands with my mom and my sisters, just picking up contact lenses and what not. It just surprises me how so many people are still doing last minute shoppings and the place just gets sooooo filled up with so many ppl trying to get their hands on as much new stuff as possible. initially, I wanted to do the same. but somehow i managed to refrain myself. i thank god i did... because, what I was about to observe, feel, and share with you what happened later that day... was a moment in my life, in which... i will NEVER trade for anything in the world. BUT, i will share... as my hope with sharing this... i hope to inspire others, and to be less selfish, succumb to the giant capitalists BS by buying branded goods (excessively that is), and never... NEVER thankful... of what they currently have.

Since before Ramadhan... i had this new feeling, to contribute to the world, make a change at least. I did some community services, talks... but i dont know if i made a difference. i dont really feel it... until yesterday.

Yesterday evening, I bought 4 barrels of KFC, and I bought 2 cartons of canned sodas. I was actually nervous when i bought it... as i dont know if the thing that i wanted to do, would ever fulfill my hopes... or better yet... the orphans that i bought the food for. I was driving alone, trying my best in racing againts time for buka puasa, and when im done with buying the necessaries, i was driving my dad's hilux to 120-130 km/hr on curvy roads. all in my head was... oh dear god... please let the food reach them on time.

as soon as i reached there, i saw kids running around, some teenagers helping out a guy probably in his mid-30s setting up a tent. I was greeted by a guy in a kopiah, smiled at me... and i immediately knew he was Ustaz Khairi, the caretaker of the orphanage. i looked at my watch... thank god... i still have about 15 minutes to spare. i was about to carry in the food, but i was helped by some kids in their teens with the food and brought it to the kitchen.

The ustaz then brought me to a hallway and we stood outside a medium hall with a TV hung on the corner of the hall. i was greeted by small kids, and they shook and kissed my hand. and i honestly was touched. the ustaz told me how this puasa, usually the kids are invited to buka puasa for various events, and that day was the first time that they were just going to buka without a presence of a guest at the place they call home. they didnt expect that a dude calling them up to bring some food that day... and they didnt actually expect the person wanted to sit down and spend time with the kids for buka and talk to them asking them how they were doing. most of the time, the donors would just pass food to them, and leave.

i thank god for giving me that opportunity honestly, to spend time with those kids. i felt sad initially because of their status, but then amazed because of their independence, their strength at such a young age, and then i was sad again i had to say goodbye to these great kids... much better than any kids i have ever seen... even in myself back then when i was a teenager.

the place caters for kids starting around the age of 7, and the eldest kids they have are two kids one 17, and the otherr 18. these teens however, look after the younger ones the best they can, and contribute and help the younger ones in facing this world and letting them know, that they will always have support. I was so touched on how these kids were so obedient, and they were so thankful of what they already have, and they didnt ask for anything more.

i sat down in a table with a group of boys, drinking the sodas that i brought, and they were chewing on that kurma that they probably gotten for a derma. then i spent time with them in the surau praying for maghrib. i honestly was amazed with what i saw. the kids actually pray with me, with the imam, unlike the kids you usually see running around during prayers in the masjid, not giving a care of the world. and they are around the same age. it just completely blows me off.

i was chatting with the 17 yr old, asked about his SPM paper and what is his plans after SPM. 'tunggu result, lepas tuh tunggu offer kalau result bagus insyaAllah... dan sementara tunggu keputusan, kerja part-time di sini lah tolong adik2'. yes... that's what he said. after my SPM, i was a spoilt brat spending the money my mom gave buying CDs, clothes, an hung out in KLCC doing nothing not being thankful of the wonderful things around me that ACTUALLY matters.

I then snapped some pics of them lining up for the KFC i bought, and i was kinda sad, knowing that... if i didnt bring the food, they probably would only eat sayur masak lemak and rice and... that's it. that's it. i cudnt fathom the fact. and the fact that some people dont even finish their food, and just throw it away without a care in the world... is just sad. they might as well didnt spend that money on the food, and buy clothes for people who REALLY REALLY need it.

thank god i broke up. i could now have a much better purpose of where to spend the money. rather than waste money to someone who was so shallow and blind on materials around her... might as well i spend it here. as i sat down and mingled with them, the latest addition in their family, couldnt really finish the food given, and his 'brothers' came beside him, told him not to push himself... and the 'brothers' helped him finish his food. they really made a point NOT to membazir. Please people... be more thankful. when u eat, and u think u cant finish, u could either get it for to-go/take away/tapau/bungkuih noo ... or better yet, estimateh how much u can eat, and eat proportionately. please people...dont waste, and be thankful... of what you have. those extra food that you didnt spend on could probably be donated for a much better cause.

