Happy Bday to Hafiz Hatim... aka Abe aka my brother.....

Happy Bday to the one guy who has been there for my four years in RPI. we chilled, we laughed, we fly, we rocked RPI. RPI would be less awesome if you werent there... in a totally straight way. thanks for being there for all the times in my four years... and especially during my most fucked up times... thanks for being there... in a totally straight way. thanks for being a brother, and complete with our manly bonding sessions that we should not stop even after we start working... make the terror trio complete. wish you were here this weekend... we couldve fly together all the terror trio and just rock KL with all the 'we're so EXTREME!!!' activities. happy bday man... you know i got love for you... in a totally straight way.





seriously bro... i dont know how many times have we played this stupid game... we never fucking win!! especially that house of the dead 3. burit tol. i think we spent like 300 bucks on this games man... seriously....


perasan hensem....


mari kita teka apsal mata abe sepeeeeeet!! pasaaaaal... abe baru bangun tidooooo hehehe.


nande datte ba youu....


brokeback mountain... in a totally straight way....


happy bday you biatch.... wish i was there.... (your bday pic exactly 2 years ago)

thinking.....

I just got back from my beloved town... kota kinabalu last nite. it was a 3 day stay with 2 nights in one of the coolest hotel ive ever been to. le meridien... plasma TV in each room WITH a dvd player. i had a course for this community service that i signed up for, which is going to chosen schools (mainly kampung schools), and try to help them, motivate them to be better individuals in the future. all in all... it was an AWESOME course. we laughed, we played games, we sang this rap song called 'i'm a beaver'. and the song just got stuck into my head for the rest of the stay, even rite now. yes it was fun.

another cool thing was that... i was able to bring my friends around kk. although time was precious, but i took them from one end to the other, went to shennanigans, and i really thought ive lost my legs in there. seriously, its the best band ive been to so far. second comes in the band that plays in hardrock. and this is the cool one... the band that's playing in shennanigans, Amplified Rescue Team (ART), will be playing in Hardrock KL this JUNE!! i recommend everyone to go see it! it was an awesome feeling to know that the band recognize me and lili, and just talked to them and all. hahaha. ive never felt cooler. im definitely going to see them in june. hopefully the plant's turnaround wont block me or anything.

but the biggest impact of me going to kk this time, was more emotional. for all my stay there, i went to see my beloved nenek. she's been on her bed for like 6-7 years now. couldn't stand up and completely lost her left side ability. slowly, within those 7 years... her memories of little things fade, leaving only the ones that she dears the most... and that's not even all the time. somehow, everytime i come back, she'd recognize me as ive always been visiting her when i was a kid. but then, when i came back this time, about 3-4 weeks ago, she's lost her ability to speak, and even now, i have to whisper into her ear. during my stay there, from the first day she didnt seem to say anything to me. things she says always has been a mumble, and it was very difficult for me to understand. she didnt seem to recognize me, and only gave me a nice pat on the shoulders... until my last day there.

i went to see her early in the morning around 730 pm after i paid my respects at my arwah uncles and datuk. my aunt was still asleep, and the my nenek's caretaker just finished giving my nenek a bath. then i went to my nenek, hugged her, and whisper assalammualaikum... she just gave me a pat... no answer. then, like always, i whispered into her ear again, and told her 'nek, irfan nih, anak si ratna...' she patted again.... then suddenly she was mumbling, then she took a deep breath... and let out the first 2 very clear words that ive heard since i was there... 'Cucu ku... Cucu ku...' and tearing up at the same time... and guess what... i dont even care what ppl think... i cried. yes... a grown man. everytime i see her after not seeing her a while, she'd almost always touches my heart just knowng the fact that she'd remember me. then it was a short 4 - 5 mins conversation. i told her i just got back from kubur, and she said 'syukur la alhamdulillah'. then i apologized to her for not being there all the time as i was studying in KL, US, and now working in bintulu. then she said 'ndak apalah irfan... carik makan'. she smiled. i broke down. then i told her im now working in sarawak, then she said 'kawin sama orang sarawak la kau nih...' she smiled. i only laughed, 'and said i 'lambat2 lagi nek, kumpul duit dulu'.... then she smiled, 'bila mau kawin? tambah laa cicit nenek nnt'... and she laughed, with me sobbing, she still managed to crack a smile on my face... and i love her for that. there were some more, and then i whispered to her... 'nenek, mau dengar Al-fatihah?' and she nodded slightly... then i whispered her the Al-fatihah... tearing up... but held it in my best as i wanted to have a clear tajwid. then i kissed her forehead. and my last whisper to her was... 'nek... kalau ndak sempat nek... irfan mau minta maaf dulu nek. minta maaf untuk semua kesalahan jika ada. terima kasih byk2 la untuk semua nek. irfan sayang nenek.' at that time... she was just quiet, and patting me on the shoulders. i kissed her hands so many times, then kissed her once on the forehead, and on the cheek. even though she's 96 this year, she still has a nice soft skin. but... when its time... its time. then i stood up... looked behind, and saw her abled hand, rise up from the bad, and waved a goodbye... i dont even know if its going to be the last. and i left....

