Bodoh

apakah aku bodoh?
di tengah laut menjadi tambatan,
menunggu bersandirian,
di tenggelami kegelapan,
membuat bodoh yang aku bukan saorang....
mungkin....

APAKAH aku bodoh?
duduk bersaorangan mengharapkan kasih sayang,
hanya mendapat cemuhan,
dipanah tembus tanpa menjadi pantang,
berfikir tapi tidak melaksanakan....
mungkin....

APAKAH AKU bodoh?
terdampar menggigil kesejukan,
sambil mata putih ku timbul terang,
hanya menunggu bantuan ikhlas dalam pelukan,
menggelatar tanpa berfikir panjang....
mungkin....

APAKAH AKU BODOH?
MUNGKIN....

by Mohd Irfan Mahmud
10.53 am Eastern time....

Secrets...

Some people think they know me well... in fact... i somehow am ver surprised how i'm different compared to last time. i may not show it... but there's more to me than what everything seems. this is probably what each man goes through at one point of their life. however... i think too much... right now, what i know is everything... but i know what i know is not everything. lies. everyday i live a lie. in denial... in depression. but it is what i choose... and what keeps me standing. as much as i hate to admit it... this is what i want... for now and would do anything not to change it for a while.

Troy Pub...

I went to a department xmas party at the Troy pub. I must say its my first experience being in a real pub. funny. heh. everyone was drinking... and i was drinking LEMONADE real one... for only 1.25, and during happy hour, others pay for their beer, i dont pay for my lemonade. my friend ended up drunk, and started asking weird questions why dont i drink. malas sungguh nak jawab. anyway... ended up being my first sober driver experience. haha. well... rasberry and cherry is all i can say.

Condemned....

These insecurities....
This lie....
These depths of darkness....

Drowning away all the possibilities....
Not fighting and just willing to die....
Leaving nothing but insecurities....

Why must we lie?
All needed is the truth to make us smile...
it is not something we could just pass by...
and just keep it till we die....
Why?

Tired....

I dont think I should complain... everyone is facing the same exact mood during last week of class and finals as well. Its normal. But instead of counting the number of shitty days i'll have, i'm counting down the hopefully kick ass days for my holidays. These times its best not stay alone in the room before you really go crack, and have a friend or two you could at least chill when you need to let off some steam.

Snow....

I know it snowed once for this winter season already, but i refuse to call that snow because it was just gone the next day. this right now, IS snow. relaxing, refreshing thick. well, at least it refreshing and relaxing for a couple of days, until the snow turn icky, yucky and black.

Capoeira... boa... Jen BOA....

heheh... nawaal jek paham. I've got a new hot friend who is not stuck up, and digs asian. too bad its my last year here....

Thoughts....

Di saat waktu berhenti... Kosong....
Dimensi membutakan mata, memekakkan telinga....
Lalu diri menjadi hampa....
Saat paradigma dunia tak lagi di gunakan utk menerka....
Sadarku akan hadir mu mematahkan sendi-sendi yang biasa tegak berdiri....

Sometimes we feel ignored... maybe we just are....
but probably we're just in denial putting the truth away so far....
Oblivious to the voices the winds carry... caring less of what they say....
alone is probably what our future holds... if we live in this lie we say "my life" day by day....

I'm sooooooo Lost right now....

Reality Bites....

Before i get busy with my finals and shit, i felt like writing. let's see how long it goes. I was working last night driving down with my newly written CD, and one of the songs were by Blind Melon, No Rain. Suddenly it struck me... this song will soon be considered as an oldie. Wouldn't it be weird, one day, as you're sitting down in your car, driving off to work after dropping your 2nd kid off at school and thinking about your eldest kid at boarding school, when suddenly Hitz.FM played Nirvana "Where did you sleep last nite" and continuing with Usher "My Boo" later on with the DJ of the segment introducing it as "I love to 90's hour". By then you were already humming and singing to the song. Only to figure out... back then when you were in high school/college that was what you know was a cool song to listen to, while the teens of that days, start squirming to get out of the room as you talk about the singers or listen to their song. by then probably the men would start having their belly hanging above their belts and smoking a cig saying "Damn... i remember that song." or the women probably start having wider hips and saying to their kids, "Haaa jgn tukar station tuh, mak nak dengar... giler cool". Ntah2, the term "giler" or "cool" is not even the word your kids are using and they'll start saying "tolong laa jgn guna perkataan tuh in front of my friends mom". as hard as it may grasp, probably the only thing you could change of this fact of reality is, your physical, if you work out, and take care of what you eat, you'd probably end up fit, but still having to know that the songs you listen to is not cool anymore. reality bites....