I cant describe the feeling... as i was about to leave, i took pics with them and they were so excited, and some gave me a hug, and all of them begged me to drop by on the 2nd day of raya for their open house in which i am usually not free as i'll be in kampung at that time. so i was really sad since i couldnt fulfill their wishes that day. but... honestly... seeing their faces light up with just the KFC on their plate, their laughters with the simple jokes from their caretaker... seeing that... just really gave me a more cause to give... and give... and not stop.

i cant really describe the great feeling i had. I'm amazed that these young kids are much stronger that anyone i know... and they're just so much SOOOO much younger than we are. I cant describe it. it was just so exhilirating, and all i can say, please do try it if u have the time and money. if you're in KK... and i'd be happy enough to take you there... to the minds and leaders of our tomorrow. that experience you get... i bet you... you would never want to trade away.

damn i miss them. just comes to show... all the adidas you have, the gucci u wear, the expensive skin care, the expensive cars for you to flash... is NOTHING. NOTHING to me...and especially to those who are already... very satisfied, with one ketul KFC per person, plus one lone guy, listening to the stories of their day, and how Coke actually 'has' ajinomoto in them. adorable, strong, beautiful kids they are. God i pray that you help these kids to be a great person in Malaysia someday. Amin..... this is for the kids.....

i'm tellin this because i pray hopefully that i inspire some of my readers, to do the same. and i hope you guys could inspire others as well, so on and so forth. like my college always say... 'Why not change the world?' so this is what i'm doing... and hoping you will do the same.....

Pics describe a thousand words....Ustaz khairi, redzuan, saffiee, izzati, sazrina, tilka, subri, sabri, sabli, are some of the names that i remember from the short rewarding day.,...

waiting for buka.....

Lining up for Colonel Sanders... thank you colonel sanders....

sweet child not of mine....

the ustaz and i, and the eldest one on my left side... redzuan and another helping their brother to finish his food

i know the angle looks bad... but the ustaz DID try. kesian dier hahaaha. i went alone there... but i was accepted there... and i was happy... till today.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

happy deepavali to whom it may concern.....

todi, sung, ajeem, ija, and fera (i bet todi wanted me to include this ferr.. sorry!!)

this movie is dedicated to you guys....

  • The Belalai....
  • Sunday, October 15, 2006

    My Hi-fi's waiting... for a new tune....

    It's now the 22nd day of ramadhan. How is it so far... god knows. all in my head is im looking forward to go back to KK and chill there with my family and especially my nephews and drive late nite by the beach alone with the windows down....

    The past whole month was a soul searching event for me. Honestly, besides being rigorous, pushing my dear life to the limits with extreme sports (but still in a very safe way), straining my body as much as i can, i still find that there's still so much that i need to accomplish in this world. what will be my catalyst in this world to push me to the actual limits, not only in energetically and mentally, but most of all... spritituality as well.

    Last weekend... i volunteered to help setup this event for Buka Puasa with orphans, most of them are not actualy piatu, but just yatim. but still... i made a point to help out nevertheless. took their pics and show it to them on my rundown digital camera to see the smile on their faces, and then i sat down with them for dinner as i mingled with them. their innocent laughters and all i hope is that they will know someone will always be there for them regardless what their situation is.

    then yesterday, during the day time, i volunteered myself again to give a motivational talk on unwind on stress for SPM students. I dont know if i did good, but all i know is, there were so much laughter, and eyes that are wide awake. I just hope, there are some words in there, that will stick in their hearts, which they will be able to send it down to others. and benefit others as well. i just dont know if it was good enough, if it was sufficient enough for them. that was my only worry.

    right after that, i also joined the adopt a child for a day program during this month of ramadhan. i dont know if im great with kids, if i could grab their attention, if i could create a certain impact for them. god knows. I got a 12 yr old boy, Ahmad Tarmimi Masuud, and i just took him shopping the whole day. he was very hesitant with all the stuff that i wanted to buy and give him, baju melayu for hari raya, yaasin, a pair of futsal shoes, a tshirt, a sweater, some food, and some Raya allowance as well. the problem is, the child was so quiet, and i asked if everything is okay and all, and he only nodded yes. he only kept quiet most of the time, and when i asked him, he'll say only very little words.