i remember, before i went to the states, i prayed to Allah, that He wont take away my nenek before i come back from the states... and now, im thinkin of praying to Him not to take her away while im working... and take her away while im by her side, holding her hand. but am i being selfish? i dont know... sometimes, i heard from my aunt, my nenek has already been talking to herself, saying 'tunggu mawar, ndak lama lagi, datang la aku.' and mawar is her little sister who passed away last year. and her smiling, while looking up, and when asked she'd say its my arwah grandfather, waiting for her to join him soon. i dont know anymore. all i know, i pray the best for her, i pray that Allah takes her peacefully, and let her be around those who are in iman. i wish i'd be there do when its time. but then... when its time... its time.

id always remember when she taught me to read the quran on sundays, and make me pisang goreng and her hot milked milo for me. even though i dont drink milked milo, for her, as long as she's happy to know im here for her... i dont mind. the times ive always smiled when i kiss her hand when she was still walking, and seemed smaller everytime i come and see her after a while. the time she had that argument with my mom for making me study in Alam Shah, or last hari raya when i told her, she's still the most beautiful woman in the family... she'd laugh. id remember the best i can about my dearest nenek... and thank her for all the good things she showed me, and be the most patient person no matter what happens. thank you... and i love you... my nenek.........

ngngngngngngngng.....

okay... i really need to keep my mind moving here. otherwise, i'll be pulled back into the 80's like most of the ppl around here.

so here you go... im posting up some random questions...

i remembered abe asked me this question once, and i started asking it to others....

1)if you had to pick, who would it be? hillary duff, or lindsay lohan? WHY?

2)which would be a better place to go, Santorini, or Paris? (shopping does NOT count)

3)if you had to survive, which would you eat? a boiled cow's penis, ulat mulong (the white worm grub fatty thingy), a goat's testicles.

4)somebody please tell me why is there no light in the freezer part of a refrigerator!??

okay.... im dont with the stupid questions...

i remember last time i asked this question to my baba housemate...

'wey, apsal chinese new year celebrate chinese new year with orange as the fruit?'

his answer was fairly simple and logical... and may even be cultural.....


pasal apple tak tumbuh kat china dulu.......


then earlier today, i made some list due to the utterboredom.....

stupig thing i did today
- ate a 20 ringgit worth of plain nasi goreng!!

thing that shocked me the most today

a kucing kurap on my fucking BED!!!

things i was looking forward to:-
talk to my dearest
work out
fly to kk tomorrow!!

things dat i dont look forward the most, strangely enough was nothing!!

damn am i missing K so much!!! cant wait to chck out the live band tmrw nite!! latersss...

Bones to the Bored....

sooooo.... its the best day of the week!! its a SATURDAY!! wanted to update last nite... but i got no internet access last nite. which was quite sucky. strangely enough, i got back from work, i didnt go to the gym, or any sort of workout... and went straight to sleep. which pretty much... really really sucks. i slept around 8pm guys. seriously. how twisted was that?

so the update of my life... nothing... nothing much interesting happened to me for the whole freakin week. with one exception, which, i have to credit my friend Sue, for trying to PUNK me. see the word i used there. TRIED!!! check out hitz.fm sometime next week. maybe monday, maybe tuesday. but i was far from almost gotcha'd by gotcha crew hitz.fm. hahahah. hopefully dapat laa download nnt kat website dier it was a good closing for a weekend. quite good.

basically the scene was this chemist who checked out my urine test... and it turned out positive for marijuana.

so i was sitting down, in my cramped cubicle, my cell rang, private number called up. i picked up, and this familiar voice came up. initially i thought... wow... mtv called me back? WOW!! but its just some guy sounding the same way using the same vocab and all. so it didnt exactly came out the way it should, but somewhat like this....

Chemist:'hi is this Mohd Irfan B Mahmud?'
Me: yes this is he
Chemist: oh hi buddy, anyway, you're employed by XXXXXX rite? so it seems that your urine test tested positive for THC.

and then the basic scene was me being tested positive for marijuana. then he started saying that, i will not be employed by XXXXXXXX if i tested positive for marijuana. then i thought to myself... hmmm that's strange, earlier he said im employed.. suddenly he said i will not be employed by XXXXXXX for a job or something like that. ive actually been working for almost three months now. hmmmm. another thing dawned me.... this does not sound like your usual everyday geeky chemist. example:-

'So buddy, your urine tested like positive, and dude, you have any idea how'd it get there man?'

no geeky chemist would give bad news to someone who's about to be employed by a major company uses sentences like dude, man, buddy, and even 'like' a lot!! another major mistake... my last urine test was like 5 months ago. i dont think people would like to keep my urine that long. lastly... before bintulu, i used to listen to the gotcha thingy almost everyday as i sent my mom to work. never knew they'd try to get me. hahaha. so i was quite familiar with their voice. VERY. hahahah. btw... faidz... i really thought it was you, and sooo wanted to rat you out. but i didnt. how a good brother am i??? instead i used some name... CARLOS. hahah... ingat nak bagi carlos santana, tapi didnt come out. heheh. but then no matter how bad they were at lying... i was happy they tried... coz i really made my day.

hopefully i could download it from the net. take care guys..... and have a great weekend... as mine is about to end and mondays start again....

time stands still....

wow... honestly, right now... i totally feel like im on a deserted island. a deserted island complete with a big house, somewhat high-speed internet connection, cell phone, TV and dvd player with a lot of dvds. i am DEAD bored. a new friend of mine told me she's going rock climbing in the summit today, and im like... WTF?? i wish i could've gone rock climbing in OU. maybe during my next visit. hopefully i get to see my dearest girl Ferr. when are you coming back btw? i feel like im rotting here with food provided. let me define to you my schedule most of the times on weekdays....