Writing....

Well some of my writings are kind of expressive, a lot hate, but i consider writing as a part of art, opinion, expression, and how the writer perceives the world as the way they see it. I have read hate writings, mushy writings, irritating writings, but its their expression, i may mock some of them, but what i think doesnt really matter, its what the writers think matters. they should not be influenced by comments or critics from other writers. it isnt consider wuss, a coward, but more to how they perceive about your writing. Its like Sun Tzu's Art of War, (i havent read it yet, just an example), a million people have their comments on it, some agree, some think its stupid, does Sun Tzu gives a Fuck? well aside from the fact that he's dead, he probably doesn't. because those a million people still read his book. another example, Mario Puzo wrote the Godfather that lead to the movie, some people loved it, some people doesnt. does he give a fuck if people hated it? no, because people who hated it still read his book, and plus... he made millions of money out of it. shit, wished i had a dollar for every visit here.... damn it...

Finals....

Anyway, finals is pretty close, (i felt like using "just around the corner" but it sounds cliche and probably high school kids who's taking PMR probably uses it), so good luck to all, and insya allah good luck to me.

Thanksgiving Break....

It was a great thanksgiving break. I must say, that was one of the best event MASA ever held for Hari Raya. Being apart of Kampung Teluk Teroy just makes me so proud. awwww. Very creative and interesting, especially with the iklan of all scholars, and the utusan raya to students from family kat mesia. I probably make a really bad host, but i still had a great time doing it.

Alexander The Great... or is he?

So, in celebrating Jebat's bday, we went to see the up and coming movie Alexander the Great. Being taught about Iskandar Zulkarnain, it kinda sparked me to learn about him more through the movies. but the first thought of seeing Collin Farrell acting as him has already put me off a little... until i saw the movie. I must say i love the first war scene of the movie, where it was a war in a desert. i've never seen an archaic movie where the war scene is in a desert. so to me it was pretty cool. but then the movie starts to get draggy, bored and here's why i think they casted collin farrell as the Great Alexander... if you want to watch the movie, and not know any spoilers of the movie, proceed to the next section.

Alexander the great was gay. he got married to rosario dawson, i dont know what her name was in the movie, but she has really huge pengetuk pintu. perrgh. that was the ONLY real action. and it wasnt even actual action. the rest was half naked gay looking men hugging, kissing, dancing around alexander. at one point i really couldnt take it, and i thought i was the only one. but as i looked back, a lot of young men like me turned to each other and said "What the fuck are you making me watch man??" The movie was actually like you're looking at a pentomime with a loooot of voice over of someone telling the story and you listening to it. I'd say it sucked. okay, but still... kinda sucked. to me... if you want to watch it, go ahead. it's probably worth your money, but you'd feel like stabbing your eyes with a fork... unless you're a stupidly disgusting fag.

So, kerana ke "tidak puas hati" an aku, i went back to check on the real facts of Iskandar Zulkarnain, the one who was mentioned in the Quran. Well actually i didnt check the facts immediately. the thing just haunted me a few days, then i called my mom and brought up the topic and mention that last year she watched jejak rasul and it is said that Iskandar Zulkarnain is NOT Alexander the Great. So after the long talk with my mom, then i went on google, and checked it out. there are actually disputes of deciding who was actually Iskandar Dhol Qarnayn. Some say he is actually Darius the Great, some say he is actually Cyrus the Great, some people still believe that Alexander the Great is him. Some ppl who read about him stated that (forgive me if im wrong, i probably got it the wrong way), Alexander the Great Travelled East then West back to India, while Iskandar travelled West then East. I dont know if he stopped by India though. Also, there was not much writing about Alexander the great trapping Yajuj Majuj. actually i didnt stumbled upon it myself. but i think it was either Cyrus, or Darius the Great, had a story about trapping the Yajuj Majuj, or in the bible also known as Gog Magog. I went through it couple of days, being restless after watching the movie, because it is completely opposite of what i've learned, only to come up with one conclusion for myself. Alexander is Alexander, Iskandar is a different guy. The history may not go into much about Iskandar, but knowing that it is in the Quran, and he was a pious person, was already sufficient enough. I wouldnt want to say who is actually Iskandar, for I dont know, only He knows, so from spreading wrong teachings, might as well i just stick to the Quran.

