Pain....

i dont know.... right now i'm swimming in 70's rock songs, and broken lullabies. at times i feel happy, at times i feel blue. usually... i feel blue. and i think a lot. too much in fact. the only thing that keeps me concentrated is capoeira. last week i just went to one "batizado" (pronouned bachizado), and got baptized into the capoeira world. its not a baptize macam christian dgn air2 ke aper. like in silat, nak masuk silat, kene ada mandi adat. this one, doesnt involve water at all. all i had to do is play capoeira with the masters, and well known teachers around. in the world of abada capoeira today, there's almost 45,000-50,000 members. there are only to masters, mestre Camisa (means shirt), and mestre Naga (i dont know what it means, but pronouned Nago). and i felt so honored to capoeira with mestre Naga, and got baptize by him. it was such a nice game. plus there were soooo many pretty girls down there. i think that is what happens when you get out of rpi. anyway, at the same time everyone get chords as penerimaan murid. which is one level of starting. amazingly, within rpi students, me ang my friend galo (means chicken, pronounced garu), was pushed up two levels higher instead. so, so, awesome. alhamdulillah. i must say it was one of the highlights of my life. one of. i love capoeira. like silat, it has history, culture, and art in it. i took tae kwon do, but somehow, i dont feel it has so much art and history, and culture to offer. plus, some part of me think, a lot of tae kwon do individuals are sombong. not all.:).

sitting down last nite... listening to music with the guys, lowrider, led zeppelin, make jokes, play poker, was fun. hahah. but it wasnt great enough. i wish i was happier. jazz and blues is my new found favorite songs now. if you guys have any recommendations, please do tell me okay? :). thankss....

people say its easy, but its different for each person... so you dont know, that its not easy for some.....