Chillin with your buds, on the green, at 420, on 420.....

It has been a while since ive updated. hahaha. last one and a half week has been fuckingly hectic, and i must say, it has been the most fucked up period ive ever been in RPI. swimming in my environmental engineering assignments, work loads, im only taking 10 credits, but seriously, i feel like im taking 16 or 20 credits. we just knew the prof hates us, which completely brings the students down more. honestly, ive asked myself, do i really want to be an environmental engineer? am i really into this? i feltlike i was apart of corporate malaysia bullshit. since high school we've been injected with taking big exams, like UPSR, PMR, SPM, which most people say, kalau tak pass, you'd probably might as well quit trying to be successful, and start being a fisherman, a cop, or hell, even a janitor. i personally think it was the way how we were raised. even the education system says it. tak ramai kalau kita tengok, student asrama, nak jadik cikgu in the future. seriously, tak ramai. in my school was one, and i have so much respect for him. and i believe other students from other school see the same situation. sumer nak jadik someone big. someone successful. and by means of successful, people have the view of engineers, doctors, lawyers, architecture instead of people in entertainment, catering business, gerai business, (senang cakap self owned business), interior designer, anything, almost anything outside of that 4 first list. i know my friend ada restoran nasi briyani kat bangi, making money man!! seriously. i know some people who owns a gerai, yet has an evo 7, evo 8, modified rx7, mercedez, something not even most young engineer in his 30s could actually earn. another thing i hate, if one is going to a skolah harian, and another skolah asrama, some people will automatically say, eleh, skolah harian, tabley laa dier nak pi oversea, or aiks skolah harian? camner dier bleh dapat 4 flat. seriously, i think that's just so cocky. come on people, open your eyes, and know that He created everyone equal. i study here in the US, but if you compare dgn org yang dpt 4 flat kat mesia kat mmu, or uniten, they are technically way better than i am! so people, throw away those stereotype looks you have, stereotype thinking, and start make judgements based on your own analysis, your own understanding, without the influence of others, ESPECIALLY the media, or what corporate malaysia wants you to go for. join me and put up your two hands and lift ur middle finger to the bullshit that's been instilled in the minds of everyone. we are different each of us, so know that everyone has their own capability, own understanding, of something.

enough with the spirit talk, hahah. i just knew, last wednesday, that every year, at 4.20 pm, on 4/20, crazy americans smoke ganja in public!!! i went there (i promise you i didnt smoke!!) and was so amazed with the smell, and the haze that's just coming up in the middle of our campus!! you could see all the different ways they smoke with. blunts, sacred pipes, bongs, everything. i was just so astounded. and strangely enough, this happens every year, and the public safety, cops, just automatically dont go out of their office. just like that. its like, we know about it, but just not talk about it. so they smoke there for about 45 mins, and go to class, or go home. i felt like i was stepping into the 70s. hahaha. funny shit. if you ever come here in the US, you guys should drop by with a camera. i wish i knew earlier, so i could bring down my camera to campus at that time.

the distressing week ended with a nice early sleep... sorry buddy. as shitty as everything may seems, i know i'll definitely be done in less than two weeks. on thursday then, me and the guys were watching a stupid malaysian movie, and i told myself, that i can actually come up with a really good malaysian movie myself! started writing down my own script, very rough, and still in progress. insya Allah, kalau bagus, and very good, id probably try my hand and sending it to someone. hopefully. :).

Also, last week i had a photo session, and i got one personaly favorite of mine from sha's website. but i have some of my personal favorites as well. dont think couchy can come up with hot pics only. i AM hot. muahahaha. sorry, that's just a lie. heh.

lastly, i never knew that i could actually learn life lessons from naruto. and also, team building as well!! that's what people should actually show in professional development classes!! kick ass!! by the way, i just started watching since last nite, and currently watching episode 14. kick ASS!!

i came up with another sajak due to my released stress one wednesday. just felt so relaxed, and felt like writing.... hopefully its good for u guys...

Dewasa

Sedih....

Kelmarin, ku duduk dalam sunyi kegelapan hampa,
Terdiam, terpaku, menjerit, mengadu domba,
Terhadap nasib yang dikongkong oleh semua,
Tetapi di dalam hanya sunyi, terdiam, terpinga

Berfikir.....
Memandang jauh sebelum matahari terbenam,
Terdetik bunga yang layu berkembang semula,
Kian tersenyum melawan api sebelum terpadam,
Biarku guna mencari jalan yang hilang lama

Yakin....
Menghidu udara kebebasan sambil membuka tangan,
Tersenyum gembira mengenal dikau ketawa,
Menatap bayang meninggalkan kenangan,
Selamat tinggal dikau, Apa kabar Dunia,

Inilah detik semusim,
Berhenti Berkata, mula menulis....