Please is anyone knows about this, dont hesitate to tell me, because i would love to learn more about Iskandar and the real facts of him.


Amazing Race, MASA style....

next day after the Raya celebration ( i refused to call it eid celebration unless a non malaysian who does not know BM comes in and saya eid mubarak to me) We had the Eksplorasi Masa. It was raining, and everyone was struggling carrying water in their mouths, by then i found that Taroi and Elle has really big mouths, and Abe has a small one, (i dont know which is better though), then they had to struggle running up the hill in the HEAVY rain, with lightning and thunder coming down every minute. and i thought driving was hard. but i wished i was running with them. i love heavy rain. makes you feel like you're in war. then there was acting, i think next time if this acting thing is applied, there should be more booths so people dont have to wait too long. by this time it is a sure win for the top three who completed it first, coz some people just take too long to practice. not saying that they are incompetent, but the rain, the chill, and the running just took the energy out of them, and the probably need time to rejuvenate. but at least we know now. then there was the makan nasi satu pot. how i wish i could see people struggled. hahaha. that was the only part i really really wanted to see. the last obstacle was shooting basketball in a hoop 5 times, or swinging a hockey ball into a net.

in the end, congratulations to the top three teams.

Thanksgiving Dinner....

tahun nih, i made dua ketul ayam turkey. well i didnt do it alone, and both of the kosher turkey was provided by the three pretty girls of 81 albright. i must say the two turkeys were nice golden, and a success. i only had on plate of it though. have no idea why. later that nite amin brought his karaoke up from philly. i cant really sing, but i had fun though.

in the end....

it was a great holiday, although waking up really early every morning during holiday is really depressing, but it was a late weekend though so that's pretty cool. now its back to school, had my great capoeira last nite (my escape), and all in all... just would want to wish have a great break to everyone.....

well... i know its late, but malaysian reality, nih baru nak masuk raya ke empat, and ikut kata melayu, 'raya kan sebulan'. so dgn kata2 itu, ingin saya mengambil kesempatan, mengucapkan ribuan ampun dan maaf, to anyone i've ever offended, ever dissed, ever talked about accidentally or not behind their back. to one individual, i dont think you're reading this, but really, im very sorry for everything, and wish it never happened as well. to my family, i love you guys, i dont even know if you guys are reading this, but i love you guys so much, just i dont really show it or say it. Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Strangely enough, this has to be one of the worst ramadhan, if not, the worst, for me. maybe unlike anyone who is excited that its already syawal, i didnt feel like celebrating at all. i think only org yang layak celebrate raya are the ones who really2 utilized it to the fullest. and sadly, im not one of them. i regret it, but insya allah, i'll do my best for next year's ramadhan.



well, just finished capoeira. i must say, this is one of the best martial arts ive ever taken after silat. i cant say that i CAN kick someone's ass, but at least i know i would when the right time comes. its good work out, it hurts, pain on the thighs and the back, but yupp... i love capoeira.

at the end of capoeira, this guy, (paham2 laa kan american nih suka bercakap tetiba kat ntah saper) started to bring up a topic that doesnt really have an impact to my life, but it did make me smile.

The guy A is the one who brought up the topic.
A: you know what's one of the strangest coincidence in human history ever?
B: what?
A: a japanese guy from japan, wakes up one day, and figured that he's going to start a game, with two italian plumbers, named mario and luigi, and both of them live in Brooklyn.
B: but i thought mario was from donkey kong
A: yes but, still, it was the japanese guy who thought of that. i dont think a japanese guy would come up with that crapt today.

I smiled, not knowing whether to acknowledge that strange comment, but somehow, there could be a little truth in it. i think.

dah nak masuk setengah bulan dah puasa. so anyway, i've had some shitty comments regarding some stuff but i just kept it in me so long that i dont remember what to say anymore. okay let's see what i remember...

