PDA....

sometimes, once in a while, people do PDA. yes, it's sickening to most, but sometimes, i guess we just kinda want to let it out.

However, doing it all the time, on your facebook, on your blog, on your twitter is just mad ridiculous. once a week sure.

and also, dont baby talk with all the symbols and shit. there's thing called "personal text messaging", "email" and a "fucking bedroom".

simple PDA is acceptable. peck on the lips/cheek = OK. Not tonguing or continuous touchy feeling. Simple messages would suffice. again... not every fucking day or some of those more chronic ones, every 5 fucking minutes.

btw... i have the most adorable loving wife. thank you.

Sucks....

it's a Friday night....

1. I'm working tomorrow

2. I'm still doing some work right now despite being sleepy because i need to touch up on my subordinates' evaluation. sucks to know that they're actually supposed to do this themselves, but apparently, here in this company, it's ok to do work FOR your subordinates because if you dont the higher powers will be pissed off at you. 

3. Sucks to know that when i'm doing this, and if they do get their merit, if you're lucky, 10% would come and say thank you. if not, give it 5%. 

4. I miss my wife and life 's fucking empty and demotivating without having her around. 

have a great fuckin weekend guys. 

Bull season....

Well it's the end of the financial year again, and hail the end of year evaluation season. i'm not gonna say much, but i guess this is a difficult season for both the boss and subordinate. 

Subordinate because some of them dont really enjoy listening to the truth why they just dont deserve it. 

Boss because, face it, it's not easy giving "feedback" to your employees the management way, and having someone not liking you and you know is gonna talk shit about you to your co-workers in the most unprofessional way which can eventually turn your life into a living hell. 

either way, all i can remind everyone, act professionally. 

Spend this... Not that!

Right, i have some wish list that i have yet to fulfill. but one of those things that after you spent it, you go... 

"what the fuck did i just spend on?"

one thing i would like to say that i'm not proud of spending on, but i know i want it so bad would be my very very new... Playstation 3. the games are ridiculously expensive, and the main reason i had to buy it because my life here in Bintulu has gotten lamer and lamer. if i do not get that PS3, seriously, my life would get more empty. 

but then there's like other things that i really want to spend on, like, a Desktop? new set of lens for my camera? this is not cool at all. if only i was so rich. great, now im totally talking like a little child wishing he had shitloads of money and spend on 1000 ice-creams for himself. sad. 

Decisions....

Well, next monday will be another interview session that i'll be going through. the thing is, this time around it's gonna be in Kertih instead of in KL where i really want to be. 

but i was talking to my dad for advice last nite, for his prayers and restu. one thing he did tell me, 

"Abang, sit down and think about it deeply, dont be too sad of your current life. think about of how bad it could have been if you are not where you are now, and think of those friends in your past life who did not have as much opportunity as you did. motivate yourself, and pray for the best". 

it's been the most difficult 5 years of my life i have to admit. it has not been easy. but after what my dad said, i may have just ended up ignoring what i've always had. if i didnt end up working here, i'd maybe not end up working at all or just working somewhere that probably wont give me the life i have now (despite the fact that its more working for the money). most of all, id probably wont have known my wife and ended up with psycho miserable person with endless drama. 

i guess, if i really do get this movement to Kertih, sure, it's still 4 hours away from my wife, and sadly, much further from my parents, but things do happen for a reason. i'm hoping there will be new opportunities there, and there will be a new set of motivation to make me a better person. if i do get this transfer, i really need to fight to be better and at least as studious as i was back when i was in high school. i need it back badly. 

well... i guess, the conclusion to the last entry is basically hoping that not only for me, but for everyone out there, what you really want may not come true. when if it doesn't dont give up hope ever. and just delve into something new, make new dreams and make yourself a better person as a whole. i know this is way positive shit, but i have to. this is for me. come on irfan. be a better man. 

