Hipster's Inner Monologue...

somewhat productive weekend....

Yes... believe it or not... its actually a productive weekend. friday nite i had dinner at green valley after ages i have not been there with my bintulu good friend sza2. then came back... watched some downloaded stuff... NOT PORN... who in the world watches that anyway? so back to my usual watching downloaded stuff... SCRUBS and FAMILY GUY... i was sitting alone in my dark room, strangely enough, i could turn on the lights if i wanted to, but that's how i actually really like it... dark... i dont really like it very dark though, id prefer it to be a lil bit dimmer, just sufficient for me to laze and not be wide awake.

so anyway, saturday morning, i woke up, got dressed, and went out for the community program i signed up for earlier this year. honestly, going there was... somewhat touching, sad, and inspiring at the same time. we were suppose to give a motivational program to sekolah rendah kids, and we had two schools that we adopted, which was SK Kg Jepak, and SK Tatau. initially i wanted Jepak more because its closer, but then... i honestly was quite thankful to be placed in the Tatau group.

It was about 45-60 minutes Bus ride there... and as i stepped in... i saw kids running around, like usual, i was thinkin to myself... sekolah rendah teacher are usually not around. if i was a kid in that class, id probably be reading my gamebook (yes, i have been reading since i was a boy), drawing some oddball cartoon from my fantasy, strangely enough ive always been fascinated by death, skulls, demons figures when i was a kid. weird, but yeap... ive always gotten A-Bs in art classes.

anyway, I was told in the past that SK Tatau was part boarding school. I was actually amazed for parents to send their kids at such a young age to boarding school. I was expecting the boarding school would start for kids at primary 4, they're not too small... and probably has much more sense in surviving. As i was a little worried entering the primary 4 class, i see numerous sets of eyes just watching me smiling, whispering, fingering their nostrils and what not. it seemed okay.

So the facis, started with the program of getting the kids to draw their own faces, and pass it back to us. strangely enough, every girl had the same image of how their faces would look like. weird... but funny. they kept looking at each other, and some of them kept looking at me, wondering how'd their face would look like. i kept telling them 'Kids, muka kamu tuh sik da di muka kawan...' and they giggled. kinda made me smiled. although one kid was fairly annoying, i just smiled, coz they're just being kids....

the pics of the ladies... notice how their pics all look alike? hahaha. with eyelashes and split hairs... hehehe...

and not to forget the little boys... with puppy dog tails and snails....

we then shuffled the pics, and passed it around, and asked them to look for the owner of the pics. we gave them question they need to ask their friends

1) Nama Penuh (full name)
2) Tarikh Lahir (date of birth)
3) Cita2 (Ambition)
4) Hobi (hobby)
5) Pekerjaan Ibu Bapa (parents' occupation)
6) Jumlah Adik Beradik (total number of siblings)

then i asked them what else would they like them to ask their friends. Everyone shouted out almost the same thing, and made me smile so big inside, as i know i was like that as a kid as well in SK Tanjung Aru. So this is their list

7) Makanan Kegemaran (favorite food)
8) Minuman Kegemaran (favorite drink)
9) Artis Pujaan (Celebrity Idol)

So then we assigned them to look for the info, and turned on some music at the same time. the musics they listen to are very Malaysian mainstream, although i really dont like it, but the kids love it... so i just forced myself to listen to it. hehehe. it was that bloody annoying romanian song who, btw, if i could find the creator of the song, id buy a ticket to romania, take two buses and one cab to his place, ring his doorbell, and as he opens the door and say 'Aluu', id smack him in the face with a brick and say 'NOOOOT FUNNYYY!!'. completely worth. okay that was sidetracked. haha.

so after that, we asked the kids to come up front, introducing their friend. two things i learned that time...

1) these kids sure like ayam goreng (fried chicken) A LOT. im sooo weirded out by it. it was either ayam goreng or K.EP.C (KFC).

2) no wonder that Mawi won AF... his practicall on every kid's list of artist pujaan. im like... okayyyyyy. 'the one who should NOT be named' definitely won that AF thingy from kids from this sort of area as he probably relates to them no matter how much i DONT think he's good... AT ALL. but... kids love him... soo... 'belia benci dadah!'

after that, i met the teachers during break. i asked did the boarding school start for primary 4? i got the most shocking question, and just really took my heart, made me breathless, and amazed. they were sent by their families since primary 1. can you imagine? we watch in TVs that primary one kids are struggling their ass off even being dropped off by the parents on the first day!!

The main reason for this was the kids were from deepdown in the heart of bintulu, where its really hard to reach or in other words... pedalaman or ulu. since that is the school that's closest, they are sent to the school to be independent... at the age of 7.... believe it or not. the teacher told me 'saya kesian lihat kanak2 ni... sangat kecil, masih tidak tau untuk menguruskan diri, sudah dihantar ke asrama'. yes... i was chokin inside. i was homesick when i was form 1. how embarassing was that? the kids were sent there, without a lot of stuff on their back, and washed their OWN clothes, NO laundry. at that age. NO irons. they go to school without their shirts being ironed. the teacher told me that usually the first two days of the week, the kids would hve nice clean clothes, but by wednesday til friday, they'd get really dirty, since some of them cant afford too much clothes, heck plus... they're just kids. who washes their clothes but themselves anyway kan?

some kids are lucky, they have siblings in the same school. there's one set of 4 siblings in the school, and the big sister would help their small siblings in primary 1 clean their shirts, cheer them up, take care of them at the same time. yes... in my high school, seniors are only concerned in bullying the juniors and give them the annoyance of their lives. different generations, different schools, different time. amazing.

i couldnt help thinking about this the rest of the day, as i looked at them hum, and laugh doing the assignment we gave them right after. although they had weak capability in english, i just tried my best in giving them the confidence they need. towards the end of the day... i only got to give them my mentos as i wasnt prepared at all for the situation. maybe next time, id buy my own choclates, and share it with them. they need more smiles and know that people around them care about them so much. i cant imagine, if some of these kids DO eventually succeed, and study in good schools, and go to universities, regardless where, and be someone successful later in the future... they REALLY do have story to tell. strong individuals they are... probably even stronger than i am.

which kinda got me thinking... that's one thing i learn being in bintulu... seeing those who are unfortunate than i am... BUT has such a BIG heart, calibre, and strength, that they would survive it such hardships... and still put that smile in their face... thanking every moment, having family, having friends around, or maybe just even the stuff on their back. i may not have family, and not a lot of friends here... but i have the stuff on my back. and mainly my laptop, my hard disk, my ipod, my songs... myself....

yes... i must say... bintulu does have a silver lining. thanks to my newly acquired friend. no matter how shitty things get... try to be positive... no matter how it kills myself inside. i hate optimistic indiviual... only because... they're rite... and i dont have their strength. i should try harvest that. mainly because... these little dirty kids, who smile, and are so far away from the world, and the PM probably doesnt even know of their existence, had given me that view... and heart of being... alive... my days may be sucky... i may not like my job... but fuck it... i'll just do it. i cant wait for my next visit there.

alhamdulillah... im still breathing.......