international fest...
hmmm... ntah... dikir was well... okay. i'm still wondering though how'd the indians could sing in their native toungueand nobody's complaining. well i see it this way though, international fest is to promote our origins, culture roots, and aper2 lagik yang kaitan camtuh. last time i remember there was an issue where we tried to go somewhat traditional in the Asian awareness weekend but sadly the american asians prefer to promote asian americans, and not asian asian. and some of us kinda think that was rather stupid thing to think about it. but anyway, i just figured this out after the international fest, and should've gave my suggestion earlier. maybe could be useful for next year's event. for international fest stick more to the tradionational way to promote our homeland and the pure malaysian culture because more malaysians attend, more elderly people attend and more families attend. for AAW, kalau nak american kan malaysian kita sehabis nyer sila lah, coz less malaysian attend, less families, and almost no little kids. truthfully i was kinda sad for the international fest this year. kinda shocked no food and all. yes mmg kita nak hormat org puasa, tapi apsal saudi jual makanan? pakistan jual makanan? morocco jual makanan? dont take it harsh, this thing has passed, just something to think about for next year at least, although im not here anymore.

ignorant....
i think ive been really ignorant for keeping up too much with the excitement of Akademi Fantasia. yes they were taught to perform, and yes ppl like them, and yes we see them live everyday. now AF's finished, like other reality cast in this world, they are nothing but has been. tengok AF 1, setakat vince nyanyi cam katak, muka tak hensem (hey, im not saying i look better than him, but there a million guys who sound AND look better than the dushbag). ive never watched AF 1, but what i know, they are terikat dgn contract with Astro, and now making ananda krishnan worth more than ever. yes i admit i watched it a lot too. but because somehow everyone was watching it until i get caught i the stupid hype itself and sinking to the stupidness until i myself get dipped into it. the only thing i really like about it is the malay songs that ive never heard before and kinda looking for something malayish to listen to. but then came in malaysian idol. honestly, i dont watch msian idol. but then i saw the final video, and shit, their singing are way way much better than AF. what an ass was i. nih af siap ada class lagik. ah fuck it. its human interest, doesnt involve my life unless someone i know is on the stage.

screen names....
seriously, i think a lot agree with me... what is up with ppl expressing their love with each other on the MSN. ex:- "Hantu... alalala cayang u gak walaupun u nyer hidung cam babi" or "Unta... ingat tak arinih kita makan ice cream cama2?"... BUTOH. unless dalam satu msgr kau tuh just you and your significant other, nobody else gives a fuck. ppl just feel more icky and disgusting. please be considerate. well, kalau nak letak tgh down pasal exam ke, happy dpt kambing ke, org lain sumer tak kesah sgt. but when it comes to intimate feelings, really... Wut the fuck? sorry laa kalau ada tersinggung, but seriously, dont be ignorant. i think you'd feel the same if somebody else is using the same concept as well.

WWTP....
i just got back from albany waste water treament plant on monday... best field trip ever... involves a lot of shit... and i ended up smelling like shit. literally. but i know a lot more ppl who blurts out a lot of shit, and that smells fucked up. they think they know everything, abis gempak laa bleh buat itu ini. ntah2 aper dier buer tuh satu dicipta, unoriginal, and claim original. bleh la pegi mampus. kau bagus sgt, pegi balik, buat negara sendiri, buat peraturan sendiri, kau lah raja, kau lah puteri, kau lah taik kambing. terima kasih.

annoying....
really... ada one thing aku seriously tak suka. org yang gelarkan awek2 dierang atau awek2 org 'bini'. seriously, ada masalah ke? annoying laa motherfucker. lahabau mcm nih seriously takdek respect utk awek dier, utk awek org lain. tak kawin tuh takyah laa buat mcm you own her or the guy owns the girl. abis manly laa nak panggil 'bini'. bunyi cam taik kambing ada laa. selagi bapak minah tuh tak cakap 'aku serah kan anak aku, kepada kau, jembalang bin kepala hangguk' jgn nak claim bini. another thing, buat camtuh, especially kalau buat kat aku, and tak rapat dgn aku, biler2 jekk aku bleh baling sandal kat muka. pastu masa kau terblank kene baling tuh, masa tuh laa aku buat miero de frenchi kat penyawa kau. there's a wall between personal and public. this relationship thing, selagi ko tak dalam inner circle aku, jgn berani nak tanya. pastuh jgn pandai2 nak amik tau and bagi comment. butoh awal2 aku cakap.

another thing, aku paling menyampah, org2 guna benda personal kutuk kat public. nih libat kan relationship problem ke, family problem ke, friendship problem ke, aper2 yang personal. butoh laa. depan public ko address aku pasal what ever personal shit ive done, jgn harap aku nak layan kau mcm member pasnih. mampus aa kau satu skolah rendah ke, satu alam shah ke, satu uniten ke, kau makan taik kambing ke, jgn harap aku nak ada respect utk org cam kau. i know much more about you. really, more than you can think about. i just dont go telling others about it. anytime bleh jekk nak bring u down prick. anytime.

