wait, i can do this.... sorry what was i supposed to do again?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

1 and a half months of new life.... while its only 2 months to go for another big step...

So here i am... sitting down in my small room in Kerteh. 

a bit cramped up compared to my previous life, and there are nights where i wake up in the middle of the night seeing a cockroach crawling joyfully just beside my pillow while i sleep... causing me to sleep with a small torchlight and a cockroach aerosol repellent by my side. 

it's not exactly the life i was expecting... but to be honest... its different and the fact that i get to see my lovely pregnant wife every week beats any roach that would like to take that away from me (spoken with a vengeance). 

like my lovely friend Ati always mention in her blog "of those KL drivers i dont get" and i'm compelled to mention one here. Being in Bintulu, i tend to drive chilled out. average speed 80 - 90 km/hr and a speed of which i know most people average out in Bintulu. the roads are terrible at times with potholes just ambush you from nowhere like a sinkhole in Chile. 

But when i started to drive here... if there is one thing i dont get... why do people drive here at average speed 110 - 120 km/hr in KERTEH & PAKA only. Reasons not to drive that fast:-

1. Seriously people, its only Kerteh and Paka. There's only one freaking main road. You either drive up or down to work. no curves, no turns, nothing. and vice versa when you're heading home. ONE MAIN ROAD. What's the freaking rush??

2. Seriously people, the roads are amazingly smooth, no idiots who stop in the middle of the highway to pick up passengers, why drive so carelessly?? 

3. Seriously people, I've heard of random animals (huge one, ie:- cows and wild boars) crossing the main road. it sure sucks to hit them at a speed 100 km/hr or more. so why drive so aggressively?

other than that, working is a bliss so far. and i dont wanna jinx it. motivation is such at a high level i can't even care much what others say about this place. I'm loving it so far. and having an established movie theater just 2 minutes drive for my place.... nuff said. 

2 more months....

Well... if there is one thing i havent mentioned in my writings so far... I'm going to be a father. and yes... only 2 months to go. 

there are times when i look at the mirror, or when im driving, while listening to Foo Fighters, Bob Marley, or Beastie Boys, it makes me wonder what kind of dad i'm gonna be. My wife's pretty chilled about it, which is good. I bought some books for her, and read some. while for myself, i bought "Dude, you're gonna be a Dad" as i thought the language spoke to me. 

i keep wondering, am i financially stable and prepared for my baby to come to this world? 

or is this world even stable as it is for my baby to come to this world? There are times that's going through my head to tell my wife to just hold the baby in for a little while until the world gets better... 

but in reality... it doesnt. and love it or not, its something coming... and all i can do i teach my child to be a great loving, motivated individual. 

will i be a great dad? i sure hope so. and i also found out that i'll be having a baby girl. and then, it hit me. and slowly... i understood... why Dad's are so protective of their little girls. i know im just stretching it, but i've already imagined boys oogling while i make that grumpy Dad face, or whenever she introduces a boy to both my wife and i at our home, i'm so urged to say "wait a minute honey, let me get my machete from our room". 

i've met people who've said, "The biggest change in my life was not the being married part, the biggest change in my life was when i had my first child". and in this case, i'm starting to really feel it. 

I do still wonder what do people think when they take look at me and find out i'm gonna be a dad. the guy with the spiked hair, cargo shorts, and his surfer tshirts. weirdly, i dont care. all i care is the unlimited love im giving to my little girl and the mother who's carrying it. 

Dear Daddy's little girl, 

(in my Sabah accent), Daddy doakan both your Mama and I akan jadi great parents to you and that you'll grow up jadi urang yang baik, cerdik, and contribution to Islam & society. Amin.

Friday, May 20, 2011

4 months....

Well, its final. I've gotten my letter and i will be leaving for Terengganu by End of June. Feelings? Mixed.

I remember watching How I Met Your Mother this latest season and one of the things that they mentioned before the point of resigning, or leaving something for something new, majority of people go through as what's called the "Graduation effect". The effect mainly causes some nostalgic feelings and at times makes you nervous to move to somewhere new and sometimes to the point of on the verge of changing your mind.

That's what's happening to me lately. Once I held the letter, I was even having some nostalgics looking at the shrubs beside my office; of which i think is superbly idiotic. But then the great thing is, lucky for me, there's so many idiotic drivers here and the roads are just sooooo messed up! everytime i bump into either of these, i do feel much better.

