the Preacher Man....

To those who really know me, they'd know that i'm definitely not the most religious person around. i've done things i'm not very proud, but to be honest, not a lot of those i truly regret. i remembered it being my choice and my choice only and also happy to know that unlike those who preach without knowing, at least i know what "bad" really is.

Well, i'm not about to preach about The Book, nor am i going to really preach, as who are we kidding, my writings could actually end up as a disaster or could actually end up as a masterpiece. either way, i know it's something that most of us Malaysians have been living with since, like, forever. and to be honest, it may have been slowly ticking like a bomb waiting for it to explode into pure angry writings and raising up my hand high up in the air and adding that one finger just to place the insult high up in the sky just to make my point.

what is it that ticks me off already? Us Muslims. what? offended? let me put this correctly... Us Malay Muslim. sorry... still offending. oh well. here's the thing, i'm definitely not referring to every single malay muslim out there. definitely not. i know some others who actually do share the same view as i do and please be reminded dear readers, this is my point of view. should you want to discuss, do it professionally and nicely.

so, here's the thing. i dont understand, why the Malay Muslims in this country are so isolated, are so silo within their own religion? they are just being stuck in a bubble without trying to make others understand what the essence of Islam or what the meaning of being Islam really is. I may not be the most religious guy, but I know I am proud of my religion. Must we be so insulting and so accosting towards others who dont share the same belief as us? Is that truly the way? You say "Dont do this, Dont do that, Never do this, Never do that" and the worst thing is, most of you just take those "Dos and Donts" from what you've heard but not researched. Isn't that already something wrong?

In surah Al Isra' 17:36, excerpt by Yusuf Ali,

And pursue not that of which thou hast no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of (feeling in) the heart will be enquired into (the Day of Reckoning)

Read and understand it. No, it doesnt mean that, if you dont know something, then dont do it. No, it means, if you dont know something, then, go find out more about it, understand it, research, absorb into it spiritually, all in all, to make you a better worshipper and most of all, for you to share the knowledge with everyone eventually. and if you dont make that effort, all that ignorance, not using what God has given to you, your eyes, your ears, your brain, YOU will be questioned.

Now why must I mention something like that? Readers, i think we are repelling non-muslims who can be interested in our religion away. Must the preachers be too negative all the time? "Dont do this or you'll burn in hellfire" someone would say. Dont they realize that Islam is such a wonderful religion and the book is written so perfectly that the religion is about peace, hope, being devoted and loving your religion. Why must we talk about the "Donts" most of the time? why can't we talk about the "Dos" more? won't that give a more positive view of our religion?

I read this article once, and it was basically about how a very prominent western figure came into embracing Islam. What caught my attention the most was when she mentioned

"Each Individuals' journey to Islam is their own".

No one could've actually explained it better concisely. You make a point to explore, understand it from different aspects, some people delve into the books to understand more about religion, some people will travel the world, to whatever countries despite religion, and if they are there, and see the wonders that has been put on this earth, they will absorb and feel what has He provided to all of us.

Never find it just within our community of Islam, the Malay Islam. Come on my friends, Islam is all over the world. Never find Islam just within a general Islamic community as well, in fact, if you mingle around with other religions, with other cultures, you start understanding more about the Book and create a bigger appreciation of your own religion and feeling thankful with what you have been blessed with.

The article writer also mentioned this,

"Don't hurry, Lauren. Just take it easy. Allah is waiting for you. Ignore those who tell you: you must do this, wear that, have your hair like this. Follow your instincts, follow the Holy Qur'an- and let Allah guide you."

Everyone has their own journey. Some have gone through shit and been brought back to be a better person. I've definitely seen who's so pious back then and suddenly turned completely messed up and gone astray of the world handed over to him. Take that journey, but also be wise, learn, and be passionate about it. and always come back to what is true.

To one point, some people in this country, even start thinking Islam as part of the Malay race only. Going to the mosque, some people condemning other races, and you go "yes, let's hate that race!". Are we supposed to grow to be so hateful? Some don't even know there are actually Chinese and Indian muslims out there in this country. I've heard some people shun the Chinese muslim from coming into the mosque, because they're chinese. dude, seriously, did you realize that the Chinese people learned about Islam waaaaaay before we did?? back when we still thought paganism was super cool then?

