Frustration again...?

I met up with my boss this morning for a short chit chat and i inquired to him about my recent job interview somewhere in Peninsular.

Not to my surprise, he said that yes, i am releasable, however, maybe i wont be able to move in time for the April thing. "mungkin October kot?" he said. ended with a "kot" just made my knees weak again. i smiled my weak awkward smile, left and feeling completely rejected again for God knows how many times in my life when it comes to job applications. i used to remember, before all this, my only fear of rejection was from meeting up with girls. oh how mistaken i was then.

i just hope, if it really will be October, my management wont change their mind. i'm just tired you know? lonely and tired. next thing you know, they'd go "i'm sorry, we have great plans for you here" of which i'm praying that it wont be the case. id probably jump off a bridge.

i'm just really tired.

i miss KK and yet despite having my offdays on weekends next month, i'm unable to go. because some geniuses decided that they do all this simultaneous trainings and have people who rarely see their family become just further disengaged from them. to think they've learnt their lesson in coordination for the past years... every year.