My Hi-fi's waiting... for a new tune....

It's now the 22nd day of ramadhan. How is it so far... god knows. all in my head is im looking forward to go back to KK and chill there with my family and especially my nephews and drive late nite by the beach alone with the windows down....

The past whole month was a soul searching event for me. Honestly, besides being rigorous, pushing my dear life to the limits with extreme sports (but still in a very safe way), straining my body as much as i can, i still find that there's still so much that i need to accomplish in this world. what will be my catalyst in this world to push me to the actual limits, not only in energetically and mentally, but most of all... spritituality as well.

Last weekend... i volunteered to help setup this event for Buka Puasa with orphans, most of them are not actualy piatu, but just yatim. but still... i made a point to help out nevertheless. took their pics and show it to them on my rundown digital camera to see the smile on their faces, and then i sat down with them for dinner as i mingled with them. their innocent laughters and all i hope is that they will know someone will always be there for them regardless what their situation is.

then yesterday, during the day time, i volunteered myself again to give a motivational talk on unwind on stress for SPM students. I dont know if i did good, but all i know is, there were so much laughter, and eyes that are wide awake. I just hope, there are some words in there, that will stick in their hearts, which they will be able to send it down to others. and benefit others as well. i just dont know if it was good enough, if it was sufficient enough for them. that was my only worry.

right after that, i also joined the adopt a child for a day program during this month of ramadhan. i dont know if im great with kids, if i could grab their attention, if i could create a certain impact for them. god knows. I got a 12 yr old boy, Ahmad Tarmimi Masuud, and i just took him shopping the whole day. he was very hesitant with all the stuff that i wanted to buy and give him, baju melayu for hari raya, yaasin, a pair of futsal shoes, a tshirt, a sweater, some food, and some Raya allowance as well. the problem is, the child was so quiet, and i asked if everything is okay and all, and he only nodded yes. he only kept quiet most of the time, and when i asked him, he'll say only very little words.

Albeit, after all this... I worry if what i did for him... was NOT sufficient enough. was it enough to show this one child, that there will always be someone in this world irregardless of his situation? he's the only child and he's dad passed away due to cardiac attack at the age of 39. the mom doesnt work apparently, and only bakes kuih and gets income from there. the aunt helps him out with school. he'll be going to kuching for his highschool he's going there alone to stay with his cousins, while his mother stays alone here in bintulu. I was restless till i got home and fell asleep. I was worried if he was actually happy with all the stuff that i bought him for his raya, which are the stuff that he rarely gets. towards the end of the session, i only managed to tell him somewhat this... 'I'm doing this ikhlas, and my only hope is, that he grows up to be good man, and hopefully, he could be able to help others in his situation later on... and so on and so on....'

that was my time... spending time with the innocent young kids, the bright minds of tomorrow, who... i know, with proper guidance and nurture, could probably lead a major company, an army, or even a country. I dont think i did enough, and will not stop here. Dear god, i pray that you help these kids, to grow up nicely, and will always do the same as i have done for them to others... maybe even better. Was he happy? Were the SPM kids laughing only and didnt benefit anything? Were sitting with the kids during break fast make them feel excited and secured knowing that everyone will always except them regardless of what? is this enough? is it?? what else can i do? how can i help them more?

am i worrying too much? im not happy yet. there's so much to do... and i dont know if i'll ever get to do it... i just... dont... know.....

one of my cool wall climbing sessions last month....


with Sza-Sza before actorlympics last month....


break fast and donations for some orphans at the Masjid Asyakirin last week....






My adopted son... well brother laa... son just makes me sound freakin old...



twins... mighty energetic. if i was taking care of them yesterday, id probably completely pass out by the time i get home....


waheeda's sweet adopted 5 yr old sister on Sandy's lap... doesnt like me though. i wonder why...


Me, my adopted brother, hairun and his adopted brother... hairun's the shorter one. yeap... he got a tall lank form 1 kid....