aaaaand that concludes for my bitchin for a while..... selamat berpuasa. heheh.

anyway, some ppl has been spreading rumours about me, that i hit a girl. honestly, tak pernah lagik pukul pompuan kat sini, even laki pun tak pernah. selagi its not in any of my martial arts class... tak pernah. at least not yet alhamdulillah. and never will insya allah. so jgn pepandai nak buat assumption tonggek taik kambing camtuh. :). saper buat that rumour mmg seriosly takdek self dignity, self respect, and just a pure dick/bitch. :). have a greaaaaaat ramadhan!!!


top ten richest men in malaysia....

1.Robert Kuok

2.T. Ananda Krishnan

3.Quek Leng Chan (Hong Leong Malaysia)

4.Lim Goh Tong (Genting Group)

5.Teh Hong Piow (Public Bank)

6.Lee Shin Cheng (IOI Corporation)

7.Syed Mokhtar Albukhary (AlBukhary Foundation)

8.Mustapha Kamal Abu Bakar (MK Land Holdings)

9.Lim Kok Thay (Genting Group)

10.Tiong Hiew King (Rimbunan Hijau Group)

There are nine new faces in this year's 40 richest list, among others are #19 Dr Jeffrey Cheah (Sunway Group), #20 Abdul Hamed Sepawi (Naim Cendera/Ta Ann Holdings Bhd) and #27 Hasmi Hasnan (Naim Cendera).

amazingly, the top four, is way richer than JK Rowling. haha. amazing. just not as famous.

selamat berpuasa semua. i'll try my best to lessen the usage of four letter words and other related curses. observe the word TRY. no promises. hee hee. ramadan mubarak!!

hiking...

i just got back from a quite memorable hiking trip with some of the guys yesterday. how was it? well... basically, i WAS an avid hiker before i graduated from Alam Shah. I must say going back to nature has to be one of the coolest thing one could ever do. But then, life isnt as flexible as it used to be. BODY and SOUL. especially body. the nature was nice. you see the fall, the nice brisk, the manly conversations at the earlier stops. I've never experience being lost before, and we were lost last nite. damn. first one wasnt that scary. the second really was. the third time was pretty much okay than the second. it was getting pretty dark, as we were hoping to get back before dusk. as fun as it was, the track got rocky and rockier every descend. heh. by the time it was getting dark, everything was getting quite shitty. the only thing that was falling at that point were our legs, the 'nice brisk' started to become fuckin freezing, and the manly conversations converted to no conversations, but comments or questions 'uish, lama sial' or 'babi, biler nak sampai nih?'. heh. but was it fun? after going through all that, yes it was fun. would i do it again? yes, but this time i'll pack sufficiently. torch light, knife, rope, extra socks, energy bar, choclate bars, energy drinks. all that. well, i think personally we got lost couple of times, maybe we were boasting of the fact the forests here arent like the jungles in Malaysia. nak kencing kene mintak izin, no swearing, no shouting, you had to respect the forest. we nearly did exactly all the opposite. heh. pasnih tak nak cakap besar dah. and i'll try to be there before sunrise.

poyo...