I wonder,why must we repel others and say "let's burn churches down because they etc etc etc!". Is lynch mobbing really the answer? wont it even more strengthen the already negative vibe of unnecessary attention that we are getting from the rest of the world saying we are a religion of hatred?? NO! we are a peaceful religion. Prove it to the world, prove it to your family, prove it to your friends, most of all, prove it to yourself.

My main point here my dear readers, why must we be so negative in promoting our own religion? why? why can't it be something that's more hopeful, something that's more inspiring, and not repel those who really are interested in learning our religion. Isnt sharing and discussing about your religion with others, be it informal or formal is still a form of Dakwah? Isnt wishing someone well wishes during their holidays gives them a comfort which then eventually make them feel,

"hey, i wanna wish him too during this festive season"

isnt that already some part of dakwah despite how minuscule the effect may be?

Always remember, Al Kafirun Surah 109 at the last passage,

109:6 "To you be your way, and to me, mine".

We have our religion and we are should hold on to it, no matter what lifestyle we may be or have gone through. Religion is a choice. If you want to believe in the force and pull a Luke Skywalker on me, fine, as long as I did my part in making you understand what i believe in.

Yes my dear readers, Islam is peaceful religion. Do not get it mistaken by the media, nor other words of mouth. and please dont get mistaken by one act of a person and immediately judge the whole religion. In fact, don't even think a person's race defines his religion.

I may have been rambling because i'm super sleepy, either way, my point is simple, find out more about Islam from the so many different sources available and reliable sources. Be polite and inquisitive to others so they too take that initiave to be as inquisitive on us as we did. 

till, then, laters ya'll and have a great happy holidays.

Its funny because its true....

Well i was at my aikido class today. Most of them in there i would say are pretty conventional men. So in class today there's a new guy. Its a first as well coz the guy is a chinese. This is interestin because its actually an aikido/silat class so there's a number of hardcore malays in there. What's also interesting is, of which i think no one in the class knows, is that the guy used to be a "she". Lucky for the "guy" im x conventional. Sucks for evryone else though when they wanna do a new move that involves groin punching or grabbing. Imagine the horror. Hahahaha. Its funny because its true.

Existence of smartphones....

well, with this new coming of age, i guess everyone is slowly, or may i retract and say rapidly moving towards the smartphones usage. i remember reading someone's FB stats saying that "never have i realized choosing a fruit would be difficult" in which referring to Apple (iPhone) and Blackberry. 

how much have these smartphones change people's lives? seriously, i guess to a totally whole different level. before this people have to take out their laptop, or go back home to check out work emails, now hell no, standing in a train? pffbt... take out your smartphone on your holiday and you'd find out that something's wrong at work. wondering what's your FB account is like? notifications and all that shit? pffbt... take out your smartphone and you'd find out who tagged you on the latest uncool photo u have probably when you were sleeping and unintentionally grabbing your package. 

yes, literally, we are living in the world of technology, and i may have once mentioned in one of my blog entries, that one day technology will definitely rule the world, and hopefully not without us (damn you Arnold!). Either way, we're bridging gaps that has always seem to be difficult and all. but along the way, most of us dont realize the non existing gaps that we've now created. what gaps you say? those gaps that may actually matter much more than your stupid smartphones. 

go to a dinner, or chill out session with your 4 of your friends and all. sit down, order drinks, catch up for the first few minutes, and suddenly one person would take out their smartphone to check out something that just probably vibrated the orgasm out of them. next thing you know, now we're down to 3 friends. then you start catching up and all that, a person points out like "did you check out the news on Glee this morning?" then that person starts opening the clip to show everyone. now while searching for that clip, we're down to 2 converses who coincidentally these two friends probably has the least to talk about within the 4. however, there is a catch, which is , somehow they talk great in chat mode, so, in the end both of them takes out their smartphones and chat away with each other catching up despite sitting close to each other a fist punch's length and by the time the first person who was checking out their phone is done with their thing, s/he looks up and find that no one seems to pay attention to the person. which eventually, slowly diminishes these group of people's relationship with each other. yeay smartphones. 