Other things i did tell myself about this new place, well despite the drive is about 4hrs away from KL, the great thing about it, my wife is just a drive away. And it'll be easier to start my own family insya Allah.

Well, weekend? what weekend? Terengganu's weekend falls on Friday and Saturday. Sure, i'll never get used to this, but you know what, when i drive back to KL on Thursday, i'll be able to have the whole working day on Friday in KL and then maybe i can focus on my writings (suuure... i say that a lot, but well, let's just try).

Where i'll be working, they dont have great Jungle Trekking sites nor do they have a mini stadium for me to jog safely and comfortably on the nice red running track. Despite all that, they did say there's one hill where it is a nice run. Also, i am kinda hoping there's a mini gym where i'll be working. if not, either way, i might be joining the gym at the local club.

Martial arts... well im pretty much into martial arts. I think there's Taekwondo, but i'm definitely not into it. too robotic. There's no Aikido, pretty much the one that i'm into, so what do i do? I heard there's Silat Gayong, but i dont know, after leaving that more than 10 yrs ago (shaitss!! that perspective makes me feel old!), my only option would probably be to attend a class in KL on Fridays or Thursdays at least once a month. There's Capoeira close to where we currently live in PJ, that might help a bit.

4 hours traveling time from Kerteh to KL? well let's see, if i work in Bintulu, check in an hour before, go on the flight, reach there, if i have bags, then i usually take the bus or the train to KL which is almost another hour. So? that's a total of 4hrs too! well sure, traveling time is more or less the same, but i guess its a cheaper... then i did some calculation. Assuming i'm driving back and forth every weekend, with toll and fuel, back and forth (does not include my normal fuel consumption to work and back), i found out that the total cost for me is roughly RM640 permonth! that's even more expensive than flying to KL from Bintulu. but wait! i just found out a lot of people drive out on Thursday, and yes, they give rides, and you pitch in. So, cost optimization on that side. so yeay!

from my initial judgement, Kerteh seems like such a better place than Bintulu. Mainly on the cost of living (i found a room that's RM80/month, but was also told its crazy small, so gonna keep on looking) and also with the new Mesra Mall, there's Starbucks, Secret Recipe, and most of all, GSC/TGV (i dont know which) there! and its new too!! so? YEAY!! Big point there for a movie geek like me.

One of the things was that, insya Allah, a great thing is gonna happen this year and praying for the best of it. and i got a feeling, that's the biggest reason why i'm moved to Kerteh. Sure, it might not be KL, but well, it's closer... somewhat.


Tuesday, April 05, 2011


Well, i was sitting down mellowing once in a while, and at times, i feel that the peak of my youth has been robbed of me because of where i am.

But as much as i wanna complain, i know for a fact there's a reason and my dad keep telling me to recollect where you are now and compare it to those you know who are less fortunate. as much as i'd hate to admit it... he is true and that im in a love hate rship with this place. oh well.

Mega Disaster....

As most of you know, about a month ago, Japan was hit by a mega quake of 9 Rich which implicated to a tsunami which then caused another hazardous disaster of the nuclear plant in which, sadly, is still in the process of recovering and sadly, may never recover.

For a country that's been experiencing tsunamis since we can ever remember, and has come up with numerous interventions & emergency action and response to such a situation, they've lost about 11 thousand to date with 17 thousand still reported missing.

its sad and at the same time eerie on how powerful and amazing the disaster was and it got me thinking (of which i ended up dreaming). if it ever happened close to our shore, of which, im obviously praying that it may never, how are we ever going to mitigate or at least minimize such impact? i was discussing one time with my fellow colleagues on what did they do upon the warning that was given to them, and they all said they were flabbergasted and didnt even know how to react if such incident does happen.

the scarier fact that i work in one of the most hazardous place in the country which can then cause major implication to the nation if such tragedy happen (only slightly smaller scale as compared to a nuclear plant). it really does scare me. and what scares me more is how our country still seem a bit ignorant in developing such plans and mitigations should such things happen, and the fact that the aftershock quakes are starting to happen close to home, ie:- Philippines and Myanmar around 5-6 Rich.

i dreamt that i was stuck in a building after pushing everyone to leave when such incident happen. luckily i woke up before knowing whatever happened to me. to be honest, i dont think id wanna know. some inception thing i wouldnt ever want to learn of. at this point however, all i can ever think of are the safety of those people i love so much in my life.