hehe. really felt like writing. there's an RIAA issue that came up last week. honestly, it freaked me out. seriously. if there's one thing i hate most, its corporate USA. hahah. (im being soo michael moore right now). but im not kidding. its bullshit. going for orang yg tak banyak duit for illegal downloading, just trying to make off money out of something that's called ART, gunning down for college students who already have to pay for their student's loan after they graduate. its just really fucked up. im really againts this. fine sket2 cukup laa.. tak perlu nak sampai 750 bucks per song. i just dont know what else to say. but my friends, be careful, i heard they're aiming for people who are sharing first, then download.

well till then... take care... gambar will be posted soon. probably tonight. :).

ngorat fera....


guess models.....


the gang....


bad to the bone.... (courtesy of www.rpi.edu/~kadirs.)


my fave... the cowboy....


the poppins....


spider....



back profile....


chillin....

The Untitled....

Firstly... pasal earlier post... the room full of tkcians and a monkey in there... has no explanation. the monkey could be me... or could just be a monkey. its not even saying tkcians are monkey. notice the whole previous post is about a ~DREAM~. one of the strangest dream though. hahahah.

I was suddenly triggered by a buddy of mine telling me i should write an emo song of explaining how fucked up my week is right now. hahaha. really... it is fucked up. but as i was driving during delivery, i suddenly had the urge to write that song, but something else came up. so this is what i came up with in one night.

untitled....

Now words are just merely words,
No longer serenades nor poetry,
Like looking through glass,
without a hint of reflection,
or staring up into the sky from the dark depths beneath the ocean.....

Now touch are merely handshakes, taps, or bumps,
Nothing sensual, not even a hint of light,
Caressing the hollow empty space,
Lost in darkness waiting to be found,
Doesnt even spark a dying amber,
Lying helplessly on the ground....

Now love is no more a feeling,
warm, fuzzy, cuddly, not even tingling,
Just distant views, clear memories, hoping and wishing,
Holding to that one promise, which is way better nothing,
Pondering, wondering and waiting.....

Buzzing thoughts... Irfan 11.55 pm @ pizza bella, 4/11/05


One thing i know... this feeling i have intrigues me to write, which i know i like. hahah. kalau sucks sket poetry nih... sorry. kata tulis sesaja.....

Weird....

I just have to say this before i forget... i got one of the weirdest dream EVER. I was taken by bears when i was small... and the other animals were my friends, in a forest that looks like something from Salem Cool Planet. then i went away, became an assasin for the government, stole a big ass truck, probably containing stuff the goverment doesnt want me to know, put it on a moving train, and went to the city. somewhere where there is a metro, but not the crappy metro we know. metro that is ten times cooler than midvalley. went for groceries shopping, i was looking for comics (a book sumthing like that)? and when i came out, i was walking by the ocean with the breeze driftin on by, and in the public, with some theme park behind as a background, was one of the alim malaysian guys in rpi (i wont say who then it'll be so so weird), wearing white shorts, smoking a cigarette, green shirt, and a black crown. then as i was walking to the theme park, i met some capoeira guys there, huge people, and some of my friends that i dont remember. but then, i met a whole room of tkc girls, and monyet there. i dont know why. ah yess... i remember then.... i went back to the forest to meet my bear family, only to realize that i was chased by a big ass wolf. jump on me, wanted to eat me, then he realized i was his childhood friend. and said "he's become a human standard!!" then i woke up. shook my head. went back to sleep, only to realize i was hugging my bear family saying goodbyes. then went to a free mic club, where people were doing weird things, oh yes, then there is abe, as the host. i dont know why. AND i dont know why, but i signed up to be in the open mic thingy. ija was there, elle was there, and a lot others, but i cant remember. i wanted to do the hollow men skit of natalie imbruglia, torn. at first i was the last 5 something like that. only to realize i ran into the restroom because i've NEVER practiceed it before! only to come out with a guy saying to me, "you missed your turn, so you're going last". and as right before i went to the mic, i choked, because i have no song, and ended up calling out to myself.... IRFAN BANGUN!!!!! and i did. and didn't go back to sleep again. shit.... bak kata mak... cuci kaki befor tido. that or probably from the two cigars i smoked in the evening. hahaha

Pain....

i dont know.... right now i'm swimming in 70's rock songs, and broken lullabies. at times i feel happy, at times i feel blue. usually... i feel blue. and i think a lot. too much in fact. the only thing that keeps me concentrated is capoeira. last week i just went to one "batizado" (pronouned bachizado), and got baptized into the capoeira world. its not a baptize macam christian dgn air2 ke aper. like in silat, nak masuk silat, kene ada mandi adat. this one, doesnt involve water at all. all i had to do is play capoeira with the masters, and well known teachers around. in the world of abada capoeira today, there's almost 45,000-50,000 members. there are only to masters, mestre Camisa (means shirt), and mestre Naga (i dont know what it means, but pronouned Nago). and i felt so honored to capoeira with mestre Naga, and got baptize by him. it was such a nice game. plus there were soooo many pretty girls down there. i think that is what happens when you get out of rpi. anyway, at the same time everyone get chords as penerimaan murid. which is one level of starting. amazingly, within rpi students, me ang my friend galo (means chicken, pronounced garu), was pushed up two levels higher instead. so, so, awesome. alhamdulillah. i must say it was one of the highlights of my life. one of. i love capoeira. like silat, it has history, culture, and art in it. i took tae kwon do, but somehow, i dont feel it has so much art and history, and culture to offer. plus, some part of me think, a lot of tae kwon do individuals are sombong. not all.:).