now don't deny it, this actually happened to most of us. once i changed into my smartphone, i started to get into it too and to be honest, i am not proud of it not even one bit. back then when everyone was quiet, and just checking out smses, someone would eventually strike up something intelligent and started the ball rolling again. then when the heated argument ends. small gap, then someone else would get the ball rolling and so on and so forth.

we are destroying actual social life and culturing intangible social living. no wonder researches estimated sometime in the near future, that there will be a majority of unattractive people as they are consumed in this intangible world of theirs. 

now i was talking in the Relationship: Friends view. how about those Relationship: Family view? some people already dont talk much to their parents, wives, kids and family much due to over commitment to work. then "hello smartphones". going to an event with your family and then instead of sitting down with your in laws listening (or trying listen), or your even your own family talking, you'd be taking out your smartphone and mingling with it instead. where's the courtesy in that? i may have done it too... to be honest, it's an ethic we should not adapt at all. so what if the phone buzzes a bit? look at it, dont delve in to it. what's 1 hour with the people who matters instead of those who really dont? 

we are slowly digging a big hole and creating a huge gap that wasnt even there in the first place! even if there already was a gap, we're making it worse! there should definitely be an ethics when it comes to smartphones. and who are the ones to start it? we are. otherwise, things will come around in the future, and our kids will do that to us. ignoring us in their own world looking all fat and ugly and not even sure what does a stapler, a cat or a real life chicken look like. 

well, let's start, embedding this culture within us, the importance of being a forward yet strong family and cultural values and not have our people totally westernized and ignoring what matters. a community, a close group of chill out buddies, and most of all, your family. 

Here's so far the ones i've come up with

Phone ethics my point of view

1. set your phone on silent during meal hours unless alone. 

2. dont mingle with your phone unless its really important (like telling the group of people you're otw, but you're actually just tying your shoe and about 45 minutes away instead of the 5 you mentioned)

3. working hours... silent your phone! (hate those phones that ring during meetings)

4. when you're out on date night with your other half, definitely not check out your phone in front of them. glancing is ok. god knows suddenly there's something really urgent (like your dad sending you a pic of his old religious notes only to find out 20 yrs later that his then 8 yr-old son drew a robot on it, *not guilty!*)

5. those stupid idiot who tweet/update their facebook stats like every 2 minutes, and worse of all mentioning where they are, are only inviting stalkers tracking their every single movement. you know who you are....

6. if necessary, download an icebreaker app where people go 'That is so cool!' and then when intended reaction is received, immediately keep your smartphone out of reach and start with something basic like 'ya, funny shit kan? so what were you guys up to during the weekend?'

7. let's go for 7, just because i can. let's see... ah yes... when you're on a holiday, a weekend, or a break, do NOT spoil that recharging moment with those emails or calling work. it'll spoil every single moment of it. then it'll unintentionally destroy the mood of your family whom you know would definitely be there for you no matter what whereas a smartphone wont. 

laters yall.

it's my sixth year....

fuck this place. it's my sixth year here. i really tried to like it. i never did.
i've impede my creativity, i've never felt any miserable ever in any stages of my life.
i'm sad most of the time when i leave from anywhere i am to come back here.
i've been praying that i'll be able to leave everyday, and when hope seems there, suddenly it's seems lost again.
why?

i hate being on night shifts. i wake up all pissed off. i feel like screaming my lungs out. i feel like i wanna punch someone immediately when i wake up. i hate pretending that it is ok most of the time. to be frank it's not!
i want to be with my wife, try and start a family of my own, but i'm stuck here. and truthfully it's not easy. this is not my place. why do people assume that everything they suggest is good for you?

"do technical, orang plant bagus"
"keja technical kaya, keja plant penat tapi bagus"
"keja kat plant skejap jek pastuh mintak la transfer. untuk blaja la"

well guess what, it's so difficult to learn when i feel everything is inconducive. i have no motivation nor a catalyst to study. when during my fucking off days that was said will be my time to come to the office and learn more, well, i had to come down to cover others. which in the end, im busy at the field most of the time. and when i try to sit down and study during my shifts, all ya'll say i sit on the desk too much. you have to be on the field. AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGHH.

i dont want to be here. this is not my place. please help me leave this place and be some place that can help me grow, give me better motivation to do the best in my life. not here. not here. not here.

losing it.....