okay, i used to work at this citgo gas station with this old bangladeshi guy with his wife and son. i ended up quitting the job firstly because i was selling alcohol, but mostly because his son told me to charge extra cash to some innocent individual so they could compensate from a person who just took off with their gas without paying. aint that shitty. another thing i kinda disliked so much was the father. he kept stressing that country comes first from god. business comes first from god. money comes first from god. btw, i didnt think i mentioned it before... the family are muslim. the only reason i go to the gas station now is just pop in say hi, and fill up air for my tires, since other gas station's air pump is either out of order, or they just dont have one. so right before im typing this i went there to fill up air for my tires and popped in to say hi. what he said completely annoyed me and made me decide to look for another air pump here in troy. i dont know where but i'll find it. he started with a question 'how's malaysia? good?' i answered with a smile yes. and then he started saying that he read in the paper that a lot of muslim in malaysia are killing each other and bombing ppl everywhere. then my face was flushed. he just ticked me off. i felt like showing him the finger. but instead i answered with a smile, no, nothing like that ever happened in malaysia. he then told me that he read that thing in the newspaper and stressed that muslim ppl are no good. okay, im not such a good muslim, i confess. but still i have that belief. kinda pissing me off and i said no. i had to stay since he was still holding my money for change. if not i was gone just like that. than he started with the fact that muslim has no unity. that, i have to agree. why? last time ive heard this imam said in jumaat while in the uk. muslim everywhere in the world arent that united. tarikh nak tetapkan puasa pun tak boleh sepakat. ni kan pulak nak united. kalau satu negara tuh dah setuju nak puasa hari nih, konon nyer, tetiba ada plak org nak puasa sehari awal, dier kata org lain kat negara dier puasa sehari awal, tak pun org lain sekaum dier puasa sehari lambat, tak pun dua hari lambat. now that is a problem. anyway, it is true anyway, dah hujung zaman. umat islam mula berpecah belah. but still islam is islam and that is my belief, so im sticking to it. dont ask me why, or cakap 'ah poyo nak mampus aa mamat nih. bullshit. macam fucker aper dier cakap. baik aku dengar cakap monyet tepi jalan. dosa buat gak.' fuck you i dont care. ko ingat ko perfect sgt? butoh. anyway, this bangladeshi guy started saying 'i think in this world all very religious muslims, are no good.' personally i thought it was Bullshit, so then i started defending what i think, smiled took my money and just went off. really, not going to fill up my air there for a while....

Miserable....

Today is somewhat an unexisting day to me. lately my life has been moving past so fast, that i feel like everything is happening in the blink of an eye. woke up in the middle of my sleep, and i lie here in bed, all alone, i cant mend, and only hoping my tomorrow will be okay.

HipHop....
I was once a great hiphop fan when i was back home in Malaysia. listening to tupac, bone thugs, cursing angrily at ppl telling how they want to shoot 'niggaz' and motherfuckers and smoking weed was somewhat makes me feel like im livin large. That was then. lately as i drive into my life in the morning and turning on the radio, i would then turn off the radio, and listen to my old cds. why? as i flip on from channel to channel, i hear thumping bass, and the same fucking concept of women shaking their asses, men looking for women for pleasure, party up with their bling bling all out to the nite. same shitty concept for the past four years ive been here. kepala banar. sorry to the hiphop fans. but personally, im praying for the day hiphop's legacy ends up like disco. DEAD. it just starts to get annoying. look at the video, and you'd see the same stupid thing. i may like some hiphop song, but mainly because its different. Black Eyed Peas, Eminem (well now it just seems the cliche for eminem. yes from your first album we already now how you want to kill your mother and bury her at the backyard. no need to say that in ALL your albums). I watched a short clip of Chris Rock, and it really was informational. there are to types of black people. there are black people, and the niggers. that's what he said. black people are the ones who are trying to change the concept of cliche blacks, when you live in the ghetto, you dont have to rob, you dont have to be gangsta. but there's nothing worse than white trash. now that's scary. well at least to Chris Rock. I'm not from the ghetto, but having to deliver pizza for nearly 3 years to the ghetto, the hood, i know how to differentiate between nigger and blacks. im not trying to be racist. but its just a fact. true fact. and nih org malaysia nak ikut. bodoh nak mampus. ingat jadik hiphop abis cool la. selagi tak asal sini, tak grow up sini, tak payah laa nak pandai2 jadik mat rap mat hiphop. if you look at the mirror you'd see an ass. Basically same thing as skinhead kat mesia. Come on laa wey. kat sini skinhead racist ke atas all non-white. yang korang nak amik idealogi to apsal. mak bapak ko tuh melayu. org asia. dgr lagu taper laa. tak payah laa nak ngada.

ah... fuck it. i shouldn't even be saying all this. bak kata sorang member aku yang agak mengada dulu.... 'alaaa dah besar, biar laa org buat silap dierang sendiri'. it seems less caring, but i think its true. but i work it differently. sound sekali. then fuck it.