Clutter....


i've been in this place now coming to my sixth year. currently im so sick but i cant afford to take annual leaves. there's so many weddings i have to go to this year, it involves me traveling from here on this damn island to KL so many times. which in turn, costs more money.

im sitting in my dark room with one light wondering when will i be able to move on to a new place and really pack my things properly so i can store them again properly in a nice permanent place.

my friends are slowly resigning from the company, and some are transferred, which eventually leaves me alone here uninspired. this cant be. i've always wondered as a kid, things only get better when you get older. less depressing and shit. but no, actually it can in turn be worse if you dont play your cards right. so right now, im holding to my cards, waiting for the right time to fold and leave the table to a new one. however, right now, im still stuck.

sometimes its so hard to believe that my room is now stuffed with 6 years worth of shit in here. i dont put my books and all other nice stuff i have out in the living room because its a room i rent with 3 other guys. if it was a house that i stay with my wife, sure, why not.

basically, right now, im always wondering, when will my cards turn up, or at least when will it be the right time for me to fold and leave and sit on a new table.

Drugged....
i've been literally sick for the past 2 weeks that its ridiculous. my throat hurts and ive been stuffing myself with random meds i dont even know what the effect will be. i got an antibiotic that smells so bad like rotten egg. why or pharmacist why must your create such capsule? cant you create a capsule that tastes like oreos? at least it'll make me wanna swallow more of the meds.

you know you got a good set of meds when you wake up from sleep, and you're walking to get a drink, and during all that, you're feeling like you're floating and at anytime you can fall, but you're not. great feeling, but shitty feeling because it makes me break with cold sweats.

worse thing is, im working tomorrow and my job consists of me running around at the field managing people and getting things in control. if i cant do that, then fuck me what the fuck am i doing at work?

Witty... or not so witty?

i'm not so sure if i have any witty thoughts for now. oh wait here goes.... wait... nope its gone. i had one but its unoriginal. well, talk about relationships. how bruno mars say, he'd catch a grenade for the girl?

first of all, why is the girl being thrown a grenade at in the first place? 

second, is it that easy to get a grenade for someone to throw at people just because they dont like them? where is this? Colombia? Afgan?

third, my close friend got punched unnecessarily by a group of idiots because they werent satisfied the girl one of them likes preferred my friend. people kept asking "so was she worth it?". well, i guess she must be. because if she isnt, then dude, you've just set the bar for the next girl so high. professing your love will be difficult. now you might really have to jump in front of the bus or really catch that grenade so they wont go saying

"you got punched for her! what would you do for me? hah? hah?"

and come back to Bruno, yes, if you're already catching that damn grenade, it doesnt work out, what is it gonna be like for the next girl? hug a nuclear bomb? my friends, the lesson here is, start small. catch a tossed crumpled paper for a start. at least it's subtle.....

These are not the droids you're looking for....

Well i had this thought in my head about 2 weeks so here goes. Last two weeks during my monthly conjugal visit to my wife, on a fine Saturday morning we had breakfast together at this place called "Village Park" in Uptown at Damansara. For those who dont know, great place for nasi lemak.

So my wife and i had some kuih along with our meal and one of them consists my favorite kuih kacang. So as i've already munched and finished with mine due to being famished (another professional word for glutton), my wife was still savoring hers and somehow, mysteriously left a tiny crumb of the kuih kacang, of which I thought she didnt want. So being the oh so loving husband i am, i savored (another polite word for gobble) the crumb.

Coincidentally she was not looking when i did that, of course which was not my intention at all, and next thing you know, she was asking,

"Sayang, where's my kuih?"

Immediately, after having disposed the evidence, i didnt know what to do but somehow a defense mechanism occurred. and the conversation went somewhat like this:-

Wife: Where's my piece of kuih?


Me: huh? What kuih?


Wife: Did you eat it?


Me: huh? eat what kuih?


Wife: the small piece of kuih on this plate...


Me: huh? What kuih?


Wife: takde kuih ke tadi? (there was no kuih earlier on the plate?)


Me: huh?

and then she was quite and changed the topic and stared far in the distance. At that moment... i thought i might have been a Jedi. I wanted to tell the world,

"Men, we have found women's weakness, like Obi Wan, we only need to answer a question, with a question!"

yes... i may have found the solution....

However... less than 5 minutes after, i found out women has another set of Jedi powers when she looked at me all weird. not weird weird. but laughing borderlining with pissed off, if you didnt tell her what actually happened to the kuih. and of course, i said i ate it. my wife might be a Jedi.

Sorry men, apparently we have yet truly interpreted Obi-Wan's method. Maybe next time ok? next time... "What droids? These are not the droids you're looking for"