Bull season....

Well it's the end of the financial year again, and hail the end of year evaluation season. i'm not gonna say much, but i guess this is a difficult season for both the boss and subordinate. 

Subordinate because some of them dont really enjoy listening to the truth why they just dont deserve it. 

Boss because, face it, it's not easy giving "feedback" to your employees the management way, and having someone not liking you and you know is gonna talk shit about you to your co-workers in the most unprofessional way which can eventually turn your life into a living hell. 

either way, all i can remind everyone, act professionally. 

Spend this... Not that!

Right, i have some wish list that i have yet to fulfill. but one of those things that after you spent it, you go... 

"what the fuck did i just spend on?"

one thing i would like to say that i'm not proud of spending on, but i know i want it so bad would be my very very new... Playstation 3. the games are ridiculously expensive, and the main reason i had to buy it because my life here in Bintulu has gotten lamer and lamer. if i do not get that PS3, seriously, my life would get more empty. 

but then there's like other things that i really want to spend on, like, a Desktop? new set of lens for my camera? this is not cool at all. if only i was so rich. great, now im totally talking like a little child wishing he had shitloads of money and spend on 1000 ice-creams for himself. sad. 

Decisions....

Well, next monday will be another interview session that i'll be going through. the thing is, this time around it's gonna be in Kertih instead of in KL where i really want to be. 

but i was talking to my dad for advice last nite, for his prayers and restu. one thing he did tell me, 

"Abang, sit down and think about it deeply, dont be too sad of your current life. think about of how bad it could have been if you are not where you are now, and think of those friends in your past life who did not have as much opportunity as you did. motivate yourself, and pray for the best". 

it's been the most difficult 5 years of my life i have to admit. it has not been easy. but after what my dad said, i may have just ended up ignoring what i've always had. if i didnt end up working here, i'd maybe not end up working at all or just working somewhere that probably wont give me the life i have now (despite the fact that its more working for the money). most of all, id probably wont have known my wife and ended up with psycho miserable person with endless drama. 

i guess, if i really do get this movement to Kertih, sure, it's still 4 hours away from my wife, and sadly, much further from my parents, but things do happen for a reason. i'm hoping there will be new opportunities there, and there will be a new set of motivation to make me a better person. if i do get this transfer, i really need to fight to be better and at least as studious as i was back when i was in high school. i need it back badly. 

well... i guess, the conclusion to the last entry is basically hoping that not only for me, but for everyone out there, what you really want may not come true. when if it doesn't dont give up hope ever. and just delve into something new, make new dreams and make yourself a better person as a whole. i know this is way positive shit, but i have to. this is for me. come on irfan. be a better man.