here's a short fact, the tsunami that happened is an normal sized tsunami which is about 10 meters highs reaching the speed of 800km/hr. seeing how the cars that were driving unknowingly on the road of their coming fate as such disaster happen was very very heart wrecking.

however, scientist are saying that the 10 Rich earthquake has yet to happen, and there's thing called the Mega Tsunami or another one that's called a Meteosunami or sumthing? the waves can go up to 500 - 800 meters caused by major landslides or meteor falling to earth. speed? i have no idea. and in this modern times, it did happen a number of times and one of them was in Alaska (google it up) but thankfully enough, due to the remote area of the location, only two individuals died.

if we're not prepared for the 10 meters ones, are we even prepared for a 500 meters?

all in all, life's too short to be bitter all the time and hold a grudge. i guess being positive is important, as long as we dont piss others at the same time.


Thursday, March 31, 2011

Food for thought....

Well yesterday i was at a local restaurant about to pay for my bill when i saw on the counter something that really caught my eye. something called "Kismis Doa", or "Blessed Raisins". Actually i've seen this on the same counter numerous times only up until yesterday my thoughts started processing it (because before this i was just too busy to notice).

i've learned about this so called "Kismis Doa" since i was in secondary school. but instead of calling it kismis doa, they just call it kismis. we were given in a talk that raisins are a good supplmentary for B-Complex which enhance the thinking process of a brain (i guess?). well, being young and gullible, we took it in and succumb to the idea. back then though, i just bought California raisins.

then wham bam 15 years later (damn im that old), some genius came up with kismis doa. so here comes my thought process... what was the difference with me consuming the normal california raisins? is it because there's a pretty woman on the box? wait a minute, that's a different brand. that's Raisin Brand. California Raisin is where there's a bunch of grapes with deep black voices and sing awesome motown.

anyway, so what's the difference? sure, it's blessed per say? so does its supposed to enhance better then the other normal raisins? wait a minute, lets go back to where the raisins are processed. vineyard, grape, dried, same like normal raisins but unlike others, there another step which is the Doa stage.

here's some intriguing questions
1. a normal nice person with reciting a short prayer for a california raisins, and eating it.
2. a disturbing individual, naughty, messed up, your typical juve, eating the kismis doa.

are you saying that'll change the messed up juve? or are you saying the normal nice person, who says at least the standard Bismillah on his raisins before consuming it will BE the messed juve kid and in turn switching places?

and i think, blessed things should not be sold.... unless they're a wooden stake to be driven into a vampire's heart. am i wrong to think that way? the main concern is Vitamin B complex in the raisins right? why such a person wants to make money that way? and what kinda person buys one anyway? i got a feeling that a lot of people are with me on this one. i believe prayers make a difference, but the ones that are sincere, free, and most of all, if it comes from yourself that has value (aside our parents and loved ones).

till next time....

Sunday, March 06, 2011


oh how much is my life a twist. previously, i went to an interview, super awesome about 4 hours drive still away from my wife, but i'd take it either way. Reason being:-

1. Well, it's 4 hrs DRIVE away. things are still in my control.
2. Despite having less pay due to some allowances removed, i was actually very excited no matter what because i've told myself to start new.

yes... i told myself, what ever the situation, i would want to a fresh start. new motivation. and i accepted. not long after i returned from peninsular, next thing i know, i got another offer (actually two of which i turned down one because it didnt attract me as much). this time, the offer was a project of my own field. the catch is, i still have to be further away from my wife. which is about 2.5hrs flight away. just a bit more than Bintulu. nevertheless... this place has so much mooooore frequent flights to KL. where's the posting i'm talking about? none other than, Kota Kinabalu.

Yes... after almost 17 years being away from Sabah, and being most of the time, either a) tourist b) a lost visitor, there's a huge possibility that i'll be back there again. yes, despite the distance, i've discussed this with dayana and we both agreed that it's best for my career and if i do well, moving to KL after wont be much of a problem. plus, she has more meetings in KK than she has in Bintulu. verdict: if this really happens, then, KK, here i come.

what's not to love? living by the beach, staying with your parents that you havent caught up for a while, making new Sabahan friends, and working out to the max on my favorite jog spot. Yes... oh Allah please let it come true.

i've yet to post my pictures in my recent visit to vietnam. will do when i get the chance =).

have a great week ahead... yeaaaaay monday! ( i can hear almost the 70% of the country's population crying deeply inside).

i'll leave you with a super great video

i bet if i could sing and play the guitar like this, dayana would think im the most sexy man ever... after already being sexy. yes i am.