hahaha... thus it has been another chapter of my life. lama giler tak update. why? coz i was doing nothing, so, when doing nothing, you're just plain... lazy. some sort of summary of what's been happening lately in my life. its summer, after my last update, we had that midwest thingy, after the midwest thingy, we had that paintball thingy which was awesome. then next we had... ermmm... well... nothing. but there were a lot of hanging out and watching movies. and my bestest buddy went back to malaysia and now just missing her and her gang. elle, jangan makan banyak2 nanti bonch. so im going back to malaysia. went back already last time, but still pysched. just cant wait. haha. coz if i stay here and do nothing, i'll be wasting money and just sitting down getting malnutriotioned. kesian giler bebudak sini, takdek makananan. kebulur siut. duit takdek, tenaga utk masak takdek. makan maggi ngan telur tetiap hari. tak pun kalau hari yang best sket, makan nasi putih ngan kicap. pergggh.... well last week, out of the spur of the moment i agreed to teman foi meet his aunt in philly by driving there. jebat and fatah followed. this the fun part. we missed the exit. and accidentally sampai Washington DC. serious. but the coolest thing is kat DC ada great 4th of July celebration everywhere. but we didn't really watch the fireworks. we ended up sitting and watching the fireworks on our way back. to Atlantic City!!! huyeaaah. cool giler. gambled it lil bit. just for the fun of it. bukan table. table tak mampu aaa. tuh dah mmg taik judi giler. just went to the slot machines. damn. setan mmg jahat. pandaaaai jekk nak tarik org. memula dier bagi kiterang menang. at one point... menang jadik gian. gian jadik kalah. kalah jadik abis investment kiterang. ahahah. kick ass. seb baik abis 7 bucks jekk. on the way back to troy, we went to woodbury, did some shopping for the family, and enjoyed every single bit of the whole trip. hehe. but all in all, the trip would be better if the apizha, elle, ninie would be there. hahahah. well going back this sunday. tak tau laa rajin idak kat sana. kalau tak, tunggu sampai class start laa gamak nyer. anyway, HAPPY BDAY JULIE!!!! here are some cool pics for the past tak update....

after our nite with the incubus



foi kat DC



me n apizha at paintball



comel



me and foi from band of brothers



after paintball



origami that i made by myself with the help of an old nice japanese woman



fishing 2004



Taroi kene saman... eheh, pasal per? tanya taroi...



couple comel



start midwest



winners for basketball women division



hazrat n me



myn comel n me



wanita wanita comelllll



bahiyah n me



ferr n putri n me



dinosaurs arrrr



tonyookkkss



nice sunny day in DC



lincoln memorial



its good to be... donald trump



depan white house



encik lincoln



after paintball again...



check you out next time... take care.. and have a grrrreaaat summerr....

Oraitss... It's been a while. hehe. why? coz i just had too much stuff to do. finals, work, moving out, moving in, and just a lot of other blaass. muahahah. so what's new lately? i got my job at the MRC, doing research on allergen, and updating every study i can to improve mankind's immunity to these allergens, which could involve pollen, aerosol, second hand cat dust exposure, dust, IgE-mediated, bla bla bla and lots of other blaaa. muahaha. tell you the truth, still blur ngan aper yang aku buat research.

Then around a week after finals, we had a surprise birthday for my dearest girl, shazatul rina. happy 21st birthday!! although kau dah tua, kau masih bebudak dalam hati aku. (chewaaaah!! eat that shah reza!!) anyway, rina skang dok kat exxon mobile berkerja buat hari kedua hari nih, dan semakin bahagia dgn en jon. (cis kau jon). miss you so much, hope to see you soon dear!! jgn makan byk sgt, nnt aku jumpa kau, aku bantai gelak jekk kalau kau makin berisi. the japanese restaurant (well its japanese but run by chinese), was sooooo f'in cool!! best giler!! i think the chef are trained assassins. they threw their knives like they were throwing pencils in the air and cathing them back. and played with fire, and damn, it was just awesome. bought something that rina wanted dulu, hope you enjoy the DVD. hugss...

So, anyway, the next thing i did later that week was send rina and david to newark, in a hot looking volvo!! bleh control volume, cd, sumer kat steering wheel. pastuh ada sunroof, leather seats, bau gajah lagi tuh seats dier. and then after sent rina to the airport, we went to shopping with kerk izzy kesayangan, and went to nyc to eat, which was of course tak lain tka bukan en penang. perrggh. konyang eden.

Next, we went to see Troy, and hmmm somehow, i think personally, Last Samurai has a better impact on me. not only that, i feel that Eric Bana's character Hector is way way better than Achilles. but the story was pretty good. but ive seen better. Then the day after we went to see... SHREK 2. now, THAT is a GREAT movie!! the animation is already so obviously awesome as we see in SHREK, but this time with a plus, a hot great story line, with an addition of a cool funny character, mr PUSS IN DE BOOTS played by no other than mr.zorro, antonio banderas. the setting of the area was also funny, having starbucks, versachery, burger king, all around the Kingdom far far away, which, not just figuratively, but literally, Kingdom Far Far Away. great show to bring in the kids and family, and well actually all ages.

