It's just another... lonely day

So around 8pm today... it is official. Hari Raya in Malaysia falls on a Tuesday. As for me here in KK... the minute i stepped on the grounds of KK... I was already so happy. I do not have to listen to the pestering sounds of my boss who's jumpy and very domineering as well. Weird how much effect he has on me. When i see him... i immediately feel so depressed and down, and even if i dont see him, listening to his voice... or a similar accent to his, would just totally wilt me down, making me drown in darkness and sadness... only hoping no one would save me so i'll just be lost in the depression for a certain time period.

Honestly... I need this break. I so need this break as i really love spending time in this City. although strangely enough, some of KK's best hang out places... i heard is actually run by chinese sarawakians. that's sad honestly... no sabahan locals irregardless of what race, is ready enough to step up to these domestic invaders who slowly creeps into the lives of the locals... and make money out of it to live somewhere far and convenient in sarawak. i honestly think its utter BS.

but either way... how i miss sabah so much. okay, i know i sound too over excited, but Borneo has finally opened their very own starbucks... and i'm proud to say... its in KK and not in miri or especially not in bintulu.

Oh well... I have roughly 9 days not to think about the job i hate so much... and I'll spend my best times not thinking about it and just chill and relax most of the time. here in KK... i'll never be bored... but i'll always be relaxed. heehhe.

on to a lighter note....

so... yesterday... I was doing some errands with my mom and my sisters, just picking up contact lenses and what not. It just surprises me how so many people are still doing last minute shoppings and the place just gets sooooo filled up with so many ppl trying to get their hands on as much new stuff as possible. initially, I wanted to do the same. but somehow i managed to refrain myself. i thank god i did... because, what I was about to observe, feel, and share with you what happened later that day... was a moment in my life, in which... i will NEVER trade for anything in the world. BUT, i will share... as my hope with sharing this... i hope to inspire others, and to be less selfish, succumb to the giant capitalists BS by buying branded goods (excessively that is), and never... NEVER thankful... of what they currently have.

Since before Ramadhan... i had this new feeling, to contribute to the world, make a change at least. I did some community services, talks... but i dont know if i made a difference. i dont really feel it... until yesterday.

Yesterday evening, I bought 4 barrels of KFC, and I bought 2 cartons of canned sodas. I was actually nervous when i bought it... as i dont know if the thing that i wanted to do, would ever fulfill my hopes... or better yet... the orphans that i bought the food for. I was driving alone, trying my best in racing againts time for buka puasa, and when im done with buying the necessaries, i was driving my dad's hilux to 120-130 km/hr on curvy roads. all in my head was... oh dear god... please let the food reach them on time.

as soon as i reached there, i saw kids running around, some teenagers helping out a guy probably in his mid-30s setting up a tent. I was greeted by a guy in a kopiah, smiled at me... and i immediately knew he was Ustaz Khairi, the caretaker of the orphanage. i looked at my watch... thank god... i still have about 15 minutes to spare. i was about to carry in the food, but i was helped by some kids in their teens with the food and brought it to the kitchen.

The ustaz then brought me to a hallway and we stood outside a medium hall with a TV hung on the corner of the hall. i was greeted by small kids, and they shook and kissed my hand. and i honestly was touched. the ustaz told me how this puasa, usually the kids are invited to buka puasa for various events, and that day was the first time that they were just going to buka without a presence of a guest at the place they call home. they didnt expect that a dude calling them up to bring some food that day... and they didnt actually expect the person wanted to sit down and spend time with the kids for buka and talk to them asking them how they were doing. most of the time, the donors would just pass food to them, and leave.

i thank god for giving me that opportunity honestly, to spend time with those kids. i felt sad initially because of their status, but then amazed because of their independence, their strength at such a young age, and then i was sad again i had to say goodbye to these great kids... much better than any kids i have ever seen... even in myself back then when i was a teenager.

the place caters for kids starting around the age of 7, and the eldest kids they have are two kids one 17, and the otherr 18. these teens however, look after the younger ones the best they can, and contribute and help the younger ones in facing this world and letting them know, that they will always have support. I was so touched on how these kids were so obedient, and they were so thankful of what they already have, and they didnt ask for anything more.