    Albeit, after all this... I worry if what i did for him... was NOT sufficient enough. was it enough to show this one child, that there will always be someone in this world irregardless of his situation? he's the only child and he's dad passed away due to cardiac attack at the age of 39. the mom doesnt work apparently, and only bakes kuih and gets income from there. the aunt helps him out with school. he'll be going to kuching for his highschool he's going there alone to stay with his cousins, while his mother stays alone here in bintulu. I was restless till i got home and fell asleep. I was worried if he was actually happy with all the stuff that i bought him for his raya, which are the stuff that he rarely gets. towards the end of the session, i only managed to tell him somewhat this... 'I'm doing this ikhlas, and my only hope is, that he grows up to be good man, and hopefully, he could be able to help others in his situation later on... and so on and so on....'

    that was my time... spending time with the innocent young kids, the bright minds of tomorrow, who... i know, with proper guidance and nurture, could probably lead a major company, an army, or even a country. I dont think i did enough, and will not stop here. Dear god, i pray that you help these kids, to grow up nicely, and will always do the same as i have done for them to others... maybe even better. Was he happy? Were the SPM kids laughing only and didnt benefit anything? Were sitting with the kids during break fast make them feel excited and secured knowing that everyone will always except them regardless of what? is this enough? is it?? what else can i do? how can i help them more?

    am i worrying too much? im not happy yet. there's so much to do... and i dont know if i'll ever get to do it... i just... dont... know.....

    one of my cool wall climbing sessions last month....

    with Sza-Sza before actorlympics last month....

    break fast and donations for some orphans at the Masjid Asyakirin last week....

    My adopted son... well brother laa... son just makes me sound freakin old...

    twins... mighty energetic. if i was taking care of them yesterday, id probably completely pass out by the time i get home....

    waheeda's sweet adopted 5 yr old sister on Sandy's lap... doesnt like me though. i wonder why...

    Me, my adopted brother, hairun and his adopted brother... hairun's the shorter one. yeap... he got a tall lank form 1 kid....

    Saturday, October 07, 2006

    Bleeep... Bleeeep... pantun bulan ramadhan....

    mentos melekat di gigi,
    guna lidah tercariiii cari,
    kini ku buat pantun - pantun ini,
    buat kawan2 bengong ku yaaaaang sejati....

    Kambing gurun mencari rumput,
    Rumput dicabut dengan lah gigi,
    wahai abe yang sangat lah buntut,
    awek biler nak ada... ko balik aper kita nak buat nanti?

    Burung terbang di pagi raya,
    Terbang jauh nun di sana,
    En Faidz kecil tak diduga,
    nko nih bila laa nak datang sabah???

    Si anak main bunga api,
    Si bapak pulak busuk la kaki,
    wahai fera yang tak gosok gigi,
    awak dah single lama... saya kan ada kat sini!!

    Ada kambing tuan nya Meri,
    Dier bawak ke sekolah tiap2 hari,
    Marien yang perasan kiut tak henti2,
    jangan lah gatal di bulan posee ini

    Mencari lemang bawak parang karat,
    Sampai tersesat berhari hari,
    wahai Todi yang sangat lah bulat,
    dengan saper celebrate deepavali tahun ini?

    kuih muih bermacam macam dari machang,
    jauh betol laaa nak dibeli,
    wahai sung ko buat per skarang,
    aku suggest ko celebrate deepavali dengaaan Todi.

    Oh Amin Ramli yang dah ada bini,
    senyum kambing kemain lagi,
    biler ko dah ada anak nanti,
    namakan anak ko irfan mestilah dier paling cool sekali....

    si jalut si tukang urut,
    si tukang urut yang menggaru buntut,
    wahai atiee yang kuat mengarut,
    jangan lah jadi giler pasal memang tak patuuuut!!

    4 member layan ganja,
    layan ganja dekat colonie,
    ko ellias skarang apa cerita?
    contact la aku sekali sekala kat sini

    bulan ramadhan bulan paling cool,
    cool sangat sampai aku terpaku,
    wahai Kak Lana yang takde swimming pool,
    kawin nanti introduce la kawan single ko kat aku!!

    Hari raya Menjelang tiba,
    Berkerumun sumer depan tv,
    wahai ija yang si keling gila,
    jangan lah menipu saya tampaq pipi!!


    selamat pose... mintak mahap banyak2!!