sitting down last nite... listening to music with the guys, lowrider, led zeppelin, make jokes, play poker, was fun. hahah. but it wasnt great enough. i wish i was happier. jazz and blues is my new found favorite songs now. if you guys have any recommendations, please do tell me okay? :). thankss....

people say its easy, but its different for each person... so you dont know, that its not easy for some.....

Sepet....

I must say... i watched Sepet, and i believe everyone has almost the right thought, aside from old black and white Malay movies, Sepet has to be the best movie ever made. period. i am a movie geek, and watching it could not make me stop to gaze in awe, how witty, sharp, and amazing the script writing is. its like the concept of my AAW performace, Johan and his love (i'm sorry i dont remember what's her name). the casualness of the language in the movie itself was already sooo original and hopefully a stepping stone to other malaysian directors. i was amazed when Ah Loong told he friend Keong "haiyaa just go buy that fucking ubat nyamuk." I was already thrown off the chair, crying out this movie was awesome. not because i'm a fan of swearing and cursing. but the potrayal how real life really is. teenagers using swear words all the time. it doenst hurt to show the reality of how Malaysia really is. its not all perfect and harmony and what not.

the camera shot of the movie was just so unique, and amazing although... i still think some shots could be improved, like when Orked was going out for the first time with Ah Loong. i dont think real dates usually sit side by side. ida nerina also had such a gripping act, and just makes you sebak going through the end.

another thing less appealing to me, is how fast they get to the cair part in the first scene vcd stall of the movie. just hoping they could build on that. but all in all... the movie was kick ass awesome. like i said, the script itself was witty, brazen, and entertaining. a lot of my friends told me to start writing a script... i think i should.... and give it to Yazmin Ahmad. heh. tatau ler will she even touch it.

Pastu, to think that Aziz M Osman, and Yusof Haslam would think positive of the comments made regarding most citer melayu skarang... SAMPAH. i agree with every concept... citer melayu zaman sekarang SAMPAH. saper tengok pun? aziz m osman, if you're reading this, i've always thought you were a good director, but these past few years, all the movies that you produce or direct are stereotypical and just plain unreal. your defense on Ku Seman's article was what i call pangkah diri sendiri. you're an adult, trying to defend your movies, trying to show that you have a better ability than Yazmin and try to make Ku Seman eat his own words... but you have to defend it with a "Pocahontas" song? GROW UP. it'll be like me, using limp bizkit song quotes in my essay of "Politically incorrect." you also try mention how chris rock interview individuals on what movie they watch, and they say white chicks, and other low life movies like that. What are you trying to compare? normal people watch those kinds of movies? saying that normal org melayu watch those movies pf typical melayu haslam? most only watch during Raya, ramai2, and that was only because there are no other good malaysian movies to watch. itu pun, usually people start off with a good p ramlee movie. period. and still the the comparing aspect, those movies are crapt, its not in the ACTUAL box office, and does not win any recognition, locally, or internationally. Sepet has just started couple of months ago, and god knows so many awards are they going to win.

You could make a great movie, a lot of malaysians know you can, and DID. when i say great, not that senario, or aper ntah movie baru tuh. dah ler dubbing was really not professional. sigh... (macam laaa aziz m osman baca).

I know i could definitely write a better script, a better movie than Yusof Haslam. seriously... Yazmin Ahmad has made a huge standard in Malaysian directors or directors wannabe. i pray that malaysian movies only get better after this, and show that not only indonesians, or thais can make cool breath taking movies. prove them that malaysia truly is... ASIA. real ASIA.

Nusantara pics....

I didnt have to chance to take so many pics during the performance. if you would like to see, go to http://www.rpi.edu/%7Ekadirs/index2.html. for those who dont know, of my sis, nadia, she is a very good photographer, you could probably go there and analyze her pics. you could ask her questions too if you want.

this pic is a courtesy of Sha@rpi (the website above)....



me and abe....


asian friends....


linda comel and me


me and andy warhol....


badik and zaki....


the gang :)....


me and tod....


the gang again...


asmaradana (one of the BEST dancers)....


uniten....


abstract....


sepet II (style citer melayu. i heard there is going to be sembilu V, buduh tak?)....