5.45am - wake up
6 am - finally get out of bed take a shower.
6.30 am - do my breakfast while i surf the bbc news and waiting my oats/eggs to cook
7.10 am - go to work
7.30 am - reach work, if i feel like it, id have breakfast, otherwise, id just sit down and start my day.
12 pm - lunch, on lucky days, i get to go lunch outside if its end of the month, id be going to the bank to do some transactions for savings and bla
1 pm - start work (with the excluding of fridays where i start my second half of the day at 2 for friday prayers)
4.30 pm - left the office and sit at the japanese garden and reading a book while waiting for my housemate to arrive
5 pm - leave work
5.15 pm - arrive and getting ready for workout
5.30 pm - i either jog/basketball/futsal/tennis/squash
715 pm - would reach home and shower
8 pm - start thinking whether to eat or not. and would start wondering if i would want to eat out or in. if id eat out... there's only... ONLY 3 choices most of the time. Kubur Ria, Selera Kampung, Green Valley
9.30 pm - reach home, go to my room, surf the net, read a book, watch DVDs
10.30 pm - starting to feel very sleepy
11 pm - talk on the phone
12 pm - make a point to sleep
12.01 pm - i finally go to sleep

THAT IS MY USUAL WEEKDAY. i dont watch movies here coz i think the cineplex pretty much depresses me.

due to utter boredom as usual... my thoughts starts popping out...

okay, as i was playing futsal the other day, there were women probably wives or gfs of the guys who were playing the game... and it just dawned me, because i see the same thing everytime i go to KL. why does it HAVE to be only futsal? why cant it be like basketball, jogging, squash or even tennis? why dont the men bring them there? WHY? is it like a taboo that we cant bring our loved ones or crushes, or just flings to the other games? its the same basic thing, exercise! another thing is, sometimes, the ladies arent even watching. they'd just stand there, read a book, or show the most boring face they could show while 1 - 2 hours pass by. then why follow if the guys ask to? unless you were told to that's different laa kot. hmmm... weird shit is happening in this world and im going to get to the bottom of it!! hee hee.


TV and its influence....

dont you stop and ponder at times, and question yourself... whether evolution has gone wrong somewhere? we start with ugly men with sticks who were supposedly a lil bit hunched backed, then as things started to evolve, humans stood straighter and straighter til we actually stood well... until around the 1920.... and somehow... with the invention called the television... men started to sit down on the couch, indulge themselves in chips, beers, drinks, junkfoods while watching this squarish box with moving pictures for the whole freaking day. strangely enough, to a certain number of humans, this box will count as a necessity and they'd go weak and tired without TV. if TV was suddenly taken away from them... they'd be like someone who just went through a REALLY bad break up of a cheating gf and they'd be dried out and weak till TV clicks back on. now the power of TV is increased a million fold with the addition of cable or satellite TV that would hook everyone up in front of the screen with their mouths open in awe. dont you think how one box could actually create such a strong impact towards human's emotions? people practically cry as they watch AF and the loser who got kicked out that week, scream when leatherface from texas chainsaw massacre suddenly pops out of a cupboard with a chainsaw and just decapitates the head of a hot chick no matter how predictable the story is, gets hyped up watching a football match on TV and just screams out of joy when their team won when the team doesnt even really care about you as long as they make millions and millions of money, or even create that sexual fantasy in all ages from watching your favorite star ie angelina jolie or brad pitt. yes... how weird is it that TV is now a big chunk of our lives. count in a day, how many hours do you actually spend watching TV, and ask yourself what could you have done with that time if TV was not there? of course i wont deny... at times... TV acts as a link towards family gatherings, to love doves watching their favorite meg ryan movie while the gf says aawww and the bf is trying his best to stay awake in the cuddle, or even a group of best friends, just chilling down with 10 cans of arizona green teas, watching some manly movie and make loud manly sounds with a gruff like how grover or cookie monster from sesame street speaks.

but my question is so simple... what would have we done with all that time if TV doesnt exist in our lives? heck, if TV was not in our lives for a whole week... what would we do with all that ample time? questions of a wanderer who wonders a lot....


merely minutes away from saying goodbye to trish and faidz. sweetest thing was, trish actually cried before i left... but not to worry i dont believe in goodbyes... i believe in see you agains....


one of the stupidest thing ive done n bintulu... caught an annoying cicak and took a picture of it... then set it free to the cats to eat. muahahahaha.... damn it... how depressing was i?