We also had the grad nite which personally i think has to be the coolest graduation nite ive ever encountered, with the oscar style event, having read the nominess, being the seniors' chauffer, and great performances by amri's band, the men in black, poetry by irah, and our sketch. however... being the critique i am, there is one main part of the event that i think should have been improved, as i think the whole nite was a complete success except for one mistake. but pulut dah jadi bubur pulut hitam. there's always next year to improvise. all in all, you seniors deserved it. congrats!!

then there is also the commencement. kali nih, takdek STEALTH!! bugger!! i was expecting a stealth flying over. tapi sedih sungguh takdek. and the speaker was well, not bad, okay, not bad, but last year was better. the funny thing was right at the end of the event, terus hujan lebat. haha. but the penutup for the gempakss... IKAN TERUBUK TIGA EKOR PANJANG SATU HASTA!! perrggghh.... bakar, makan sambal asam, kicap, nasi putih, perggghhh. thanks to the chef taroi and julie dearest. that was definitely a great meal!! makes me have that feeling to go fish again. muahahah. taroi eat trash!!

pastuh pindah randah. damn, my back hurts so bad after the pindah randah. entah baper bijik fridge we brought up, 3-4 flights of stairs. come on laaa RPI nih kan engineering university, cant they build an elevator?? sheeessh!! banyak giler laa barang ktierang. i think because of the fact that we never moved out for nearly two whole years. lagik2 laa amri, 3 thn. cant wait to move back in colonie, and have the whole Colonie A apartments to myself n just hush. however, dok kat sharp hall is not that bad either. i have missed that feeling of duduk ramai2, and feeling like i was back in High school. dok ramai2 tengok tv, dok ramai sembang2, it was something.

Lastly the coming midwest. cant wait for midwest. ran everyday, went to the team bola nyer fitness training which, i think really benefits everyone, no matter how tiring it gets. i think it was just awesome. and then tolong team basketball main, and then shot some hoops by myself, cant wait to play. i dont even know if im playing or not, but alaaa dapat main jekk laaaa. huyeaaaah. anyway, catch you guys later... dont know how later, yeah.... huyeaaaaah.....

here are some view of what happened in the past nearly 1 month

amin n me on commencement



me foi n jaja



tayar pancit kat tempat cool



tgh tukar tayar



berpindah randah



berpindah randah lagik



org2 buangan



grad nitee oscar special



amin tido after grad nite



hokkaido baby!!



rina dearest, happy birthday baby!!



young and dangerous



now... lastly, EVERYBODY HAS THE LOVE FOR AVIATOOOOR. monster dog boleh jalaan. muahahahaha













everybody looks hot in the aviator. muahahah

So, anyway, nak dengar citer best tak?? haha... okay here goes....

So semlm i went to Shalimar Restaurant, and when i finished my lunch, as i was going out, i passed these group of people, and then one of them stopped me. so it went like this

A: Hey, wait a minute, you're the guy from the AAW right?
Irfan: huh? (starting to blush) haha. yes i am.
A: Johan right? WOW you're sooooo GOOD!!

and then B comes in

B: if i was the girl i would not dump you!!
A: yes!! that was a great performance
Irfan: errrr... heh... thanks.....

and i left the store... damn smiling. that there my friends, was a "brad pitt" moment. hahaha. cool takk? huyeaaah. next stop hollywood baby!!

Btw, arituh bbq, took a lot of great pics!! (well not me only laaa sha is the great photographer! touche!!)

BTW SORRY ORG2 DARI MALAYSIA NAK TENGOK GAMBAR NIH, MESTI LAG. cant help it. if you want it personally, just email me okay.

Lana comel n i



Rina lawa n i



Rina mata lalat



ija and jebat



Aviator....



Me n elle



abe baling frisbee



wachaa



ellias cacat



chewah2



nih masa petronas gath

grunge gilerr



smart giler



nih masa geo field trip



meredith yg baik (but mulut dierr... sheesh kalau laki, would not hesitate to tell u to fuck off... hahaha)




kalau nak lagi pegi laa mahmum!!!