Love....

not trying to be sappy... but what is it? is it really a feeling? or is it just some bullshit theory people has to come up with just to make them feel good for themselves. is it just an under defined word, with the rest of it is up to you to explain? or is it an overrated word that people just expect waty to much from it? its great to be in love but at the same time it sucks to be in it. sometimes its like poison that creeps in up to you and just sucks the life out of you bit by bit. sometimes its like a mana potion that revives you each time that you're weakened by the everyday monster called homework, professor, bad mood friends of the day, exams and so forth.

some people look for it for the rest of their lives and can never find it. sometimes they think they did, but it was actually something they want so badly, that they deny that it is. sometimes people dont go look for it at all... and that thing just comes in stumbling down. i remember a prof of mine once told me... you dont go looking for someone you love... go to someone who loves you. i dont know how far the truth goes... but probably in that case, i'd be waiting and praying for such a while for that.

is love a sufficient thing to hurt yourself for? to do something so stupid just to get over it? should you do those things you've never imagined doing until you've got hurt? should you try to get over it by having a rebound for fun? should you cry over it over and over again until your tears turns to blood and blinds you forever? probably no. been there... and to my opinion myself... no. your life is way too precious. thought about it... done some... not worth it... but sometimes it does make you feel good. for a bit though that's it.

is it something worth waiting for no matter what happens? worth waiting for while looking at him or her go out with another and just wait and pray until He brings them to you. is it something worth fighting for? worth fighthing for like bridget jones' diary when mike darcy found out hugh grant was shacking his ex wife and bridget herself that he loves? is it something worth waiting for? if you want it so badly, so much, no matter how the pain it is, yes... you'd wait. and with such a long wait, much anticipation, and praying... yes... you'd get it, and you'll be like a giddy little kid opening their biggest bday present and slowly unwrapping the gift thanking Him for all the patience and pain you've endured.

i've known people who wait for such a long time, endured so much, and now lives happily with four kids nice house and a great job. i've known people who went through the pain and then in turn, got something else, another, and said... "back than i thought that was love... now its... whoa... more than i could imagine".

So what powers does this "L" thing has? so divine that it makes you alive? so divine that it is the only thing you have and keeps you going in certain wretched places? Or such powers to make you do things you'd never thought you'd do? some of it is so not worth it, that it only makes people aroud you worry about you. some of it is just slightly good enough to make you happy for a short period.

in other words... the "L" word is probably up to you to decide. and hopefully decide the best for you and dont waste it away. as painfully it is... my opinion... waiting and praying... is probably the best thing we could do.