i sat down in a table with a group of boys, drinking the sodas that i brought, and they were chewing on that kurma that they probably gotten for a derma. then i spent time with them in the surau praying for maghrib. i honestly was amazed with what i saw. the kids actually pray with me, with the imam, unlike the kids you usually see running around during prayers in the masjid, not giving a care of the world. and they are around the same age. it just completely blows me off.

i was chatting with the 17 yr old, asked about his SPM paper and what is his plans after SPM. 'tunggu result, lepas tuh tunggu offer kalau result bagus insyaAllah... dan sementara tunggu keputusan, kerja part-time di sini lah tolong adik2'. yes... that's what he said. after my SPM, i was a spoilt brat spending the money my mom gave buying CDs, clothes, an hung out in KLCC doing nothing not being thankful of the wonderful things around me that ACTUALLY matters.

I then snapped some pics of them lining up for the KFC i bought, and i was kinda sad, knowing that... if i didnt bring the food, they probably would only eat sayur masak lemak and rice and... that's it. that's it. i cudnt fathom the fact. and the fact that some people dont even finish their food, and just throw it away without a care in the world... is just sad. they might as well didnt spend that money on the food, and buy clothes for people who REALLY REALLY need it.

thank god i broke up. i could now have a much better purpose of where to spend the money. rather than waste money to someone who was so shallow and blind on materials around her... might as well i spend it here. as i sat down and mingled with them, the latest addition in their family, couldnt really finish the food given, and his 'brothers' came beside him, told him not to push himself... and the 'brothers' helped him finish his food. they really made a point NOT to membazir. Please people... be more thankful. when u eat, and u think u cant finish, u could either get it for to-go/take away/tapau/bungkuih noo ... or better yet, estimateh how much u can eat, and eat proportionately. please people...dont waste, and be thankful... of what you have. those extra food that you didnt spend on could probably be donated for a much better cause.

I cant describe the feeling... as i was about to leave, i took pics with them and they were so excited, and some gave me a hug, and all of them begged me to drop by on the 2nd day of raya for their open house in which i am usually not free as i'll be in kampung at that time. so i was really sad since i couldnt fulfill their wishes that day. but... honestly... seeing their faces light up with just the KFC on their plate, their laughters with the simple jokes from their caretaker... seeing that... just really gave me a more cause to give... and give... and not stop.

i cant really describe the great feeling i had. I'm amazed that these young kids are much stronger that anyone i know... and they're just so much SOOOO much younger than we are. I cant describe it. it was just so exhilirating, and all i can say, please do try it if u have the time and money. if you're in KK... and i'd be happy enough to take you there... to the minds and leaders of our tomorrow. that experience you get... i bet you... you would never want to trade away.

damn i miss them. just comes to show... all the adidas you have, the gucci u wear, the expensive skin care, the expensive cars for you to flash... is NOTHING. NOTHING to me...and especially to those who are already... very satisfied, with one ketul KFC per person, plus one lone guy, listening to the stories of their day, and how Coke actually 'has' ajinomoto in them. adorable, strong, beautiful kids they are. God i pray that you help these kids to be a great person in Malaysia someday. Amin..... this is for the kids.....

i'm tellin this because i pray hopefully that i inspire some of my readers, to do the same. and i hope you guys could inspire others as well, so on and so forth. like my college always say... 'Why not change the world?' so this is what i'm doing... and hoping you will do the same.....

Pics describe a thousand words....Ustaz khairi, redzuan, saffiee, izzati, sazrina, tilka, subri, sabri, sabli, are some of the names that i remember from the short rewarding day.,...




waiting for buka.....


Lining up for Colonel Sanders... thank you colonel sanders....


sweet child not of mine....


the ustaz and i, and the eldest one on my left side... redzuan and another helping their brother to finish his food


i know the angle looks bad... but the ustaz DID try. kesian dier hahaaha. i went alone there... but i was accepted there... and i was happy... till today.